thoughts

[unsure]

i've used this site before and everyone's advise was very helpful. So if I may trouble you all for some more.

 

I've been dating this guy, Fred, for over 7 months now. I've known him for over 8 years and have grown up with him. This is where i need help.

 

I have fallen in love with him. He's leaving for school in june that is over 1400 miles away. I've done the long distance thing before and so has he. I've been thinking that he does not feel the same way about me. So i was going to be strong and break up with him now rather than continue to fall in love and get more attached over the next 6 months. I told him for the first time that i love him in the same sentence as breaking up with him. I told him that is not what i want to do but that's what i'm going to do. He started to say that he really wants to be with me, that he cares a lot about me and does not want to lose me. He does not want to lose contact with me at all. He says that i'm the perfect one and that the can see himself with me for the rest of his life. I'm just having a really hard time believing it.

 

I've always believed that actions speak louder than words. And his actions are not showing that he cares. My question is he afraid of getting hurt or is he just having both side of the game...single life if i'm not there and a girlfriend for functions and stuff. What would you do?

[Tony T]

This is a decision you've got to make. However, I don't see how you can conduct a close relationship knowing that your partner is going to be leaving you cold in June to go to school 1400 miles away. Long distance relationships are a serious letdown after months of being around someone in person.

 

On the other hand, you could enjoy his company until June and endure the heartbreak of separation. I don't think this is healthy and I think it would be very hard to do with the knowledge of the future separation.

 

Do what you think will make you happy but continuing to see him is likely to end in some serious hurt, particularly when he starts dating other honeys at his new school.