My next chapter is about to begin

[dgiirl]

Thanks Debilou! I wonder why my ex married me too. Looking back, I dont know why he did. If I listen to him, it's cos he didnt want to hurt me? He's messed in the head if that's the reason. I could never marry someone out of pity or desperation. How arrogant and self serving is that to "martyr" yourself?

 

You and I have been through a tough year and we've both grown tremendously! Although my faith is shaken, and I'm uncertain about my future, I am trying not to be cynical because that only hurts me! There are a lot of good people out there! It's just hard to find the one with chemistry.

 

I say goodbye to my old job and start my new job in a few days! I'm nervous and excited and scared!!

[PWSX3]

I say goodbye to my old job and start my new job in a few days! I'm nervous and excited and scared!!

CONGRATS on the new job, I wish you the best. My friend that worked at another branch quit and started a new job and she said it was so hard the first couple days because she was so used to knowing everything and now she was starting over, but I talked to her last night and she said things are going better.

 

So give yourself some time to get used to the new job and don't let the newness overwhelm you. Remember even if it's something you have done before everyone does things different.

 

I'm really excited to hear about your new job because it didn't sound like you were happy with the old one anymore.

 

GOOD LUCK!!!

[magichands]

I could never marry someone out of pity or desperation.

What makes you think he didn't love you. I bet he did. Or, at least, he thought he did... the fickle bastard. He was just making this "pity" scenario up, for sure.

How arrogant and self serving is that to "martyr" yourself?

It's tough being the martyr around here!! Deflecting all the crap my way... day in, day out.

I say goodbye to my old job and start my new job in a few days! I'm nervous and excited and scared!!

You'll be great! Maybe. I guess. Is it too late to change your mind? I mean, I suppose you did get selected from a large pool of talent. Yes. You must be good, then. But can you be sure that you didn't just have a "good" interview day?

[mum2three]

Hang in there. Your exH sounds like a real jerk. I can't believe he dropped the bomb on V-day. That is like my H who told me b4 Thanksgiving holidays. That was always important for me with family and the kids. I just get disgusted thinking about them sometimes.

 

Try not to focus on him. I kow it's hard but you have made so much for yourself since then. We can't wait to hear about your new job. You truly deserve to be happy. I know it feels lonely sometimes b/c we weren't the ones who have someone else waiting in the wings. But you need this time to learn about yourself.

 

I am quite scared of being on my own too. Granted, I could cook and do all the domestic stuff. I never took care of the bills, taxes, leaky faucet, noisy toilet, or the car. But I learned to check the air in my tires the other day! He always did that for me and brushed the snow off my car. Now he is a complete stranger living with me. I still wonder how we got to this point.

 

But I look to you and the men & women at LS and I see that I will get there soon too. Don't let your exH get you down. You have too much spirit in you to waste on him. Save it for meeting that special someone.

[CryingCanuck]

I'm sorry sweetie, I did forget that February 14th was Dday for you hun.

my mistake, it's not just another day in your case.... forgive my insensitivity.

 

M.

 

 

ooops

 

CC

[ilmw]

I'm sorry sweetie, I did forget that February 14th was Dday for you hun.

my mistake, it's not just another day in your case.... forgive my insensitivity.

 

M.

 

 

ooops

 

CC

 

Oh...... dito on the ooops!

[dgiirl]

lol cc, ilmw, there is nothing to appologize for

 

I'm feeling better tonight. It's nice how quickly one bounces back to semi normal. I think being stuck in my apartment gets to me sometimes. Thankfully I'll be forced out of the house daily now with my new job. And tomorrow I'm going downtown again with friends. So I have something to look forward to

[surfnbro74]

hello dgiirl, i've been reading your post and since the latest topic is "what goes around comes around" I know a song you that I HIGHLY recomend to you or anyone else. Its the latest song by Justin Timberlake called "What goes around comes around" you can download it or just go to YOUTUBE.COM and do a search for it. Listen to his lyrics very carefully and you will understand why I HIGHLY recomend it. Plus, its a very good song anyways. Good Luck on your new job!

[Gunny376]

XMAS is just another day in December, V day is just another day in February ~ neither of which is inheirently good or bad, even if it is the day some senseless, selfisih, un-caring SOB decided that they were to be the day that they "dropped the bomb" on you. To say that his choice of timing was lousy would be a "stinking" understatement ~ but that's the way it happened, and there's nothing not a stinking rotten thing that you can do about it! That's just the way it is. And, it doesn't mean a thing ~ what it does mean is that you can either choose to be victimizied by it for the rest of your life ~ life's too freaking short! You've got to either choose to get busy living or get busy dying.

 

There's a saying in the Marines ~ "We'll cry tomorrow ~ today we've got business to take care of!! (Generally said with the sound of an M-16 bolt going "home" or the sound of a round being "click~clacked" into a shotgun barrel!)

 

Scarelett basically said the same when Rhett left her. She said, "I'll think about it tomorrow ~ I'll go crazy if I think of it today. Get busy gettting busy as you've done in the past. This one will be better than that origianal one ~ and next year will be better than the next one.

 

Don't let this marriage, this divorce, be the defining moment of your life. Because it shouldn't be. Because its not.

 

When it comes to most human endevors we're not only lousy at it, we fail over and over and over again. There's no reason in beating yourself up because you've failed at something. The measure of a person isn't how many times they've get knocked down. but by how many times they get back up.

 

A lot of life is just showing up for the party. A lot of people don't, and never do, and never will. You've got to adopt the attitude of a gazzelle that's just got half his azz ripped off by some lioness, but escaped. "**** it! I'm alive!" Those things that don't kill us only serve to make us stronger!

 

A lot of life is 99% perspsiration and 1% inspiriation. You can sit around spittin' whiskey into the fire bemoaning your fate ~ or you can get off your azz and get busy living your life ~ this ain't no dress reheresal you know.

 

I've personally been on both sides of the fence, beating myself up over my failed marriage, and "could have, should have, and would have" and none of its worth a damn.

 

"If" isn't worth a damn! If grasshoppers had .45 caliber pistols and had a clue as to how to use them, crows wouldn't have them for breakfast, lunch and dinner ~ but they don't and so they do.

 

I to believe in Karma ~ and what comes around ~ goes around, etc. But, as I understand it may take several years or lifetimes for it to work its way back around, (Personally, I've sometimes felt like I was a former Nazi Deathcamp Guard or something to suffer through some of the crap of this life)

 

Personally, I don't have the time, effort, nor energy to be consumed with my XW, she had her chance. She blew it, just like all the gals back in HS that didn't have the time of day for me, but are "ooohhing and ahhhing" at me now that I've moved back home after 20+ in the Marine Corps.

 

My XW broke my heart, tore my world apart ~ rocked my world when she left me. But, she also motivated me to go back and hit the books, to put this fool back into school. I've studied and read about romance, seducation, massage, men and women, relationships between men and women, the differences between men and women in communicating ~ (I've got I'm not happy! down pat)

 

I know now that what a woman means when she says, "FINE!" (aHHHHHHH HELLL!) or "Whatever" (DAMN!)

 

The truth of the matter is that women are just as confused by what men want as we men are confused by what women want and need ~ but at least I took a clue and got busy learning!

 

The "Shackers" here, me, ilmw, CC, Dgirl, LJ Mof3, Chad, Perry, etc are so far ahead of the game! We're learning! Our X's aren't!

[dgiirl]

I am quite scared of being on my own too. Granted, I could cook and do all the domestic stuff. I never took care of the bills, taxes, leaky faucet, noisy toilet, or the car. But I learned to check the air in my tires the other day! He always did that for me and brushed the snow off my car. Now he is a complete stranger living with me. I still wonder how we got to this point.

 

But I look to you and the men & women at LS and I see that I will get there soon too. Don't let your exH get you down. You have too much spirit in you to waste on him. Save it for meeting that special someone.

 

Thanks mum2three!! This is one hell of a long roller coaster of emotions, but dont fret. The end of the ride is not as bumpy as the beginning.

 

I was so petrified of living on my own, but I've grown to appreciate and love it. I'm glad to see that you are learning how to do things too! It is one of the joys I got from this whole mess. Learning to do things without him, especially things I thought I _needed_ him for! ALL the things you listed off are very easy to manage. Besides, dont underestimate your friends and associates! Even if the job is typically a "man's" job, there are PLENTY of men out there to ask for help! If you dont know how to do something, just ask! I even have a few posts on LS asking how to do some work around my old house! This forum is a great resource from relationships to every day things. Be sure to check out the lower forums like watercooler to have some light fun and take your mind off your troubles

 

 

hello dgiirl, i've been reading your post and since the latest topic is "what goes around comes around" I know a song you that I HIGHLY recomend to you or anyone else. Its the latest song by Justin Timberlake called "What goes around comes around" you can download it or just go to YOUTUBE.COM and do a search for it. Listen to his lyrics very carefully and you will understand why I HIGHLY recomend it. Plus, its a very good song anyways. Good Luck on your new job!

 

Thanks surfnbro! I'll take a listen to that song

 

 

XMAS is just another day in December, V day is just another day in February ~ neither of which is inheirently good or bad, even if it is the day some senseless, selfisih, un-caring SOB decided that they were to be the day that they "dropped the bomb" on you. To say that his choice of timing was lousy would be a "stinking" understatement ~ but that's the way it happened, and there's nothing not a stinking rotten thing that you can do about it! That's just the way it is. And, it doesn't mean a thing ~ what it does mean is that you can either choose to be victimizied by it for the rest of your life ~ life's too freaking short! You've got to either choose to get busy living or get busy dying.

 

Thanks so much Gunny! I guess I am being a little victimized by the whole day. It just feels like it was the last slap to my face. But I'm trying to use that day as a way to push me forward. A way to motivate me to move forward and take care of myself. In reality no day would have been perfect. It still would have hurt. I just find it morbidly absurd and cliche that he did it on that day of all days. And I dont think he chose that day on purpose. Knowing him, he probably really didnt know what day it was. Which just shows how little I was a priority.

 

Anyways, I'm trying to focus on better things! I've got a date tonight with my camera and friends! So I'm looking forward to that.

[mum2three]

Enjoy your nite out! I love taking pics too. I'm no professional but just enjoy the scenic moments or capturing happy times on camera. Digital is great for those of us with snappy fingers!

 

Gunny, great kickas* post there! We needed that so much. I hate those passing moments of wallowing and trying to get answers that just aren't going to be satisfactory anyway. My H is a cop out and whether he admits it or not makes no difference in what is right and good for me.

 

"We'll cry tomorrow ~ today we've got business to take care of!! This is so true. I see how D'girl's attitude can change to a positive note so quickly, well so can mine. It's crazy but we need to do it. Why shouldn't we strive to better ourselves? We only limit ourselves if we let others define our happiness.

[Gunny376]

I just find it morbidly absurd and cliche that he did it on that day of all days.

 

Life sometimes is just to ridiculous to live! Too absurd and entirely too much of a cliche. Most of us live life somewhere between a laugh and a tear, and we see happiness somewhere in between as we swing by between the two. The choice is really ours. While its true who we are and who we become is determined in part by our life experiences and the people that we meet and let enter into our lives ~ its is our choice in determining to what degree they do so.

 

WE hold the keys that will set of free, not they!

[mum2three]

Just thinking about you here at LS.

[dgiirl]

Thanks mum!!! Happy Valentines day to you!!

 

Yesterday was quite a good relaxed calm day. Since I started my new job, I've been SUPER busy and havent been able to keep up to date on the forums. So I didnt even notice that much it was d-day, and no tears for me, which was better than last year After work, I went out and got myself a small cake, which I enjoyed for supper It was a nice calm day. Cant ask for much more than that Plus, I have supper plans for the next two days with friends!

[PWSX3]

Good to hear you had a good day, you do deserve it that's for sure.

[ilmw]

I'd still love to be your dentist...

[dgiirl]

Hey guys Just an update to let you all know I'm still alive and kicking It's been a month since my last update and I'm in a much better frame of mind since that post too You know, lately, I've just been reflecting so much on how grateful I am in life. And the past month has been very busy. Starting a new job, keeping up with the photography, meeting a whole bunch of fun interesting people, and staying in touch with loved ones. I'm truly blessed and even tho I never choose any of this, life is awesome. It took me to places that I never would have thought of and I'm having an absolute blast. I notice that I look at the world with different eyes now. I see beauty all around me. I see interesting things. Today, taking the subway back home, I was in the first car and had an absolute blast watching out the front window of the subway. I was fascinated by the whole subway system. Once I got off, it was snowing these huge fluffy snow flakes and I was in awe watching them tumble down around me.

 

Keep the faith that things can be better if you are determined to make it so. Try not to get so stuck in how you want life to be and allow it to take you to places. Try new things, twice! And always be present in the present. Yes, you will have bad days, and that's ok! What matters is how quickly you decide to bounce back!

 

Thinking about all of you and hope everyone's doing well!

[magichands]

Wow. Three smileys. Is that a record?

I was fascinated by the whole subway system. Once I got off, it was snowing these huge fluffy snow flakes and I was in awe watching them tumble down around me.

Just side-effects of the medication. Nothing to worry about.

[dgiirl]

Wow. Three smileys. Is that a record?

 

Definitely not! You should have seen one of my emails to my ex after getting into an argument over asking for account numbers of bills. I used the smiley after every sentence, sometimes every word! Never underestimate the power of a smiley.

 

Just side-effects of the medication. Nothing to worry about.

 

lol yah i'm pretty high on life these days

[dgiirl]

So, after two years of being single, I've finally met someone who's giving me the butterflies! I'm totally completely infatuated with this guy and cant stop thinking about him, AND he's hot too! Unfortunately, things are going real slow, which is probably for the best since if it was going fast, I'd have a panic attack and flee, but on the other hand, I'm extremely impatient.

 

I met him about a month ago with the group that I belong to. I actually did not pay him much attention that day but we exchanged a few emails a couple of days later in which he caught my attention. He gave me a few compliments which made me ponder if he was interested. The following weekend we went out with the group again and we spent most of the day together chatting and he made it a point to sit next to me at dinner. The same thing happened the following three weekends. During this time, we've exchanged some emails and he was very smooth in exchanging phone numbers, so we've talked a few times on the phone too.

 

I get really excited at the prospect of seeing him again. I get really nervous and worry if he's only interested in friendship (he mostly teases me, very little compliments, and most of them very very subtle). I'm so nervous! He knows a little about my story, basically that I just came out of a difficult period in my life and that I'm blossoming now, but we have not got into any heavy discussions about past relationship. I dont even know if he's single! I assume he is, but I want to know yet dont know how to bring it up without getting embarrassed. I'm completely clueless on what to do, what to ask, how to ask. So far, I like him a lot and I have the feeling he likes me too, but I'm SO impatient. I, hopefully, get to see him the next two weekends as there's lots of activities with the group. I'm hoping things will progress a little more, just a tiny bit more.

 

/freaking out

[ilmw]

So, after two years of being single, I've finally met someone who's giving me the butterflies! I'm totally completely infatuated with this guy and cant stop thinking about him, AND he's hot too! Unfortunately, things are going real slow, which is probably for the best since if it was going fast, I'd have a panic attack and flee, but on the other hand, I'm extremely impatient.

 

I met him about a month ago with the group that I belong to. I actually did not pay him much attention that day but we exchanged a few emails a couple of days later in which he caught my attention. He gave me a few compliments which made me ponder if he was interested. The following weekend we went out with the group again and we spent most of the day together chatting and he made it a point to sit next to me at dinner. The same thing happened the following three weekends. During this time, we've exchanged some emails and he was very smooth in exchanging phone numbers, so we've talked a few times on the phone too.

 

I get really excited at the prospect of seeing him again. I get really nervous and worry if he's only interested in friendship (he mostly teases me, very little compliments, and most of them very very subtle). I'm so nervous! He knows a little about my story, basically that I just came out of a difficult period in my life and that I'm blossoming now, but we have not got into any heavy discussions about past relationship. I dont even know if he's single! I assume he is, but I want to know yet dont know how to bring it up without getting embarrassed. I'm completely clueless on what to do, what to ask, how to ask. So far, I like him a lot and I have the feeling he likes me too, but I'm SO impatient. I, hopefully, get to see him the next two weekends as there's lots of activities with the group. I'm hoping things will progress a little more, just a tiny bit more.

 

/freaking out

 

"Dgiirls got a boy friend".. "dgiirls got a boy friend...." lalalallalla

 

Happy to here you are opening up girl... You deserve to be happy... considering what you have been through.

 

Good luck sweety... hope you find what you are looking for...

 

BTW... where I work... we put those TO coppers to shame.. I should know.. I used to be one...

[PWSX3]

WOW!!! That is some awesome news & yes you do like him and I can tell you why I think you do?

 

Because you can't wait to spend more time with him, just the way you post sounds I think you like him.

 

So why don't you ask him out on a date? That would tell you if he is available or not.

 

If he is setting with you at meals, talking on the phone, emailing you then he is interested.

 

I think you and I are a little alike and when we like something we tend to push it along faster then it's going and it sounds like you want to push this a little faster so ASK HIM OUT!!!!!!!

 

This is great news & I'm very happy for you. Please keep us posted on what is happening. :bunny:

[dgiirl]

Thanks guys!!!

 

Yeah I really do like him so far. I'm totally smitten by him. He's very cute and more importantly, he's a lot of fun and that's exactly what I need right now. And he seems interested in me too, always a bonus

 

Perhaps things are going just as fast as they should be. We exchanged some emails today and he suggested that I should come over to his place one day to see his photos. Unfortunately, there's a lot of things going on for me in the next few weeks, mainly family obligations, plus we will see each other the next two weekends, so I'm not sure how to play this one, but I'm blushing and giddy all at the same time.

 

I have to keep reminding myself that there's no rush. If something will develop, it makes no difference if it takes a day or 3 months or however. I just need to learn to enjoy the present moment, and right now I have a crush and it feels great!

[PWSX3]

I have to keep reminding myself that there's no rush. If something will develop, it makes no difference if it takes a day or 3 months or however. I just need to learn to enjoy the present moment, and right now I have a crush and it feels great!

It is so good to hear how upbeat & excited you are. Doesn't it feel good to be nervous about a good thing?

 

Sounds like you are doing just fine, and make sure you are honest with this guy, just tell him you are busy with family & that you enjoy spending time with him but there are things coming up that you already had planned & it's nothing against him.

 

Many bunnies for Dgiirl.:bunny::bunny:

[Ladyjane14]

I'm with PW..... very excited and happy for you, hon!