ATrain Posted June 13, 2006 Share Posted June 13, 2006 Hi everyone. First off, thanks to everyone that posts on this site. You are all a great HELP in helping me deal with the heartache I'm going through. My GF and I broke up about 5 months ago ( her choice). If you're interested in reading why here is the link to the post I made right after the break up, http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t85712/ So hear is the deal, I have been NC the whole time, I haven't caved once. I'm proud of myself for not initiating contact. Then again, the fact that she hasn't either is a big reason why I've been able to do that. The reason I'm posting is because the last few daysI keep regressing, and thinking that everything was my fault. That my jealousy and insecurity were what caused all of this. In my head I know that is not true, but I'm just hurting so much. I've been on few dates with some really amazing women since the breakup but I still think about my ex all the time. I think I still Love her. I've been doing my best to keep busy ie going to the gym, playing lots of golf, focusing on work etc. But she is always on my mind. I'm hurting so bad. Any suggestions out there on how to get her out of my mind? I want to move on but I jut can't....HELP!! Link to post Share on other sites
overseas2004 Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 I think that you need to go back in your mind to how you felt everytime she lied to you. And you need to remember that regardless of how bad you feel now, you dont feel as bad as you did at that moment when you realized that she was lying to you or potentially cheating on you. Five months is a long time and you have put a good amount of space between her and you. This is really really important. And this is what should keep you from regressing. The progress you have made should prevent you. Can you please just tell me how you hacked into her email? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ATrain Posted June 14, 2006 Author Share Posted June 14, 2006 Thanks for that overseas. As for how I did it, i'd rather not say......I just hate feeling like this.... Link to post Share on other sites
Big_A Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Atrain, every time I start to think about my ex, especially when I'm dwelling on her with someone else or “how could she do this to me…” I say to myself, “don’t make this about her, make it about me.” After that I ask myself, “what do I want to be doing right now?” and for the most part I do it. I am trying to stay focused on making new and happy memories that do not involve her, eventually that ghost will be exorcised. Link to post Share on other sites
the_alchemyst Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 . . . eventually that ghost will be exorcised. Yes, let us hold a ritual to banish these demons/ghosts and their remnants. Link to post Share on other sites
GW7147 Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Hi ATrain (Funny, I use to ride the A-Train when I went to college in Manhattan!) After reading your post, I felt as if I was reading one of my posts. My ex broke up with me at the end of April '06 and also practiced NC for the past 7 weeks. No Contact at all with the exception of 3 emails immediately after we split. I've been doing the same: exercising, golf etc... It was rough at first and I noticed that I too, have been "regressing". Thinking about what she's up to, does she think about us at all. I soemtimes think, she's doing absolutely fantastic and doesn't have a care in the world and I'm sitting here feeling "stuck" sometimes. I think we tend to galmorize our exes and think they are doing so much better than us. I know in my mind that my ex probably isn't doing as great as I think. Her 15 year old son was arrested for breaking into his high and stealing a bunch of stuff. This happened 6 days after we broke up. She is also having a difficult time with her 13 year old daughter. So, in the grand sceme of things, she's probably having more of a difficult time than I am, as far as "life" is concerned. Don't know what her thoughts are about us but, at this point, I can't worry about that. You've come a long way ATrain. each time you take a step back, remind yourself how far you've come and think about where YOU want to be in life. I think it would more comforting to be with somebody that is going to be honest with you and not sneak around behind your back and lie to you. You weren't the one who created this situation and if your ex respected you, she would have done the right thing to save the relationship. Instead, she tried to turn the tables and get mad at you for snooping. Stay the course, be strong and find yourself somebody that will provide happiness and piece of mind. Take care brother!! Regards, GW Link to post Share on other sites
overseas2004 Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 The reason I asked is because I really need to find out if mine is cheating on me. Could you write me at [email protected]? Link to post Share on other sites
Author ATrain Posted June 15, 2006 Author Share Posted June 15, 2006 Thanks GW!! My family and friends all tell me that same thing you just did. I just need to start really beleiving it. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts