becoming daunted by girls

[J Lambert]

recently im starting to become more intimidated by the opposite sex. as time goes on, the fact that i am 18, never hugged a girl(apart from formally or family) or kissed or held hands, and the fact that I always come within 20 seconds of pumping my penis with my hand(i always have to take it really slow and be careful about touching the head if i want it to last longer). i have a 4.8 inch erect penis and this means i can only move my hips in and out so far, and i cant penetrate very deeply. also i think women would be less pleasured. http://www.google.com.br/search?q=tighter+vagina

 

this morning i was watching this clip, it wasnt even staged, it was an actual real orgy, mostly they just say it is real but this one actually was. they were all having so much fun, so care-free. i could see the girls smiling and everyone having so much pleasure. i got this sinking feeling in my stomach. everything there was so alive. the girls were loving it. i was jealous of the guys, they could thrust their hips such a farther range of motion than i could ever. i get this realization sometimes when im watching porn and fantasizing. its like, "you do know, this isnt actually a fantasy". in other words, there is a real guy in that porno. he is actually having sex with that girl, through his own eyes. and as well as that, out there in the world, there are people actually having sex with people they like.

 

i like girls. but they really know how to torture guys. nowadays sex is much more open and this is great, but it really hits the losers even harder. when im with a group and often a guy and his girl talk about it freely. i saw this one girl i know shes really pretty, cute and hot and she had this description of herself descriptions like "like chocolate" and "getting drunk with the girls" and one of them was "always horny". more accurately "always horny for guys not like you"

 

porn and jacking off is like im damned if i do and damned if i dont. i wish one the girls which i was interested in(which is about 1/5 of my age group) would ever return feelings. one thing im kind of scared of is going through my life only ever having one partner, the one i marry. its a really nightmare thought for me.

 

and i hope some f***ing idiot doesnt say something dumb like "dude your young, enjoy life. drink, do sports. sex isnt important" or try to disguise that by saying "sex isn't everything"(nothing is everything). obviously you have a lower drive for the opposite sex than i do. but i honestly fail exams because my mind wanders into a dream world. and i cannot help this, i just like the opposite sex. i guess at my age i shouldnt want girls? i cant make myself not want food to live, and i can't make myself not want a girl. if i didnt have the gene for wanting to bond i wouldnt exist, because my parents wouldnt have had it either.

 

i think one day im going to stop going out. i wont bother trying to chat to girls. and dont think i act desperate when talking to girls because i don't. i will let some other guy take her. they can both pleasure each other and have a great time. ill just imagine a girl, jack myself off in my bed. i can play video games on my own. i can play sports, go out and socialise with friends. and then, guess what? watch guys who i play sports with and socialise with go home with their girlfriends.

 

honestly i am getting bored with life.

[Yamaha]

Then you must change it. Being jealous of guys because they are having success with women will not get you a gal. You must get your feet wet and start having fun. It is fun to flirt with women and they like to flirt with guys. You are making it to much work. Getting to know women is fun. If you act like your having fun they will want to be with you. If you sit there and feel sorry for yourself then you will be alone. It is your job to approach women. Even in this day most women will not approach a guy so you must get over your fears and take the plunge. It is the way it is so step up to the plate and enjoy being a man.

[J Lambert]

Then you must change it. Being jealous of guys because they are having success with women will not get you a gal. You must get your feet wet and start having fun. It is fun to flirt with women and they like to flirt with guys. You are making it to much work. Getting to know women is fun. If you act like your having fun they will want to be with you. If you sit there and feel sorry for yourself then you will be alone. It is your job to approach women. Even in this day most women will not approach a guy so you must get over your fears and take the plunge. It is the way it is so step up to the plate and enjoy being a man.

 

why didn't you read my post? i wrote that i try to chat up girls i DO approach girls. and no i dont look sorry for myself. but i have never had any interest returned from a girl i approached, ive always been rejected and things still arent changing.

[alphamale]

but i have never had any interest returned from a girl i approached, ive always been rejected and things still arent changing.

dude...most 18 year olds don't know diddly about themselves let alone the opposite sex. you'll learn as you grow older and get more experience. chill out

[J Lambert]

dude...most 18 year olds don't know diddly about themselves let alone the opposite sex. you'll learn as you grow older and get more experience. chill out

WTF? what the f*** does that mean, i want sex with a girl that i am interested in sex with. a lot of my friends get this. and im coming into the age where theres a lot of careless sexual fun which is what i want. i do not want to miss out on this and just get a long term relationship. i dont give a s*** about learning right and wrong if this is what you are talking about.

 

and how the f*** i "get experience" without GETTING EXPERIENCE? your logic is f***ing confusing.

 

as far as i am concerned, IM NOT INTERESTED IF IT CANNOT BE EXPLAINED LOGICALLY. so EXPLAIN THE MEANING OF YOUR POST IN LOGICAL WORDS.

 

no i dont want to wait and suffer another 720 days of losin out. 720 days has like 18 hours of awake time in it. thats a lot of f***ing time. at least im not in jail although i dont feel more priveleged then a lot of my more working class friends who arent in jail. chewin ice, cold showers and bangin my fist off stuff only does so much. likewise distracting myself with activity and also masturbation doenst work.

 

im probably shoutin. thats coz its agitatin 2 c ppl say in this guru tone.

[norajane]

You need to work on developing more self-confidence - that attracts women and a lack of it repels them. You say you don't want advice about getting involved in activities, sports, your studies...but you should, because the smarter/stronger/more interesting person you are, the more self-confidence you will have and the more attractive you will become to women.

 

You should also do some reading on the internet about how to please women during sex. Instead of taking your cues from porn, you'd learn that women's pleasure center is the clitoris. Very few women come from penetration alone, so no matter what size your penis is or what range of motion you can achieve, going deep isn't going to give a woman an orgasm. If you can give a woman orgasms via oral or with your fingers, she's going to be very satisfied sexually.

 

A shorter penis might have more luck stimulating her g-spot as well. Shallow, quick strokes stimulated the g-spot much better than long, deep ones. You can also stimulate her g-spot with your fingers.

 

Learn about cunnilingus and the clitoris and foreplay. Gain some confidence that you CAN please a woman. And if you do some reading, you'll find a majority of women (not porn actresses) care much, much less about penis size than they do about the man the penis belongs to. Romance outside the bedroom also goes a lot further than deep thrust/pound pound pound with a big cock.

[Ross_K]

I'm in the same situation as you dude. Only I'm 30 years old. I find hearing people talking about their sex lives or watching things like 'real' sex or orgys to be extremley emotionally painful.

[J Lambert]

You need to work on developing more self-confidence - that attracts women and a lack of it repels them. You say you don't want advice about getting involved in activities, sports, your studies...but you should, because the smarter/stronger/more interesting person you are, the more self-confidence you will have and the more attractive you will become to women.

read post properly please. i AM involved in activities. and playing a sport doesn't make you think you are good with women and anyway it makes no difference. when i approach women i am in the proper confident mindset and i try and have fun. but it doesnt work. theres no way i have heard of of becoming good at instantly coming up with dialogue that suits situation naturally. in other words, ill fake it till i make it if it needs be, but don't be a hypocrite and tell me to be myself and have natural conversation, because i am naturally very quiet. not shy just quiet but im starting to get more discouraged. i am not a talker although i am here because i have to explain.

 

You should also do some reading on the internet about how to please women during sex. Instead of taking your cues from porn, you'd learn that women's pleasure center is the clitoris. Very few women come from penetration alone, so no matter what size your penis is or what range of motion you can achieve, going deep isn't going to give a woman an orgasm. If you can give a woman orgasms via oral or with your fingers, she's going to be very satisfied sexually.

 

A shorter penis might have more luck stimulating her g-spot as well. Shallow, quick strokes stimulated the g-spot much better than long, deep ones. You can also stimulate her g-spot with your fingers.

 

Learn about cunnilingus and the clitoris and foreplay. Gain some confidence that you CAN please a woman. And if you do some reading, you'll find a majority of women (not porn actresses) care much, much less about penis size than they do about the man the penis belongs to.

first of all im not interested in a debate about this s*** ive seen it happen, it goes round in circles. i have read about it and the fact is it does make a large difference, and it makes difference to me. i cant imagine jacking off properly without pumping my penis. i don't get turned on by watching the part of a porno when the guy touches and licks a girls pussy. but im not interested in a debate on penis size. it seems the only time when it doesnt matter is when its specifically brought up. so please dont annoy me with comforting cliches.

 

and anyway MORE IMPORTANTLY, you chose to put a large part of your post about this

i have a 4.8 inch erect penis and this means i can only move my hips in and out so far, and i cant penetrate very deeply. also i think women would be less pleasured.

when i clearly only dedicated 1/3 of the section on women being less pleasured. i myself count as well and my idea/fantasy of pleasure is holding a woman with my penis inside her, feeling her body, and f***ing her with a few different positions. i honestly think pleasure has to be mutual otherwise i would f*** off anyway.

 

Romance outside the bedroom also goes a lot further than deep thrust/pound pound pound with a big cock.

i already told you i want to be involved in carefree sexual fun with women that i genuinely want to have sexual relationship with. yeah romance would be nice also but by that i mean nonverbal romance. the fact is im past the stage of young asexual puppy-love romances. i regret missing out on this when i was younger and more immature but really im not interested in that now.

[norajane]

read post properly please. i AM involved in activities. and playing a sport doesn't make you think you are good with women and anyway it makes no difference. when i approach women i am in the proper confident mindset and i try and have fun. but it doesnt work. theres no way i have heard of of becoming good at instantly coming up with dialogue that suits situation naturally. in other words, ill fake it till i make it if it needs be, but don't be a hypocrite and tell me to be myself and have natural conversation, because i am naturally very quiet. not shy just quiet but im starting to get more discouraged. i am not a talker although i am here because i have to explain.

You misunderstood. I didn't say sports/activities was going to make you think you're good with women. Being involved in activities makes you a more interesting person; and success in other areas such as sports, makes you more confident about yourself and your abilities as a person. You need to feel confident that you are a terrific person in order to have that confidence come across to women so they are attracted. Your current view of yourself as a loser (your word, not mine) is what is preventing you from success with women.

 

first of all im not interested in a debate about this s*** ive seen it happen, it goes round in circles. i have read about it and the fact is it does make a large difference, and it makes difference to me. i cant imagine jacking off properly without pumping my penis. i don't get turned on by watching the part of a porno when the guy touches and licks a girls pussy. but im not interested in a debate on penis size. it seems the only time when it doesnt matter is when its specifically brought up. so please dont annoy me with comforting cliches.

I did not discuss size to start a debate nor to comfort you. I brought it up to make the point that women's sexual pleasure is not focused on your penis, but on her clitoris. If you are self-conscious about your penis size (and you are), believe me, that comes across to women as lack of confidence in youself. Become good at giving her orgasms and you will be the kind of lover every woman wants, which should give you all the confidence you need with women.

 

If you're not turned on by giving a woman oral or touching her clit, you are going to have problems pleasing women sexually. You've never been near one, so perhaps you might be surprised how much you do like when there's a real woman in front of you and it's not just some actors and actresses you're watching.

 

and anyway MORE IMPORTANTLY, you chose to put a large part of your post about this when i clearly only dedicated 1/3 of the section on women being less pleasured. i myself count as well and my idea/fantasy of pleasure is holding a woman with my penis inside her, feeling her body, and f***ing her with a few different positions. i honestly think pleasure has to be mutual otherwise i would f*** off anyway.

The larger part of my post was about telling you what pleases a woman sexually. Do that and you needn't worry - you'll get yours.

 

i already told you i want to be involved in carefree sexual fun with women that i genuinely want to have sexual relationship with. yeah romance would be nice also but by that i mean nonverbal romance. the fact is im past the stage of young asexual puppy-love romances. i regret missing out on this when i was younger and more immature but really im not interested in that now.

Romance outside the bedroom is a form of foreplay. Flirting, teasing, making her feel special - that's what I mean by romance. Be as carefree as you like, but you are still going to have to gain her interest and desire, and that won't happen if you do nothing.

[IrishCarBomb]

Hahahaha.... so glad I'm not 18 anymore.

 

LOGIC?!? YOU THINK LOGIC WILL LEAD TO SUCCESS WITH WOMEN? Open your eyes. The logical answer is that you don't understand a dam thing.

 

Don't like my cliche response? Too bad. Conventional wisdom is around because it's right.

 

My advice? Therapy. Anger and women issues are nobody's friend.

[alphamale]

WTF? what the f*** does that mean, i want sex with a girl that i am interested in sex with. a lot of my friends get this. and im coming into the age where theres a lot of careless sexual fun which is what i want. i do not want to miss out on this and just get a long term relationship. i dont give a s*** about learning right and wrong if this is what you are talking about.

 

and how the f*** i "get experience" without GETTING EXPERIENCE? your logic is f***ing confusing.

 

as far as i am concerned, IM NOT INTERESTED IF IT CANNOT BE EXPLAINED LOGICALLY. so EXPLAIN THE MEANING OF YOUR POST IN LOGICAL WORDS.

jesus h christ

[johan]

Sounds like you're doing all the right things. As long as that's what you're doing, then the only thing you can do is be patient. It isn't just going to happen because you want it to. It isn't just going to happen because you happen to be social and hit on women. Sometimes you just have to hang in there and get comfortable. Outside of getting a prostitute or raping someone, you have no choice but to wait.

 

All this anger you're venting here is probably there with you in the rest of your life. I think you need to make fixing that your primary focus. Having no sex is not your biggest problem.

[alphamale]

Sounds like you're doing all the right things. As long as that's what you're doing, then the only thing you can do is be patient. It isn't just going to happen because you want it to. It isn't just going to happen because you happen to be social and hit on women. Sometimes you just have to hang in there and get comfortable.

right JOHAN...thats what I was trying to tell him.

[Bogun]

You need some maturity lambert. Based on your posts you sound like a horny 13 year old with wild fantasies about meaningless sex, rather than just the average horny 18 year old.

 

The way you talk about sex and women, it sounds like you see it as simply a way to get yourself off, rather than it being the physically intimate part of a relationship. So forget about the sex part for the moment, because your approach to this is making you sound very unattractive, and concentrate on getting a girl to simply enjoy being around you and the sex will follow.

[Mary3]

OP : Whats wrong with masterbation ? Even in a great relationship getting sex 2 times a day, I still like to play.....so chill

 

You come off as pissed off. We don't like guys who carry around anger issues. What are you so pissed about ?

 

Lack of sex can make you antsy. But dude, get nice and get real to get LAID

 

Okay ?

[J Lambert]

Hahahaha.... so glad I'm not 18 anymore.

in other words you missed out on sexual pleasure and interaction also. well newsflash there are guys out there who arent missing out, and some of them are total dickheads who traumatized other males when younger. they are the winners because they win. and don't give me some stereotype that they will be cleaning the pools of guys they traumatized, because really there is no documented relation between bullying behaviour in younger life, and lack of success in older life(if there is post a link). this is another "conventional wisdom". i am not here to be f***ing trampled on i want soem of the action as well.

 

what is it that they do that gets them laid. everything else seems to be analyzed, so why hasnt this been analyzed?

 

they say "be yourself" yet another conventoinal wisdom bulls***. being myself is being quiet, or saying how i feel. so i go up to girl and say "i am sexually attracted to your body and face i would like to make love to you". no they do SOMETHING ELSE. what the f*** is it that they SAY?????? and dont say its ALL about the way they walk because they wouldnt get by without opening their mouths would they? they know what to say when. WHY DO THEY KNOW THIS?

 

im starting to get the feeling that they had an easy and natural progression into being able to know how this when they were young. and thats why they can flirt and naturally get girls. obviously this is just speculation and i havent seen any evidence so i am not sure but i cant see other reason. like this guy i used to know although i didnt actually konw him as a friend. he was a bully when younger, made lives of the nerds(i was never nerd, just quiet) and weak people fairly s*** and basically made them crawl into a hole. felt kind of sorry for them, and at least im not as bad as them.

 

he was good with the girls always. and this is true nowadays also, in fact even more so because he gets regularly laid. on top of that hes naturally good with f***in studying also and getting well above average points. theres this conventional stereotype that the bullies will "clean the nerds pools when older", but i havent seen any higher percentage of underachievers in former bully category than the non former-bully category. so basically, there doesnt seem to be any relation. just like another "conventional wisdom" bulls***.

 

if the bad guy(not "bad boy") and sexual success are related(as i hear many whines), then i kind of wish i had been a bully when i was younger. maybe ill make sure my son is a bully. empathy is overrated.

 

The logical answer is that you don't understand a dam thing.

explain what i don't understand. specifically.

 

Don't like my cliche response? Too bad. Conventional wisdom is around because it's right.

 

actually, you are wrong sorry. "Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age eighteen." - Albert Einstein

 

hell most people STILL say "conventional wisdom"(I.E. bulls***) like "wrap up well you will catch a cold". they basically hear something from a lot of sources and therefore it must be right. conventional wisdom is mostly just s*** everyone believes, often with no scientific basis just a little subjective observation. this is why i don't restrict myself with religion or morals or what my parents, teachers and society say about right and wrong.

 

i may be less mature than you but you yourself lack "wisdom" in this area. maybe you should have a look at a skeptics society. ive never bothered with one(waste of time no benefit). you seem to be easily brainwashed.

 

anyway if the only advice i can get here is:

Sounds like you're doing all the right things. As long as that's what you're doing, then the only thing you can do is be patient. It isn't just going to happen because you want it to. It isn't just going to happen because you happen to be social and hit on women. Sometimes you just have to hang in there and get comfortable. Outside of getting a prostitute or raping someone, you have no choice but to wait.

then theres probably no point in being on this forum.

[johan]

then theres probably no point in being on this forum.

 

What did you expect? You thought posting here would get you the special recipe and have you naked with some willing girl by midnight? Can you imagine how huge this forum would be if that were the case? Maybe you need to hit up "adult friend finders" sites, where people are actually looking to hook up and aren't waiting around.

[Mary3]

What did you expect? You thought posting here would get you the special recipe and have you naked with some willing girl by midnight? Can you imagine how huge this forum would be if that were the case? Maybe you need to hit up "adult friend finders" sites, where people are actually looking to hook up and aren't waiting around.

 

True Dat

[IrishCarBomb]

in other words you missed out on sexual pleasure and interaction also.

 

Not exactly. At 18, people generally don't have a good sense of self awareness. Some even try and fit stereotypes because they want a sense of identity, even when it betrays their true self. I'm glad I'm not 18 because of the angst inherent with that age from not being self aware.

 

So in a sense, I agree with you. When people say "be yourself" it's not helpful at all, because you have no idea who you are.

 

I'm sure all of this will leave you right back where you started. Confused and frustrated.... sorry dude.... life's a bitch sometimes. Maybe some more Einstein quotes will help?