Miss Mojo Posted November 9, 2001 Share Posted November 9, 2001 hi everyone, i have a little problem and i need some urgent advice. i am currently unemployed, but i am registered with numerous agencies and actively seeking employment. this morning, i spoke to a consultant from an agency, who said she has a job she would like to put me forward for. the only problem is, this job is in a very small district - where my ex works. i do not want to be put forward for this job because the chances of running into my ex are VERY HIGH. just thinking about running into him makes me feel sick, not because he's a pig (because he's not), but because it was a very painful and difficult break-up. he also works in the same industry as this prospective job, which increases my chances of running into him even more so. in a nutshell, this guy is one guy i will always have feelings for. i do not want to run into him because it will only make things very difficult for me and i don't want to feel that way. trust me. i know seeing him again will hurt far too much. when we broke up i told him there would be no contact. i have stuck to that because i knew how difficult it would be to be in contact. we will never get back together and that is a fact. you know how most of us have someone who we will always feel for? well, this guy is that one person. now....what the hell do i tell the agency? i cannot work in such close proximity to him with such a huge chance of running into him. i honestly can't. please help!! all words of wisdom are welcome! Link to post Share on other sites
midori Posted November 9, 2001 Share Posted November 9, 2001 Oh wow, that's a tricky situation. I don't know how your placement agent is, but couldn't you just tell her that upfront? Then you can be explicit about your stipulation -- cannot work in that district -- rather than having to come up with specific excuses everytime the agent finds something there. That's all I can think of. And I don't think it's something to be embarrassed about, you don't even need to tell her the exact nature of your aversion to a particular person in that area, you needn't reveal that it's your ex if you don't want to, you don't need to give her his name or anything like that. I will say that it's too bad that you're having to curtail your life so severely because of this ex. Was your relationship with him in the recent or more distant past? If it's the former, that's understandable. But at some point I'd think you'd want to be able to carry on doing what you need and want to do, regardless of where he is. Otherwise he'll always cast a shadow over your life. Good luck Miss Mojo! Link to post Share on other sites
Ed Posted November 9, 2001 Share Posted November 9, 2001 Miss Mojo, I have certainly missed your regular input on this forum. I am sorry to hear of your current dilemma. I have no idea what your current financial situation is. That would certainly make a difference in my advice. However, unfortunately, money does make a difference! If you are in a bind for money, take the job! To hell with this a**h*** of a former boyfriend. I really don't care what he did or didn't do when you were together, if this is a good, reliable employer, and you need the money, take it! But keep looking for something more lucrative if it bother you to be employed there. Speaking from my point of view, there is no one that can ruin my life and/or prosperity. That is my first priority! If you want to let this guy PREVENT you from accepting employment, go ahead. You very well may find employment somewhere else, but I would hate to imagine my life being limited by ANYONE! Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted November 9, 2001 Share Posted November 9, 2001 I'm with Ed on this one. You can't run from this guy for the rest of your life. The worst thing that can happen if you see him is you just look the other way and feel weird in your stomach for a minute or two. As painful as you think it may be, you might be surprised at how you can be strengthened by this experience. To let another person have such power in your life is not looking out for you. Simply rescind the power over your life that you have given him and the sight of him will be pretty meaningless. A paycheck and eating regularly is the priority here. Link to post Share on other sites
Miss Mojo Posted November 9, 2001 Share Posted November 9, 2001 thanks guys for your advice. it was much appreciated. midori - i told the agency about the aversion to a certain person and they were absolutely fine about it. thanks for that advice! tony and ed - i totally agree with you that people shouldn't let someone else impact on their life. i've had a couple of boyfriends before who wouldn't have phased me one little bit if i ran into them. this one is different however, it's new to me and it's really strange. men, huh? *wink wink* on the other hand, i have 4 other areas for the consultant to canvas, including sydney cbd, which has many job ops. phew!!! what a relief! thanks again and i'll be back here shortly to help others as much as i can. Link to post Share on other sites
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