Mjfru Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 You see . . . . . I got a crazy long story. Well for starters I feel like I'm a very attractive guy, who is very funny, and I feel like I am always a wonderful gentleman to girls. Well I had a gf for three years and then she cheated on me with one of my best friends now those two are together. Since then, two years ago at least, I've had little to no luck with girls. I must've gotten a serious crush on over 20 girls since then, and I've attempted to date around 10 of them or so. Well 2 were successful, and I had gotten a date or "some fun" out of it, but . . . . . 2/10 are HORRIBLE odds. I feel like being a nice guy isn't what girls like . . . . all I know is that is who I am and I'm not changing that! Anyway, the reason I'm writing this is because tonight I attempted to ask a really beautiful girl out that's in one of my summer courses. Well, knowing my luck, she's engaged! Shot down there . . . again . . . . and the hole grows deeper. Now I believe things happen for reasons and that things even out in the end, but HOW LONG?! At this point the perfect girl is about the only one to pull me out of the slump I'm in. The truth is that I'm so upset that I didn't know what else to do but write this post. Sorry if anyone read this and it took up their time Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Well for starters I feel like I'm a very attractive guy, who is very funny, and I feel like I am always a wonderful gentleman to girls. Congratulations. However, how do women feel about you? How do other guys feel about you? A lot of people think they are wonderful who aren't wonderful at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mjfru Posted June 15, 2006 Author Share Posted June 15, 2006 I HATE it when this happens . . . I really should go to bed, but I'm scared of what happens when I wake up . . . heartbreak yet again . . . Link to post Share on other sites
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Ok. First, lay off the self-praise. You are not 'classy' if you are saying these about yourself: I feel like I'm a very attractive guy, who is very funny, and I feel like I am always a wonderful gentleman to girls. If you are all that ... then you wouldn't be without a girlfriend!! haha Sorry, I couldn't help with that. The best way to find out why girls don't want to date you? Ask them! (Sounds to me like you need some female friends or sisters!) If you want earnest advice here, my best suggestion is to be honest. Tell us what you are really like by stating examples. Post your picture on your avatar and let us tell you if you are attractive. Otherwise, I don't know what we can tell you. For starters, don't blame it on being oh-so 'nice'. We hear it all the time here. Link to post Share on other sites
dgiirl Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Odds? Think about it! You will always end up in a failed relationship some way or another until you find THE one. And even when you think you've found THE one, you might not have, and you'll end up in a failed relationship until you meet THE (next) one. And, I wouldnt consider someone being engaged being turned down. She didnt turn you down. She just wasnt available, so she doesnt count in your analysis. Out of 10 women, 2 of them wanted to date you? Hell, I think that's pretty damn good odds! I havent been in a relationship for over a year now. There's been some guys I've been interested, but they havent been towards me, and vice versa. I think it's really hard to find someone where you BOTH have that click, that spark. So stop feeling sorry for yourself Link to post Share on other sites
paige367 Posted June 15, 2006 Share Posted June 15, 2006 Well, I agree that you are probably a pretty nice guy but a little on the cocky side. At least you make an effort to be gentelmanly in your view of what that is. I'm understanding the frustration here. We look and look and it seems we'll never find the one. I'm exhausted with trying. I'm sick of telling people about myself and hoping they are the one I click with. But I have to believe that somewhere sometime we'll find eachother. The prize is worth the struggle and if I must get hurt a million times for a little bit of wonderful then I have to believe that the wonderful will be worth it. I'm wondering if you're overlooking girls who may not be so "perfect" and "beautiful". There are alot of people out there who are beautiful but you don't know it until you get to know them. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Mjfru Posted June 15, 2006 Author Share Posted June 15, 2006 alright yes I'm sorry, I sound completely cocky and I shouldn't . . . see the truth is I just feel that way, but with every deny I get I def. don't feel that way anymore . . . and yes I have more female friends than male and my sister is with me on about every encounter with a new girl . . . and the truth is that they all told me those things about me, that i'm handsome, funny, sweet, all that stuff, and they just say to keep trying, so I do, but I seem to keep failing too . . . . well whatever, I agree with what some of you are saying, it seems like we'll keep looking forever, but idk I guess one day it'll finally happen . . . I just gotta keep trying and keep affording to get hurt Link to post Share on other sites
Adunaphel Posted June 18, 2006 Share Posted June 18, 2006 Anyway, the reason I'm writing this is because tonight I attempted to ask a really beautiful girl out that's in one of my summer courses. Well, knowing my luck, she's engaged! If she is engaged, then it has nothing to do with you personally. If she is engaged, and in love with someone else, it does not matter how interesting you are. (or should not) So do not see this one episode as a failure. Also..... I know a lot of guys who are real gentlemen, and classy, but I'm not interested in all of them *just because* they are gentlemen. And this works for all ladies. If a guy is a gentlemen, I regard it either as a necessary quality, or as a bonus. But it's not enough in itself. You wouldn't date a girl just because she is very sweet, loyal and trustworthy, would you? Also.... perhaps you are asking out the wrong kind of girls? Link to post Share on other sites
Forever Searching Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 I agree with the "just because" theory. Sometimes I'm interested in someone and sometimes I'm not it has nothing to do with class or how nice they are. It's odds. It's not always about looks it's more complicated than that. Link to post Share on other sites
Buttaflyy Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Like everyone else. I could not see where this thread was relative to it's title. But I'll answer anyways...I ADORE CLASSY MEN! Wouldn't have him any other way. Link to post Share on other sites
Tim'sAngel Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 I don't think there are anything unbelievable about the odds you gave us. When I was still dating, I would go to a bar and flirt with at least 10 different men directly or indirectly, that doesn't mean they all wanted me for their wife and that I went home with all of them. I say this alot when trying to give advice, but it is all about compatibility. If you are not going after women who are compatible with you, then kiss them all goodbye. How old are you? It takes awhile to know who and what you are compatible with. Once you do know and establish in your mind that you will not date or attempt to date anyone who won't fit you, then you're gonna keep getting dissapointed. there are hundreds of people out there we are compatible with, but they are not all in the same room, or maybe even the same city. Oh, and by the by, I'm glad you are confident, but be aware you are not over confident as that can be extremely unatrractive!! It isn't always about looks. In fact with women, it is less about looks and more about chemistry and emotional bonding. Try focusing less on your looks, and more on finding someone who is compatible with you. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Amulet Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Ok. First, lay off the self-praise. You are not 'classy' if you are saying these about yourself: If you are all that ... then you wouldn't be without a girlfriend!! haha Sorry, I couldn't help with that. The best way to find out why girls don't want to date you? Ask them! (Sounds to me like you need some female friends or sisters!) If you want earnest advice here, my best suggestion is to be honest. Tell us what you are really like by stating examples. Post your picture on your avatar and let us tell you if you are attractive. Otherwise, I don't know what we can tell you. For starters, don't blame it on being oh-so 'nice'. We hear it all the time here. I've got agree with it all!!! Show us a pic.... *does sleazy eye brow lift* Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Amulet Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 Guess not then... Link to post Share on other sites
j.carsey Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 For starters, don't blame it on being oh-so 'nice'. We hear it all the time here. I think the main reason the "too nice" thing comes up often is when guys realize that they are not as aggressive as the other guys who are getting more women. There are some damn ugly and stupid, but confident/aggressive, dudes who are getting a lot of women. I'm sure your personality etc is fine, mine too. But that stuff comes "later" as women, like men, are superficial creatures. When you first start talking to one the things they see are: your appearance, how you talk, how you move. Making sure you give off an image of confidence, and being a bit aggressive (even perhaps inappropriately forward) with women you like can only help. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Amulet Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 I don't think this guy is coming back. We scared him off Link to post Share on other sites
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