CinnamonLee Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 Recently, I'm taking on some leadership roles at work. It happens that my good friend (don't know if I can still call her that) at work is in my team. Before we actually work together on one project, everything was fine. We had lunch together and chit-chated a lot and such. However, since we have been working together, I found that she did not perform as well as one's supposed to be at the same position which I don't go into details. It was very detrimental to the project (we do have some timelines to meet) and it's not fair to the other hard-working and productive team members. When I see her outside work-related settings (like meetings), I find it very hard to get back to our original relationship since I feel like I don't respect her as much as before. I think my professional integrity is taking over the emotional side of me. Am I the only one having this problem? Link to post Share on other sites
killercards Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 I am a guy, And we have the same deal going on at my work only she is a supervisor and it was tough at first but I do my work and she does hers... Everything is great.. Just tell her to do her work, Make a list of task that need to be done. Kind of seprate yourselfs from work... Link to post Share on other sites
Taressa Posted June 17, 2006 Share Posted June 17, 2006 Hi Cinnamon, I'm not quite clear if this is a permanent arrangement or if it's a temporary project-related assignment. If you have been promoted and she is now your subordinate it's likely you'll have to back off the friendship a bit. Unless she is a rare person who will work with integrity and hold her tongue no matter what you share with her it just does not work to have an informal relationship with someone over whom you have authority. Friendships need intimacy and complete honesty; as her manager you may not be able to have that open relationship you once enjoyed without compromising the trust the company has placed in you. Talk to your friend. If you cannot be honest with her about the situation I would be tempted to question how good a friend she was in the first place. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CinnamonLee Posted June 17, 2006 Author Share Posted June 17, 2006 My team right now it's project-related. It will be a different combination of people next time, but I'll still be a project leader. My company has an interesting managerial structure. Project leader is appointed based on a person's ability, not his job title or number of years in the field. So, in my team, I have a bachelor level associate and a few Ph.D.s whose experience varies from 1 year to 15 years. My friend and I both have been around about 3-4 years and have the same job title. In the project team, I'm on the top of what everybody is doing. However, outside the project, my friend and I report to the same manager, who oversees all the projects in the department. My authority is limited to coordinating everybody's task and keep the team on the right track to delivery on time and such. If my associate is not doing well, I can easily tell/help/train him to do better. But if a Ph.D. is not doing well, it's very awkward for me to fix it directly (Ph.D. are supposed to be trained to work on their own). So, all I can do is to go through our common manager. I don't have problems pointing out her issues because I was telling the truth and my manager saw the same things independently. She has been more cooperative in the past week or so. After all, it's her own career at stake. We'll see. Link to post Share on other sites
Taressa Posted June 17, 2006 Share Posted June 17, 2006 Sounds like you managed to handle both the management and the friend well. Congratulatons! I've found management level accounting to be a little lonely as I've found it necessary to distance myself a little from the people I manage. I find when I've become personally involved with them it makes for more fun in the day but makes it much more difficult for me to be unbiased in a situation that calls for discipline. I've also found my workers are more professional when there is a little distance between us - they're less likely to ask for leniency and more likely to do what's right for the department. I hope you have continued success and the best of team members in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
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