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Anyone please explain


Sabrina

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Hi, Me and my boyfriend are back together from 3 months of breaking up. He went away to an academy. We have dated for several years. And he always gave the impression that he loved me truely. We have had many many many breakups in the last year or so. Recently getting back together and being 11 hours apart. So far everything was hard but I am happy and he seems happy . I drove to see him twiced. At first he called everynight and was so loving...Now durring the week i do not hear from him because of his classes and the cell phone is free on weekends. But I miss talking to him all the time....Lately every weekend he is going out with his friends. He says I can trust him, but he is not calling as much and is always with his friends. He just told me he will not be home for Thanksgiving either...So to me it looks like he is pulling away...After being all happy at first..And he also not even a week ago was talking in the we direction..Meaning marriage and later on......What do you all think is going on nOw......

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This relationship stinks.

 

1. According to you, you have had "many, many, many" breakups in the past.

 

2. You are back together after three months (DUH) of breaking up and he has gone off to the academy.

 

3. Recently back together but 11 hours apart.

 

4. You now don't hear from him during the week.

 

5. Every weekend he's out with friends and doesn't call.

 

6. He's always with his friends.

 

7. He's not coming to see you for Thanksgiving.

 

What do I think is going on? He's jerking you around, disrespecting you, taking you for granted, lying to you, probably seeing other girls, not caring about you enough for you to mess with him, etc., etc.

 

What do I think should be going on? You should be dusting this jerk ASAP. Don't listen to his bull. Actions speak louder than words and he is clearly showing you he is NOT into his relationship with you at all.

 

I know this hurts a great deal but the sooner you stop worrying about him, healing from this, and moving on the better off you will be. Don't you think you deserve a guy who will show you he cares deeply about you and that you are an important part of his life.

 

Get on with things and forget this bum. If I were you, I wouldn't even take his calls anymore. He's a loser. Yeah, I know you love him because things used to be real good. Well, they ain't good anymore. I'm just so sorry. It really pisses me off to see a sweet lady like yourself get jerked around by such a chump.

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hi sabrina,

 

the only person who can truly say what is going on here is your boyfriend.

 

what concerns me about your post is this sentence:

 

We have had many many many breakups in the last year or so.

 

"many, many, many breakups"....think about that statement. not the kind of relationship that would leave you feeling stable, eh? not exactly a stable, secure relationship either. breaking up so many times in one year indicates that this relationship is very unhealthy. this is the guy who just left for the coast guard with no regard for your feelings.

 

to stay in a situation like this can be very counter-productive in the long run. you want him all the time, you get him back, you break-up, you want him again, you get him back....it's a vicious circle that eats away at your self-esteem as time goes on.

 

i'm possibly being out of line here, but i fail to see how things could get better when you constantly break-up all the time and he's now moved 11 hours away.

 

from someone who has been in an unstable relationship before, which ate away at my self-esteem and confidence and from someone who has previously tried to analyse someone's behaviour i have this to say - if you are so unsure about things and so bothered by his behaviour then you should seriously start re-evaluating your situation.

 

it can be so damaging to be so attached to someone who has you on an emotional rollercoaster all the time. wouldn't it be much better to be in a situation where you know where you stand with a person than always wonder what their next move is going to be and when they might break-up with you next?

 

sometimes we have to learn to not live on hope so much and learn to put ourselves in situations that are in our favour and that we are secure and happy in.

 

best wishes :)

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