What does this mean? A long story.

[Guest]

Hi friends, this thing happened to me over a year back. I was in love with a girl in my college, It lasted for about six months. I had to go to my home for a couple of days and i used to call here from home and also on the way. It was a road trip as it takes 15hours drive to reach my home. While returning back also i called her, but i stayed over at my aunts place for two days and those two days i didn't call her. Then when i called her after two days she was like i forgot your voice, and it was nice when you were not there etc etc...

 

And finally when i reached she was like lets end up this relationship, or lets just be friends (she was sayin she wanted only to be friends from the very beginning but i was being stubborn in my decision that i won't be just a friend). I don't know what really ticked her off, this happened two days after i reached colg.

 

Before that a small fight happened, i didn't fight but i wasn't studyin well and she got pissed with that and said she won't contact me until she can see the result (Well, i have to tell you that she's very good in her studies). After that happened i called her up and patched it. But dint last long and the above said episode happened.

 

But now it's more than six months after the breakup. I still love her. I don't know if she does too. But she's been giving signals like she does... i'll explain. One thing to keep in mind is that we never talked after the break up, still don't, i always tried but she didn't. But these are the things that happened after the break up.

 

I proposed to her on feb 14th 2005, so the next feb14th came 2006 (we were not talking at this time) i wanted to send her cards.[[ But an incident happened before that. She used to tell me that she has certain limitations that doesn't allow her to be friends with me. I asked her what it was, she told me that i already knew it. Then again i asked her to tell me about it. She agreed to tell it when i come to colg (i was at home). So when i got back i got screwed up in my head thinkin about it and got angry with her tellin her that i don't want to know about her f***in principles (I resent that very much). She called me and started gettin angry and i didnt let go and we had a nice quarrel over the phone and she lost the battle. (When we broke up the first time it was she who won the battle ) ]] Becoz of this i couldn't send her the card or try to make up on the second v day. But i told her friends that i'm very sorry and all that i could to make her feel better... she did get better, after i blamed myself a lot and cursed myself a lot.Anyways on V day i catch her listenin to a CD in the colg on her walkman (she doesn't do that normally), actually she came wearin the headset. I had given her a nice compilaion of mp3s, i was wondering whether it could be that.

 

1) I catch her lookin at me while in the class. I yawned once and right after it she did it too.. (it happened but people don't take this serious)

 

2) If i give something to charity she does it too. People come in the class form organisations before she gives anything she observes if i'm doing so. After i give she also gives.

 

3) Her friend became friends with me. I once gave her a lift to college. She told my crush about it and she only made her come back and ask me a lift back home. We did talk a bit about my crush in the car. Now i'm not being friends with this girl as something happened between us.

 

4) One day i asked her if she's in love with someone else, she didn't say anything. I again asked (messaged) her the other day, she said yes she's in love with another guy. And i asked who that is as i just wanted to know. She didn't reply. I dint believe it. When we first met, she told me the same thing (that time also i dint believe it), but later on she only told me that she had lied and she dint have anyone in her life. But i got ticked off and asked her to return the gifts i gave her. She brought it the other day and gave it to me, i said my bag is full and that i can't carry it. Then she reminded that i have a car , i said okay and made her walk behind me to the parking lot carrying the gifts. She wasn't pleased.

 

5) I felt bad that i asked to bring it back. So i sent her back to her thru post. The other day she came in a fit of anger and threw it on top of my car. I didn't take it, i drove off and it fell somewhere on the road. I let her know about it thru a message.

 

6) One my crush she called me, i saw it on the missed calls list. I called her back but she didn't pick it. She sent me a message like it was a mistake and she was calling a teacher of our college. Her (teacher's) name can't possibly be anywhere near to my name...unless she has saved my number as 'Joker' lol

 

7) Then an incident happened, i got close to another girl in our class ( i wasn't serious just wanted to show her that i can go after other girls too). But it backfired. I explained a lot to her (thru text messages, she reads my messages tho). And she too started to act as if she was interested in another guy. That was there for a while, i got depressed, never used to take food properly, once in two days, that too a little and one day in the laboratory (we were doin experiment and i had to give blood) i fainted. Then when i woke up guys had taken me out by the time. After sometime i again returned to the lab (prof told me that i can leave if i want to) and saw her lyin on the table, she was sad. My friends also told me that she looked real sad and depressed when it happened to me. But when she saw me, she got up and started doing her practical. She dit say anything bout it, she dint call me also.

 

8) She caught me smoking, but she dint say anything, I dint expect to get caught also. She knew that i didnt smoke, i had told her that i stopped it. Well i did, but started again after all these happened.

 

9) She dressed exactly like the way i did and came to college one day. It couldn't have been coincidence or was it? We both were wearing black tees with some writing on the front and we both were wearin blue jeans, the shades were exactly similar. That day i reached college very early and it could've been that some of her friends might have told her what i'm wearing. (Wishful thinking?)

 

9) It's exam time. She fights with her long term girl pals. I find her alone and not as happy as before. The girl pals try to get close to me (while they were frinds they dint care to), i ask them what happened between them, and got the reply that they can't get be together with her (after more than a year??)

 

10) I sent my girl a message telling her to get back with her friends have a good time and have fun. I told her friends not to ridicule her if she ever comes and talk to you. Her frinds dint like it and i don't speak with them anymore.

 

11) On my birthday she wishes me happy b day thru a text message, but sayin just as a friend. I was really surprised, she dint talk to me, she never used to message me (except 3 or so msga in total), i was really surprised and didnt expect her to recieve any wishes from her. But while i was writing the exam i sincerely wished that only if she had wished me. I told her about my bday a year ago and never after that, im happy that she remembered, nobody in my class knows when my bday is except for very few guys.

 

This is what has been going around for some time. I'm bloody confused, i love her very much.

 

Before the breakup one year back she used to tell me that if i wanted her then she should come and ask her parents and if they agree she'll agree, then she says that she has told this to every guy.....i got frustrated dint show it though And the thing is that i want this girl and i'm ready to take the matter to her parents. Some other guys have talked to her (just as good friends) and to them also she disclosed the matter that she doesn't want to get into any affair. This they have told me.

 

People help me out, what i need now is to get out of the confusion. I'm really cranky now thinkin bout what might be in her head etc etc. No this is not an infatuation... i only told her that i love her last year but i've been in love with her for more than two years now. I'm out of my teens, actually mid 20s. If that might help...

 

Cheers.

[Guest]

It's true that i broke almost all the rules of what to do's and what not to do's. And i continue to do so, i mail her daily, i'm always in touch with her.

 

If she broke up with me and if she aint interested in me then why is she doing such things?

 

After the break up once i got bold and told her that as far as i'm concerned the thing between us isn't over and that i would take the matter with her parents and their words would be the deciding factor. She didn't get angry and i dint know if she liked it or not, she used to look at me a lot that day

 

And another thing is that when her female friends tried to get close to me (after they had a fight between themselves) she was like watching me if i was sitting with them or not. I dint have the mood to play any mind games, so i dint do it.

 

Then one fine day i decided to shave my head, so the very next day she also changes her hair style (from pony tail to untied look), and i commented that she's looking sexy...and told her not to change the look just coz i commented. (it was thru msg as i she wouldn't speak to me thru phone/in person and she dont complain when i msg and reads all my msgs). And when my hair grew back and it was normal she too went back to her regular ponytail style.

 

Ppl don't laugh at me for this...

 

I'm utterly confused about this girl. She's one of the best students and i'm one of the worst...i just don't work hard in my studies. Racing &tuning automobiles is a passion and time is spent on that. Anyway this is the last year in colg and i know that if i stand any chance then i'll have to improve my academics.

 

Friends, any pointers in this matter would be greatly appreciated. I'm open to anything.

 

Cheers.

[Guest]

Comments please....

[Guest]

Does she love me.............. at least a bit?