voi143 Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 So..I don't know about him anymore or maybe I'm still being insecure. Well yesterday I confronted my boyfriend about this feeling that something fishy was going on. The past weekend I found a pair of earrings that were not mine in his second bedroom drawer. Now I left A lip pencil there this friday and I saw that the pencil ended up in the the same drawer as the earrings. There was this girl that kept on calling him sat. night he missed her calls, maybe because I was with him but then at 2 in the morning he returned her call.. I don't know when because I was drunk that night and don't really remember anything.I confronted him about her and says they are just friends.. (and that he doesn't even remember making that call)..never had sex and she bothers him and still wonders why they never got together. That she knows he has a girlfriend as well and that if I want him to stop talking to her that he would. I remember when we started dating he told me that he met her through his work a long time ago..but yesterday he said he met her when she was trying to hook up her girlfriend with his close friend. I asked him why he lied about that and he said he didn't know. Another thing that came out but i'm not pissed off about is that he did have sex with someone else in the begining of us dating. I told him to tell me the truth about anything because its better to know now than for me to get my heart broken through other means and we can just go our seperate ways. He says no there is nothing..or no one and that I never have to worry. That I should focus on the both of us. I told him I will defintely tell him when something is up and he should do the same because I want that relationship my parents have and that I see us getting married after I finish school. After this conversation I still feel a bit funny..especially about where the lip liner ended up..any suggestions? I just want a clear head so i don't ruin my 21st birthday, Link to post Share on other sites
Kengne Posted June 18, 2006 Share Posted June 18, 2006 So..I don't know about him anymore or maybe I'm still being insecure. Well yesterday I confronted my boyfriend about this feeling that something fishy was going on. The past weekend I found a pair of earrings that were not mine in his second bedroom drawer. Now I left A lip pencil there this friday and I saw that the pencil ended up in the the same drawer as the earrings. There was this girl that kept on calling him sat. night he missed her calls, maybe because I was with him but then at 2 in the morning he returned her call.. I don't know when because I was drunk that night and don't really remember anything.I confronted him about her and says they are just friends.. (and that he doesn't even remember making that call)..never had sex and she bothers him and still wonders why they never got together. That she knows he has a girlfriend as well and that if I want him to stop talking to her that he would. I remember when we started dating he told me that he met her through his work a long time ago..but yesterday he said he met her when she was trying to hook up her girlfriend with his close friend. I asked him why he lied about that and he said he didn't know. Another thing that came out but i'm not pissed off about is that he did have sex with someone else in the begining of us dating. I told him to tell me the truth about anything because its better to know now than for me to get my heart broken through other means and we can just go our seperate ways. He says no there is nothing..or no one and that I never have to worry. That I should focus on the both of us. I told him I will defintely tell him when something is up and he should do the same because I want that relationship my parents have and that I see us getting married after I finish school. After this conversation I still feel a bit funny..especially about where the lip liner ended up..any suggestions? I just want a clear head so i don't ruin my 21st birthday, Ok so you're not fazed that he cheated on you in the early stages of your rel'ship? Alrighty then. The earrings are a red flag. Have you asked him about who they belong to? Maybe a sister or close female friend lost or dropped them while in his apt, and that's why he has it saved in his drawer? The lip liner thing... not a big deal. Seems that he placed it there with the other feminine stuff. But what IS a big deal IMO, is the fact that he lied about this female friend who still has feelings for him! WHY would he lie about how they met? If he lied about that for 'no reason' what other things could he be lying about for 'no reason' e.g. the true nature of their 'friendship'. HM. I can't say he's cheating because of lack of conclusive evidence but smth smells really fishy and I would DEFINITELY keep my eyes open for anymore suspicious activity. Why don't you ask him to introduce you to this 'friend' and see how he reacts? K. Link to post Share on other sites
Author voi143 Posted June 19, 2006 Author Share Posted June 19, 2006 The thing is he said with soemone else in the begining of when we were dating before we decided to be exclusive so I thought that I shouldn't have a problem with that. I asked him about the earrings and he said they belonged to his sister's daughter and he put them there because I guess she forgot them in his apt. I asked him when was the last time his sister and his kids came to his apt he says that he doesn't remember a while ago...and then i said those earrings just recently showed up...Should I call the sis and talk to the daughter and ask whether she is missing these earrings?But then he started yelling at me saying I need to pay attention to him and if I did that I would realize he is not that type of person. That just the manner of which I was accusing him was just wrong and that I should not come to him about little things like that unless it is a clear big sign that something is going on. He said "the minute I stop paying attention to you is when you should know something is up"..and that maybe the reaon I keep acting funny is because of the attention he pays to me or something. At the end of the arguement he kept saying if he ever treated his previous girlfriends the way he treated me he would have babies everwhere by now..I mean he does do a lot but I keep thinking that something is still not quite right... As far as the female friend he explained how she knows about me and that she is just that just a friend and he doesn't even hang out with his female friends much if at all. They just talk on the phone. But he did she that girl in question recently..He did introduce me to one of his female friends over the weekend when we went to a wedding ceremony together. At the end of the conversation he kept saying he is amazed that I don't trust him but I said don't you want to put my mind at ease. I dunno its weird...because as much as I want to fall head over heels in love with this person I am constantly on the lookout...i get scared that if i don't get it in control it might be doing more harm to the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
misslady7 Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 You know things are easier said than done, and I am not the kind of individual that will tell someone to leave their significant other because I myself have gone through a situation like yours, actually worst. The most I can tell you is if you feel that the relationship can work and you can trust him, that's fine but always keep your eyes and ears open. Don't allow anything that he says or do blind you, pay close attention. I hope that he's telling you the truth, and I hope that he doesn't do anything silly. Just be careful. Good Luck! Keep us posted ok? Link to post Share on other sites
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