magichands Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 Hey I haven't read your whole thread cause it's really long but... I know what you mean... this is supposed to be a chapter - not a frickin' novel. I might just wait until it comes out in paperback. Link to post Share on other sites
princessa Posted January 10, 2007 Share Posted January 10, 2007 I know what you mean... this is supposed to be a chapter - not a frickin' novel. I might just wait until it comes out in paperback. Hahaha foreal Link to post Share on other sites
Author dgiirl Posted January 19, 2007 Author Share Posted January 19, 2007 I am now officially SINGLE!!!!!!!! Who's taking me out for dinner? lol I finally received my divorce certificate in the mail today. It shook me for a minute, I started to cry, but I bounced back really quickly. I went shopping, didnt find anything I liked, but still went out Then I got take out and the girl gave me an extra set of fries. The universe is rewarding me I know the upcoming weeks will be hard for me. I've been thinking a lot about the past lately. It doesnt help when I noticed asshat's been spying on my website and yet hasnt made any attempt at contact. Refocus refocus refocus. Life was good. Life will be good again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dgiirl Posted January 19, 2007 Author Share Posted January 19, 2007 I know what you mean... this is supposed to be a chapter - not a frickin' novel. I might just wait until it comes out in paperback. :lmao: I just read this. You want cliff notes? Asshat has lunch with his assistant three times who's only a "friend" then comes home on valentines day at 9pm! says he wants a divorce, moves out the very next day and completely abandons me and all his responsibilities. 1.5 years later, finally paper work for divorce is done and house is sold allowing me to move back home but since I havent been back home in 9 years it's like a new city. It's far away from asshat, and I start to live a new happy single life surrounded by my family, old friends and making new friends along the way. It's like an episode from sex in the city but no sex (yet... i hope) Link to post Share on other sites
Dad_of_3 Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 :lmao: I just read this. You want cliff notes? Asshat has lunch with his assistant three times who's only a "friend" then comes home on valentines day at 9pm! says he wants a divorce, moves out the very next day and completely abandons me and all his responsibilities. 1.5 years later, finally paper work for divorce is done and house is sold allowing me to move back home but since I havent been back home in 9 years it's like a new city. It's far away from asshat, and I start to live a new happy single life surrounded by my family, old friends and making new friends along the way. It's like an episode from sex in the city but no sex (yet... i hope) Well this thread took an interesting turn. Dont let me stop you from continuing ................... no seriously dont let me stop you :lmao::lmao: Just kidding dgiirl Link to post Share on other sites
ilmw Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 Well this thread took an interesting turn. Dont let me stop you from continuing ................... no seriously dont let me stop you :lmao::lmao: Just kidding dgiirl :lmao: ...nice one Do3 Dgiirl.... I think if you got over your shyness... you would have no problems meeting mister right.. We have been conversing here (LS) for many moons... and I have found you to be .... well simply amazing... If you can externalize... what you think and feel... like you do on here.. you should have no problem... Not sure if you are looking right now... sounds like you still are hurting from the Divorce ... understandable.. When betrayed... it can take quite some time to ... well trust your heart to someone new.... I know I am not saying anything new here... Link to post Share on other sites
Author dgiirl Posted January 19, 2007 Author Share Posted January 19, 2007 ilmw, thank you so much for those kind words I am definitely working on my shyness, but I am as honest in person as I am online here Although I am still hurting over the divorce, I've reached a point where the pain is natural. It's not as intense as it was, it doesnt preoccupy my mind as it use too. It's just a little tug in the heart once in a while of an event in my past. But it doesnt occupy my mind, it doesnt define me. I can say that I'm MORE ready to date now than I ever have been. I'm just no longer interested in dating. I'm not desperately seeking a life companion. I'm not desperately seeking to accomplish my life goals of marriage/kids. I dont have myself on a timeline. I'm trying to come to peace with the way my life currently is, and for the majority of time, I am. And to ADD to my good karma this week, i JUST got a job offer at a new company. OMG the position sounds like heaven, they are _very_ impressed with me and are willing to give me exactly what I wanted in salary, benefits, social life, career growth. Everything and anything that would make me happy at a new company they are providing. I am ecstatic!! It'll get me out of the house, mingle with people, have collegues with good experience, room for growth. I'm very excited about the whole thing Link to post Share on other sites
ilmw Posted January 19, 2007 Share Posted January 19, 2007 ilmw, thank you so much for those kind words I am definitely working on my shyness, but I am as honest in person as I am online here Although I am still hurting over the divorce, I've reached a point where the pain is natural. It's not as intense as it was, it doesnt preoccupy my mind as it use too. It's just a little tug in the heart once in a while of an event in my past. But it doesnt occupy my mind, it doesnt define me. I can say that I'm MORE ready to date now than I ever have been. I'm just no longer interested in dating. I'm not desperately seeking a life companion. I'm not desperately seeking to accomplish my life goals of marriage/kids. I dont have myself on a timeline. I'm trying to come to peace with the way my life currently is, and for the majority of time, I am. And to ADD to my good karma this week, i JUST got a job offer at a new company. OMG the position sounds like heaven, they are _very_ impressed with me and are willing to give me exactly what I wanted in salary, benefits, social life, career growth. Everything and anything that would make me happy at a new company they are providing. I am ecstatic!! It'll get me out of the house, mingle with people, have collegues with good experience, room for growth. I'm very excited about the whole thing Thats awsome Dgiirl.... it could be just what the Doctor ordered.... Link to post Share on other sites
polywog Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 Just read some of your thread, dgirl... Am SO HAPPY for you! It recalls the time 10 years ago when I went through a divorce. I came out strong on the other side of h**l much to my surprise, and had similar things happen for me. I had thought I'd met my soul-mate (maybe I did but soulmate-shlolmate), in a very youthful-thinking way, and was a mess for a couple years when it ended (he remarried almost immediately, ugh, tho when I talked to his wife once he had all the same crap going on;) ). Anyhow, it makes me happy to see this oh-so-fab karmic wave that you are obviously on.... go dgirl, go! u inpire me right now! polywog, who can't wait for the same thing to happen for herself this time around Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 And to ADD to my good karma this week, i JUST got a job offer at a new company. OMG the position sounds like heaven, they are _very_ impressed with me and are willing to give me exactly what I wanted in salary, benefits, social life, career growth. Everything and anything that would make me happy at a new company they are providing. I am ecstatic!! It'll get me out of the house, mingle with people, have collegues with good experience, room for growth. I'm very excited about the whole thing Dgiirl, this is awesome news and I wish you the best. (where is that big thumbs up smilie:laugh:) Just like they say, things happen for a reason and I truly believe that. Please keep us up to date and I know this kid is pulling for ya!!! Link to post Share on other sites
mum2three Posted January 20, 2007 Share Posted January 20, 2007 Wonderful news on your job sitch. Maybe all the working on yourself is paying off. Just enjoy life and thanks for ur support. I think a life companion is a good goal but you need to make yourself available. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dgiirl Posted January 20, 2007 Author Share Posted January 20, 2007 Just read some of your thread, dgirl... Am SO HAPPY for you! It recalls the time 10 years ago when I went through a divorce. I came out strong on the other side of h**l much to my surprise, and had similar things happen for me. ... polywog, who can't wait for the same thing to happen for herself this time around Thanks polywog Surprisingly, things have been pretty good since the ex left. I seriously thought the sky would fall and I wouldnt be able to live on my own. I was thinking such rediculous things, but it goes to show you how dependent i was on my ex and how much strength we have in ourselves to break free from that dependencey. I also strongly believe that your life is as good as what you focus on. If you focus on positive energy, you will notice it a lot more than the negative energy. Wonderful news on your job sitch. Maybe all the working on yourself is paying off. Just enjoy life and thanks for ur support. I think a life companion is a good goal but you need to make yourself available. Thank you!! I'm really excited about this new job offer. Also, a life companion is a want but it's definitely not a need. I'm not sure if it's a goal that one can focus on, or if it's something that just happens when you're ready. Interesting question Just like they say, things happen for a reason and I truly believe that. To be honest with you, I do think this happened for a reason. I just got my final divorce papers the day before this job offer. And my current soon to be old job is still a link and reminder to my past. So this is one more step towards a fresh new start. :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
ilmw Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 Thanks polywog Surprisingly, things have been pretty good since the ex left. I seriously thought the sky would fall and I wouldnt be able to live on my own. I was thinking such rediculous things, but it goes to show you how dependent i was on my ex and how much strength we have in ourselves to break free from that dependencey. I also strongly believe that your life is as good as what you focus on. If you focus on positive energy, you will notice it a lot more than the negative energy. Thank you!! I'm really excited about this new job offer. Also, a life companion is a want but it's definitely not a need. I'm not sure if it's a goal that one can focus on, or if it's something that just happens when you're ready. Interesting question To be honest with you, I do think this happened for a reason. I just got my final divorce papers the day before this job offer. And my current soon to be old job is still a link and reminder to my past. So this is one more step towards a fresh new start. :bunny: To sum it up: Simply Awsome ":bunny: :bunny: "... Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted January 21, 2007 Share Posted January 21, 2007 I don't believe necessarly any of this is your faith, karma, nor even your destinty ~ it is and its not ~ but a lot of it is YOU! Regardless of wheather you sat down with pen in hand and plotted out and operational plan for your life post-divorce, what you did do was to take action and took responsibility in re-claiming your life, and for falling back into your life. Reach around like you got a really bad itch on your should blade and give yourself a big pat on the back. Then wrap both your arms around yourself and give yourself a big old hug! You've earned it and deserved it. I espeically liked where you've said your focused has changed, and that finding a husband isn't necessarly a top priorty right now. It shows me that you've evolved from this mentalilty that you've got to be married, that you've got to have a husband, boyfriend, man in your life. Women (and vice versa for men) need a man about as much as a fish needs a bycycle?! Good job Dgril, keep on keeping on! :bunny: :bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
Author dgiirl Posted January 31, 2007 Author Share Posted January 31, 2007 I'm having a rough time right now. I stumbled across some information that confirms my ex is now living with this ow. I know I wasnt guillable to believe him when he said she was just a friend, but hearing this news just removes that final piece of doubt. He LIED to me. And I was simply removed from his life and replaced. It just doesnt seem fair, not that life is ever fair, but it's NOT fair. He dumps ship with me and just jumps into this new relationship. And it's been two years, so things must be going good if they're still together I'm jealous that he's living my dream. I'm the one who respected our relationship a lot more than he did. I'm the one who respected marriage a lot more than he did. I'm the one who believes in romance and love and partnership. I'm the one who's recovered from a very painful experience and am trying my best to move on and yet here he is living the little family life with the new gf and I'm still single. Yah I'm having a little pity party for myself, I just feel damaged. Yes, I've come a long way in my own independence and become self sufficient, but I just dont think I'm relationship material. I do want a relationship, I'm just not eager to jump right back into one so soon, but I keep fearing that I'll have no second chance for love. Guys show interest and I feel nothing. I dont have any _desire_ to be with anyone. The thought of opening myself up to someone again scares me. And I wont open myself up to anyone I dont feel anything for, and yet maybe if I dont open myself up, I wont feel anything? The next two weeks are going to be tough. Last year, for valentines day, I bought myself some presents. This year, I have no clue what to do. I need to do something for myself! I had made a promise to myself to never depend on someone else again to celebrate valentines day and to never have a crappy valentines day again. I just dont know what to do I think this year is a lot harder than last year. Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 Two words. Glass dildo. Link to post Share on other sites
Author dgiirl Posted January 31, 2007 Author Share Posted January 31, 2007 Two words. Glass dildo. I have better words, silver bullet But neither is going to make me feel better right now Link to post Share on other sites
magichands Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 I have better words, silver bullet But neither is going to make me feel better right now Maybe you're not using it right. Link to post Share on other sites
CryingCanuck Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 Simply, Hallmark Card and your local rip you off florist day......Let it go... Just another date on the calendar sweetheart just another day. Yes finding out your intuition was correct doesn't make it better just makes your intuition good. remember this Dgirl and I'm a firm believer of this sweetie, waht goes around comes around...... Not to wish bad things on someone, but eventually someone that does mean and bad things to another has the same thing happen to them... CC Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted January 31, 2007 Share Posted January 31, 2007 I'm jealous that he's living my dream. Sweetie.. unless your "dream" was living with an adulterer, neither one of those two are living your dream. Cream rises to the top. And you, my dear, have risen above the chaos. Think about it this way... People can't help but be who they are, just like the story of the fox and the scorpion. It may take many years... but eventually those two will show their true nature. They didn't win. YOU did. Link to post Share on other sites
PWSX3 Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 Simply, Hallmark Card and your local rip you off florist day......Let it go... Just another date on the calendar sweetheart just another day. Agree X2 Yes finding out your intuition was correct doesn't make it better just makes your intuition good. remember this Dgirl and I'm a firm believer of this sweetie, what goes around comes around...... Not to wish bad things on someone, but eventually someone that does mean and bad things to another has the same thing happen to them... CC Dgiirl you are SO MUCH better then your X and CC is right, he will get what he deserves in time. You have explained all the things that someone has to do in a marriage to make it work and you did your best, and he didn't do any of that so his time will come. From a 6'3" 210 huggible guy. (((((((((-Dgiirl-)))))))))) That's the best I can do from way over here! Link to post Share on other sites
ilmw Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 I'm gonna second with CC... it is just another day... That is how I am going to handle it.... and... LJ.. you are so right... I don't know many couples that started off as cheaters that are still together.... Jeeezz... my ex..(i was with 2.5 yrs before DW) she cheated and and tore my heart out... and basically kicked my arse to the curb after over 6 yrs together. Last I heard... she is miserable... has 2 kids... and told my parents... she had made a terrible mistake... 10 years after the fact... I know of more examples... but you get the idea.... what goes around does sometimes come around..... So buck up little camper... put a smile on your face.... take a deep breath... and whistle a happy tune........... You get the idea. Thinking of you...:bunny: ilmw Link to post Share on other sites
CryingCanuck Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 There was once this movie called sleepless in Seattle, had to do with ohh hell you guys know the story...... Fast forward, it's February 14th 2007......... Dgirl, wearing a red turtleneck sweater, with a matching red scarf and a red tuque sits at the top of the CN tower right at the BIG plexiglass window on the floor....... (anyone knowing Toronto knows where it is....) ILMW not in uniform mind you ( unless he REALLY wants to impress her) .......... wearing a red flower on his lapel carrying a red rose goes over and introduces himself to the beautiful Dgirl and they have a lovely afternoon (yes the time is set for 12:00 noon) not midnight so don't get any ideas guys..... I regress, they go to their local Tim Horton's for a coffee and chat about their lives........ Whatever happens after that is called fate, kizmet, or whatever just don't blame me....... I'm no matchmaker I thought it was just a neat idea to take Dgirls mind off the date, and you're closest.... ILMW :-) CC Link to post Share on other sites
Author dgiirl Posted February 1, 2007 Author Share Posted February 1, 2007 Sweetie.. unless your "dream" was living with an adulterer, neither one of those two are living your dream. Cream rises to the top. And you, my dear, have risen above the chaos. Think about it this way... People can't help but be who they are, just like the story of the fox and the scorpion. It may take many years... but eventually those two will show their true nature. They didn't win. YOU did. LJ, you have such a way with words. And such a way of looking at the situation and stating the truth. I appreciate this! CC, PW, ILMW, Thanks so much for all those comments and stories. You definitely put a smile on my face. Valentines day is not just another day for me. And it's not really associated with "Lovers" anymore. I've never celebrated valentines day romantically. It's the day that I realized how much I sacrificed in this marriage, how little I accepted from my marriage, how little I was a priority in this marriage, from him and I. The fact that he did this on valentines day didnt surprise me. It was typical of him! We never celebrated valentines day. I tried to accept it as much as I could, but I was always sad by this fact but I loved him and I put up with it. I'd see other couples doing things, and I wished that was us, but he never believed in valentines day so I let it go. Other's would question us, thinking it was weird that we didnt celebrate just a little that day, and I always _defended_ him. And I realized that I defended him in a LOT of things. I asked him why he did this on valentines day and his response was "I didnt realize what day it was". He spent the WHOLE day at his parents (or so the story goes) and then came home at 9pm to drop the dbomb. It was so typical. I realized I was NEVER a priority in this marriage. How hard would it have been to have simply waited one day? How hard would it have been to say "Hey I dont believe in valentines day, but it's something that makes her happy, so I wont mess with that day". It was always him first. And the few times I wanted to be first, he'd make me feel guilty. This day marks my awakening. I need to put myself as a priority. I wont depend on others for making my day's special. Whether it's valentines day or just another day. I wont depend on others anymore. If I want the cheesy stuff that comes with valentines day, I can give it to myself. This is my way of taking control over my happiness. Link to post Share on other sites
debilou Posted February 1, 2007 Share Posted February 1, 2007 I feel ya ... I was never the priority in my marriage. I wonder WHY did he marry me, so no one else could have me? That's how it seems now. You have to remember, keep reminding yourself that the person he is ISN'T worthy of your gifts, strengths, integrity. This current relationship that seems to be so perfectly perfect isn't and it won't last. Even if it does last they're NOT content the way you think they are. Remember Dr. Phil's famous quote: If they'll do it with ya they'll do it to ya. That's it in a nut shell. I understand where you're coming from about seeking a mate. I have lost faith and trust in this ole world. I believe I may gain it back but right now I'm just really cynical. We'll get thru this together. All of us here on LS ! ! ! You're doing great compared to what a year ago? I know I am. And the job...great going! Keep posting! Debilou Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts