jenny23 Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I was very excited when I found this site. I was sitting at work and I googled the phrase "why won't he marry me." It seems that i am not alone!! Thoughts of getting married seem to consume more and more of my thoughts. I am 23 and I have been with my bf for 5 years, living together for 1. There is not much difference between us and married couples. I just dont' understand why he hasn't asked me to marry him and I also don't understand why I can't shake the desire. It is not like he doesn't know that i want to get married. I flat out tell him that I want to, but he refuses to discuss this issue. I do not get a response when i talk about marriage so I really don't know what his thoughts are on the matter. On holidays and our anniversery i get my hopes up and i can't help to be disappointed. I don't want to act this way but i can't seem to help it, i dont' want to ruin a good thing by nagging him to death. I also want that commitment. I want to know that this is forever. I don't think that I can give him an ultimatum becasue I don't think i am willing to leave him if he doesn't give in. I either have to change him or change me. I thought that maybe having other people like myself to talk to and share stories with would help me deal with this situation. I appreciate people taking the time to help. Link to post Share on other sites
tikigods Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 honestly you need to sit him down and get the answers you are looking for. He needs to be honest with you as to why he doesn't want to get married, and you might find that you two are on different paths. Then it will be time to see if you are willing to wait longer or if you are happy to remain boyfriend and girlfriend forever Link to post Share on other sites
norajane Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 There is not much difference between us and married couples. This is the key to your problem. If there's not much difference, then he's already getting the benefits of marriage and doesn't see any need to actually get married. He may be uncertain of a long-term commitment to you, in which case you definitely should talk about what he wants out of a relationship. Has he ever talked about marriage? Maybe he doesn't like the idea, or is afraid of being tied down forever...you can only know if you ask. On the positive side, if he's your age, then you're both pretty young and it's possible he might want to wait until he's more established at work and can support a family - some guys do think like that. If that's the case, it's certainly something you can discuss and develop a plan for when he might be ready from a goals perspective. Link to post Share on other sites
Buttaflyy Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 I don't think i am willing to leave him if he doesn't give in. I either have to change him or change me. You are the only person that you can change. So getting to the root...you are the one who is faced with a big decision on what to do as far as changing you (or your relationship) . You can't make him talk about it no more than you can make him marry you. Link to post Share on other sites
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