What Do I Do!

[One_ Stupid_ Man!]

O.k. I need some serious advice here. I'll try & make this short & to the point. Was living in another state met a female friend of family member last year & this past April, started dating in May-July. I got scared, and maybe thought there was someone better out there for me...(there wasn't/isn't). We broke up in July, somehow through it all she actually still considered me a friend (didn't deserve it). Has always been there even after we broke up when I need to talk, when I've been sick, no matter what. She is gorgeous, intelligent, funny, and was completely in love with me until I SCREWED this all up. We were talking and seeing eachother a little more and more, even gone out a few times from July up until just recently. Until I screwed up again, * don't know if I can fix it this time.

 

She quit calling, coming around me & other friends in Aug., started working two jobs, etc. I started missing her more,more,more started going to find her on her second job, or where she hangs out, just to see her, hang out with her be near her. We started talking vaguely about how good it was when it was "us", she wasn't and hopefully still isn't seeing anyone, know that she still loves me as much I am still in love with her. Man, it was amazing we could talk, laugh always laugh, and we were both HAPPY I mean really happy when we were exclusive, and even when we've just gone out here and there. Problem, I had a chance to check out a job a month ago, in another state five states away, and they hired me on the spot, I had already packed up and brought all my stuff was too good of an opportunity to pass up, so here I am five states away from her.

 

I left without calling or seeing her or saying goodbye, see ya later, anything was in a rush to get there for interview which came up unexpectedly, the last time we were together I had told her how much she meant to me, how much I love her and want to be with her, build a future together and I wanted to try this again, did tell her about possibility of getting the job in another state, but that we'd work through all this together. So, called to cousin's party a few nights after arriving in new state, asked cousin to call her to the phone so I could at least say Hello, when she found out it was me, she wouldn't get on the phone, and won't answer her home phone now, cellular, when I call work she isn't there or they tell me she is busy. So, told sister in law when they come to see me in Dec. I asked sister in law to ask her to come for a visit, said she did mention it, and she just got a really sad look on her face, and walked away without saying anything. I know I have hurt her more than she deserves, just leaving the way I did.

 

Truth is was afraid to see her, because I didn't want to make her sad, or hurt her more than I have, and I couldn't ask her to come with me not knowing what was going to happen with job situation. So, now I wake up thinking about her, go to sleep thinking about her, and miss her more than I thought I ever could. So, is there hope for fixing this? I want her back and don't know what to do. Man, I feel so stupid about the way I handled this with her. I want her here with me...what do I do?

[sparkle]

You described this situation and what you think of her pretty well here. Someone has suggested the following idea before, and I thought it would be pretty effective:

 

Print out your post and give it to her.

 

I'm sure it will answer some of her questions. And if there is still hope of you two getting back together, I'm sure you'll receive a reply from her.

 

But you were the one who ran away from her, and it's up to her to decide whether she wants to talk to you again or not.

[MercyRose]

Well as a female...I will be honest with how you look-but only to help you-not with the intention of trashing you.

 

You actually sound like you do not consider her feelings at all-only your own.

 

When you are afraid you only think of yourself-you shut her out and then when you know she must be mad at your inconsiderate behaviour you want her back-and the more she doesn't want you the more you want her.

 

What you should do is:

 

a) always consider her feelings before you act

 

b) always tell the truth for the reason you act so selfishly-being afraid is human

 

c)if you really want her make effort for her

 

You have weekends free, go visit her and tell her the truth about your fears, you behaviour and your love.

 

But know this-a woman is not forgiving forever- they have a breaking point, a limit. Once you cross that nothing you do will get them back.