Linda_411 Posted June 14, 2006 Share Posted June 14, 2006 I found my bf's profile on this dating website lovehappens.com. When i asked him about it he just denys it, and says that his msn put all his info through(this goes through msn, this website), but really you do it yourself. It said he was looking for a girl within a 100 miles, and was interested in a comitted relationship,fling/physical. I confronted him and he says if he didn't want to be with he'd leave me. Now he says I'm too clingy, and he feels crowded. Can you tell me what's up. Does it seem like he wants to cheat on me by the sounds of the website(or was he just doing it for fun) or maybe am I just too clingy, and should give him some space. Also I notice he doesn't pay much attention to me as he did before. And how should I confront him about the website, he's the type of guy that won't listen to me when there's something wrong. This is my first longterm relatioship, and I just need help on what to do. Help and reply with some good advice, soon Thanks Link to post Share on other sites
JackJack Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Honestly, it sounds as if he wants his cake and eat it to. He wants you but also wants to be involved with another. Sure he could be on that site for just "fun" and not really wanting to pursure anything, but I highly doubt thats the case. He now all of a sudden tells you that you're clingy, and he feels crowded. Classic! He is already planning on putting things off on you by telling you these things, he wants to make it look like its your fault if he does cheat, which is BS. I say, break things off with him. Tell him when he is done with the lies, and dating websites, that you might give him a second look, if its not to late, but that chances are pretty slim. JMO. Link to post Share on other sites
ashnicole Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 He's going to cheat on you - or atleast he's trying to. His bogus excuses show that much. Leave. Before he hurts you anymore than he already has. He's wanting to be with you, love on you, and at the same time, be in someone else's panties. You don't deserve that. You need to show him that you're not "that girl", and turn around and leave before it's too late. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Looking doesn't always lead to cheating. You can check and see if he's actively pursuing another woman, if you must, and see the status of the contacts he's made. If things are totally cool and he's just doing it out of curiosity, he will give you his password if you ask him. He may just be looking to see what all the hype is about. Don't condemn him just yet. Link to post Share on other sites
paige367 Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 He might have done it out of curiousity but you've already caught him in a lie. I'm betting the he's on the road to cheating or at least he's thinking about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 You can check and see if he's actively pursuing another woman, if you must, and see the status of the contacts he's made. Putting up dating profile while your with someone is actively pursing another woman. This is a no brainer.. Since you already have asked him about it and he denied then you have no choice but to dump him.. You are slowly going to become the back burner girl and he is most likely only dating you because someone else hasn't come around yet.. But be assured that as soon as he has a replacement for you he will dump you Sorry that your going thru this.. Link to post Share on other sites
catgirl1927 Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Putting up dating profile while your with someone is actively pursing another woman. THANK YOU. It kills me how some people wait until penetration to admit that someone is cheating. If he's chasing women all around, is he excused just because no one says yes? Link to post Share on other sites
ashnicole Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 THANK YOU. It kills me how some people wait until penetration to admit that someone is cheating. If he's chasing women all around, is he excused just because no one says yes? Haha, that made me laugh. ;x Link to post Share on other sites
Author Linda_411 Posted June 15, 2006 Author Share Posted June 15, 2006 How should I confront him? Is there anyway that I should give him a second chance? It's just hard, I love him so much, I just don't want to lose him, and find out he had no intention of cheating on me. What should I say? How can you tell if he's telling the truth? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 A r/s reqires more than jus giving. Taking. Ask one who knows. I knew this man that did just that. He uses women because he is too lazy, too much into lying and cheating. He covers his tracks constantly. I recall, a young lady in distress. We were about to get something to eat, it was late, but the restaurant in mind was closed. This girl was upset, and my guy told me to tell her to get into the car. I proceeded to drive back home, and since my cell was not in working order, [hmm, wonder why?] I offered her some change to make a call. I had just purchased some beer so that he and I could relax and maybe watch the moonlight together, Nnnnoooo, he grabs some beer and walks off. I find out from a mutual friend, they had gone to the river, he fu---- her, and told this friend to ask for my car to give her a ride home! I realized later, because I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt, but noticed his shorts were no longer under his pants! This is just one incident. Before long his cheated demeaner and lies broke the spell and I found him to be coniving, and uses women at his discretion. Now, the sweet and charming fellow I once knew, calls me stupid and he is the mastermind. Really. Too bad, another one bites the dust. Besides, I'm tired of his BS and he really isn't what I believed him to be. Oh and don't make plans, he'll take your money say your going to the move and dinner leave 1/2 hour before and return at 2 am. The BS continues. SHould I continue this r/s? Or let him rip me blind. Hmmm, bet he tells another story. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Putting up dating profile while your with someone is actively pursing another woman. This is a no brainer.. Sorry Art, but I gotta disagree with you. I don't think one always means the other. I had a profile when I was MARRIED. I did it for kicks. Would I ever meet someone off the internet?? Not in a million! But just because you're on a diet doesn't mean you can't look on the menu!! BTW, I never cheated on my exH with someone I met IRL either. It could be purely for enjoyment purposes only, what this guy is doing. And completely platonic. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Sorry Art, but I gotta disagree with you. I don't think one always means the other. I had a profile when I was MARRIED. I did it for kicks. Would I ever meet someone off the internet?? Not in a million! But just because you're on a diet doesn't mean you can't look on the menu!! BTW, I never cheated on my exH with someone I met IRL either. It could be purely for enjoyment purposes only, what this guy is doing. And completely platonic. She asked him about it and he said he didn't do it..He lied.. So he wasn't doing it for kicks..He lied. By the way.. did your husband know about your profile ?.. I noticed you said WHEN you were married.. does that mean you no longer are ? Well if you're not then it goes to the OP issue on their relationship.. it still spells trouble. Regartdless the OP should have her eyes open now.. because past behavior is an indicator of future behavior. Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 So he wasn't doing it for kicks..He lied. By the way.. did your husband know about your profile ?.. I noticed you said WHEN you were married.. does that mean you no longer are ? Well if you're not then it goes to the OP issue on their relationship.. it still spells trouble. My exH had no idea of what I was doing online. If he had asked, I probably would have denied it. But ours was a troubled marriage regardless if I had a profile or if he had one. Maybe he did, who knows?? But I did it out of curiosity and boredom mainly. Not because I was actively pursuing another. Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 My exH had no idea of what I was doing online. If he had asked, I probably would have denied it. But ours was a troubled marriage regardless if I had a profile or if he had one. Maybe he did, who knows?? But I did it out of curiosity and boredom mainly. Not because I was actively pursuing another. Thanks for answering my question.. Do you think you would've done it if your were married to the love of your life ? Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted June 16, 2006 Share Posted June 16, 2006 Do you think you would've done it if your were married to the love of your life ? Nope, probably not. Okay, so I see what you mean. OP, I guess you should really consider getting out of this relationship. You can do better. Link to post Share on other sites
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