Nobel Posted June 18, 2006 Share Posted June 18, 2006 I don't know where to start. I have been with my girlfriend for 5 years, and during the first year I started doubting the relationship. I had never been in a serious relationship before, when I first met her I just knew we would be together, and when we finally got together I started to feel like the bottom was going to fall out. I would say things like "You'll find someone better than me", or "why are you with someone like me" Whenever we had a small argument, I would freak out and feel like maybe this isn't going to work out. I know what I'm saying is irrational, I don't know how to be positive, I only know how to be negative... Anyway 4 great years go by with a few episodes of irrational thinking. And just this February, I proposed to her; I felt good doing it, but sometimes I re-call some of those odd moments and I get scared thinking the marriage won't work and want to run away. I won't run, but I don't want to live like this. I love her to no end, and I don't think it is fair to her for me to be like this. Tp paraphrase - when I forget about those odd PAST moments I love life, and and our relationship seems indestructible, but when I remember them I just start f%*ing things up for myself, thinking upsetting, hurtful things. What should I do. Link to post Share on other sites
BeFree Posted June 18, 2006 Share Posted June 18, 2006 I know you are not the only man who has had moments of causing destruction in their relationship. But you are obviously fighting your demonds and trying to move forward. I think you need to just stay on your track. Every time you get that negative thought, just push it away with a positive one. Perhaps you should tell her how you really feel bad that some of your past actions where negative and how you hope to make up for that. She obviously loves you, we all love our men inspite of their faults. Link to post Share on other sites
bab Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 It sounds like you've got some self-image/self-confidence issues. Depending how bad they are you may want to see a counselor. Self-confidence issues can be crippling in lots of different areas of your life, and relationships are a biggy. The other possibility is if you don't feel like you have self-confidence issues, then your relationship might not be what you've imagined it to be . Think about why you think your relationship will make it. If you can't come up with any other reason than "I love her..." or "I want it to..." then you may want to rethink the relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Nobel Posted June 30, 2006 Author Share Posted June 30, 2006 She's my best friend, there isn't anything I haven't told her. There is no reson I can think of that prevents us from having a great life together, but obvoiusly something is. Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted July 1, 2006 Share Posted July 1, 2006 And a therapist can help you figure that out. Link to post Share on other sites
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