Devildog Posted August 15, 2006 Share Posted August 15, 2006 DD, I did t.... Hey, what is this, I take a sabattical and suddenly you are giving my nickname away dgiirl? I see how you are. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dgiirl Posted August 15, 2006 Author Share Posted August 15, 2006 Hey (the original) DD!!!!! Where have you been? Glad to see you back Link to post Share on other sites
Devildog Posted August 15, 2006 Share Posted August 15, 2006 Been working on a big business deal with MassiveAtom actually. Been taking up alot of time. Link to post Share on other sites
Becoming Posted August 15, 2006 Share Posted August 15, 2006 They just don't have the little plastic thing to hold it all together! :lmao: Glad to hear you're happy, dg! Good for you! :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
Author dgiirl Posted August 15, 2006 Author Share Posted August 15, 2006 Been working on a big business deal with MassiveAtom actually. Been taking up alot of time. Congratulations Glad to see this forum is good for something lol Becoming, thanks So far, the move has been great for my spirit! It feels very surreal that just a month ago, I was living in a house alone with very little friends, and now I'm back home, with a beautiful view of trees and a mini skyline of buildings which is beautiful at night when all lit up, and surrounded by friends with the possibility of meeting so many new people. It's hard to imagine my old life. I lived with some dude for 8 years, and I can barely remember what life was like with him. Maybe it's old age or something. I forgetting things very easily lol Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted August 15, 2006 Share Posted August 15, 2006 Congratulations Glad to see this forum is good for something lol Becoming, thanks So far, the move has been great for my spirit! It feels very surreal that just a month ago, I was living in a house alone with very little friends, and now I'm back home, with a beautiful view of trees and a mini skyline of buildings which is beautiful at night when all lit up, and surrounded by friends with the possibility of meeting so many new people. It's hard to imagine my old life. I lived with some dude for 8 years, and I can barely remember what life was like with him. Maybe it's old age or something. I forgetting things very easily lol "Falling Back Into Your Life" aka Getting your life back. Re-embracing all the possibilities that life has to offer. its a good place to be! Link to post Share on other sites
ilmw Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 Its great to see you folks on the other side of this.. It does give some hope to us still going through this hell that... if it does'nt work out... we can survive and have a life again.. Thanks for sharing:) ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
Becoming Posted August 16, 2006 Share Posted August 16, 2006 Agree with ilmw. It's important that we share hope as well as problems or we'll come to see the problems and all the drama those bring as normal and something to just be endured until all spirit is snuffed out of us. You go, dgiirl! Link to post Share on other sites
Author dgiirl Posted August 16, 2006 Author Share Posted August 16, 2006 ilmw, it's amazing how far I've come in such a short period of time. Although it's been a hell of a year and a half, honestly, things do get back to "normal" and can be a lot better if you put your mind to it. You just have to be determined to not let this situation turn you bitter. Once you realize that you are the one in control of your happiness, things start to become better. Once you "man up", as gunny would say, and realize that life isnt always fair, but it's your responsibility to make the best of it, you become empowered to live a better life. Even if you gotta fake it in the beginning And statistically speaking, it takes about 2 years to get over a divorce, so as long as you see some progress in yourself (with a few set backs from time to time), rest assured, you'll get through this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dgiirl Posted August 22, 2006 Author Share Posted August 22, 2006 What an awesome night So I've been on this online dating site for some time, was about to give up on the whole thing when this guy messaged me After a few exchanges, he asked me out to coffee, but I was still a little hesitate. So I did something I've never done before and gave him my number. OMG, i cant believe I did that But he called me tonight! It was a little awkward at moments, but he seems like a really interesting guy. I'm quite impressed so far. He's given me his number too, so I guess it's my turn to call him next? Eeek, I'm so nervous! One problem, I havent had the chance to tell him about my divorce 95% of the guys I've chatted with, I've been upfront with and told them. I just never had the chance with this guy, and I was too chicken to do it over the phone. Anytime I talk about my divorce, I tend to tear up a little, and I didnt want to do that. Should I email him tomorrow and thank him for the phone call and tell him the situation? Or what should I do? Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 Should I email him tomorrow and thank him for the phone call and tell him the situation? Or what should I do? I'm clueless... but happy, excited, and just a little bit nervous for you. (I don't know if I really trust those "on-line" thingeys, so you be careful out there.) Link to post Share on other sites
Author dgiirl Posted August 22, 2006 Author Share Posted August 22, 2006 Thanks LJ I'm just as cautious as you are with those online thingey's. I try to find red flags in everyone. But for some reason, I just have a gut instinct he is sincere, which I dont usually have about people. I do have a red flag about him, so I'm still being my normal skeptic self, but he seems sincere even with that flag. Link to post Share on other sites
Becoming Posted August 22, 2006 Share Posted August 22, 2006 One problem, I havent had the chance to tell him about my divorce 95% of the guys I've chatted with, I've been upfront with and told them. I just never had the chance with this guy, and I was too chicken to do it over the phone. Anytime I talk about my divorce, I tend to tear up a little, and I didnt want to do that. Should I email him tomorrow and thank him for the phone call and tell him the situation? Or what should I do? Yeah, you! I agree with LJ, but this sounds like a good idea since you're concerned about tearing up. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dgiirl Posted August 23, 2006 Author Share Posted August 23, 2006 Ok, the cat is out of the bag. I told him, and he seems to be ok with it. I cannot wait until those offical papers stamped and approved get to my door!!!! Atleast then I dont have to keep telling the world I'm separated. I'm SO nervous tho. I was thinking last night, I've only "dated" like 4 guys. They all made me laugh, could be very sweet at times, but they were all pretty arrogant too. They were average looking men, typically the "nice" guy, but not needy, not clingy. They all loved to talk and be the center of attention. I've always been the follower in the relationship. And my last relationship, the one who i had the strongest attraction to, I allowed him to convince me I had issues and I needed saving. According to him, he wasted 3 years of my life because he didnt want to hurt my feelings, yet he knew he wanted a divorce. This furiates me. Yes, I had a rough childhood. Yes, I'm insecure with myself sometimes. But I am NOT broken and I do NOT need saving. When you try to save me, you end up taking away my spirit and soul. I do not want this to happen ever again. I just do not know what signs to watch out for. Link to post Share on other sites
CryingCanuck Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 WOW that's heady stuff you ask.............. My X said almost the same stuff you said, that I thought I was so much better than her because I had such a good job and treated her as if she couldn't do anything without me leading her. I never thought I was doing that, but maybe so, who knows. I'm happy you found someone on the net, and don;t worry, meet at a Tim's have a nice coffee and enjoy the meeting and don;t worry about the guy being a sicko. Yes there are some out there but they are really rare and you I bet will be able to tell from the first couple of minutes talking... You know the eyes wander, lol Anyway hope you have a great time. I've met a few online but a couple really lied ot me, especially about where they were mentally..... Seem slike when women get over 40 they want something permanent right away.... Yikes.... Not this guy.... Not yet , not anywhere near ready for that...... Anyway not much advice, hey I'm the one looking for pointers ... BTW 5 days Sans Cigarettes....................... Link to post Share on other sites
Mz. Pixie Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 Been working on a big business deal with MassiveAtom actually. Been taking up alot of time. I miss you and MA both. I wish you would post more- you two guys were some of my faves! Link to post Share on other sites
Becoming Posted August 23, 2006 Share Posted August 23, 2006 Congrats, CC, on being smoke free for 5 (or is it 6 now?) days. Woo hoo! Link to post Share on other sites
Author dgiirl Posted August 23, 2006 Author Share Posted August 23, 2006 CC, that's awesome!! Keep up the good work. And thanks for the support Yah, I'm tempted to meet him. We'll see. Funny you say that because all the guys I've talked to online seem to want a relationship too. I dont know if that's lines they just feed to girls, or if they are really tired of being single. Too bad the girls you are speaking too are not upfront with their expectations. But everyone's different, and I'm sure you'll find the right one when you are ready. Hopefully, me too Link to post Share on other sites
CryingCanuck Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 I'll always be here waiting for you if you ever need an OLD FART like me hehe And yes I never smoked until I got engaged to my HEX and I've stopped many times only to start again, as cigarettes were always around and I hated kissing an ashtray so gave in and eventually started up again........ Not this time.............. If I stay stopped for 6 weeks I bet I'm out of the woods and I'll not date anyone who does smoke.... On my home front...... My Hex has been making money noise recently and yesterday I spoke to my lawyer about our Separation Agreement, he was surprised that I didn't insist on any child support since both boys live with me and they are both still in school and he if my HEX tries to change the Sep agreement that it might bite her right back in the butt. Been nearly a month since she's been gone, we have spoken a few times but I'm starting to REALLY accept that we're through and really, based on our history ( or hers actually) I'd be a fool to take her back.... I can do without the frustration, hurt and anger she has helped me feel. Now I'm stealing your thread D, sorry..... nobody respond to this please.... Just venting a bit. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 I try and take "negative" things such as divorce and "flip" them into positives. One of the good things is that now you've got a much clearer picture of what you want and are lookig for and what you don't want, and aren't looking for!" Start out slow. Have a coffee date, limit it to about an hour, (Hey! I've got a life) Ask such preliminary questions such as: "Have you ever been in prison?" "Have you been in a mental institution?" "Are you into the SMBD scene? "Do you have any sexual fantasies involving clowns and dancing bears?" You know, just keep light and conversational!Nothing too heavy! Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 I'd ask you out, but here in Alabama ~ you'd melt! Heat index hit 110 yesterday! And, its not even gotten hot yet! LOL~! One of the Mexicans, that work at the plant was complaining about how hot it was! Link to post Share on other sites
Author dgiirl Posted August 24, 2006 Author Share Posted August 24, 2006 CC, my thread is your thread anytime! Love the word Hex lol Ask such preliminary questions such as: "Have you ever been in prison?" "Have you been in a mental institution?" "Are you into the SMBD scene? "Do you have any sexual fantasies involving clowns and dancing bears?" You know, just keep light and conversational!Nothing too heavy! lol I already asked the "Are you married?" question He laughed and answered no. And then he added, I'm not married, nor even seeing anyone. So bonus points for giving more info than needed Link to post Share on other sites
Becoming Posted August 24, 2006 Share Posted August 24, 2006 I try and take "negative" things such as divorce and "flip" them into positives. One of the good things is that now you've got a much clearer picture of what you want and are lookig for and what you don't want, and aren't looking for!" Start out slow. Have a coffee date, limit it to about an hour, (Hey! I've got a life) Ask such preliminary questions such as: "Have you ever been in prison?" "Have you been in a mental institution?" "Are you into the SMBD scene? "Do you have any sexual fantasies involving clowns and dancing bears?" You know, just keep light and conversational!Nothing too heavy! :lmao: Great questions, Gunny. Love the bears and clowns one best. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dgiirl Posted August 28, 2006 Author Share Posted August 28, 2006 So we've talked on the phone 3 times now, and about an hour each session, and the time goes extremely fast. He's very interesting, very funny and upbeat. I'm totally infatuated with him right now and I hope the chemistry is there when we meet for coffee soon. I'm really nervous and scared about the whole thing. It's hard to explain but I know I never want to be in my past relationship, but I also know there's still some pain that needs to be processed. I've taken quite a lot of time just to be by myself, and I'm actually really happy being alone, so I know I'm not desperate for another relationship, but I would like one. Now that he knows about my situation, there's been a few questions, and I'm scared that as I answer them, he'll see that I'm not 100% healed. I dont want to end up in a rebound relationship, and question if I'm ready to date yet? I've been extremely cautious throughout this whole 1.5 years, havent jumped into anything too quickly, and try hard to work through my issues. After going through a breakup, should you be 100% healed b4 you start dating again? Or is 95% ok, and the remaining healing can only take place when you actually start dating again? Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 I've been extremely cautious throughout this whole 1.5 years, havent jumped into anything too quickly, and try hard to work through my issues. After going through a breakup, should you be 100% healed b4 you start dating again? Or is 95% ok, and the remaining healing can only take place when you actually start dating again? Haven't got a clue, hon. But I imagine if you keep it light and try to just have fun with it for awhile.... you'll do alright. :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
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