junnebugg_23 Posted June 18, 2006 Share Posted June 18, 2006 I apologize for the long post but I could really use another opinion on this before I go nuts. I met this significantly younger man (he's 25, I’m 34) about 6 months ago. We instantly seemed to like each other, connected at a soul level and really seemed to hit it off, spoke on the phone, hung out a few times. It’s rare that you meet someone like that where there is such a strong connection. I know this cause I have experienced it before and he felt it too. Fairly early on the conversations turned very flirtatious. I know that we were both hesitant to define whatever this was but we were both comfortable with the flirting hanging out and decided to see where it would go. The flirting always seemed to take a turn towards the sexual side of things no matter how I would try to change the subject. To date even though we’ve spent the night together in the past there has been no consummation of the relationship. Three months into chatting with each other almost all the time he totally disappeared on me. First he stood me up for lunch and never apologized, then abruptly stopped calling, texting etc. Just gone ...poof! Being older I knew there was someone else and his immaturity or something just wouldn’t allow him to admit it or face me. There was no exclusivity to the arrangement so I could not understand the freak out! After confirmation, from someone else, that my instincts were correct. I sent him a text with one word that described his behavior. Disbelief and shock in the replies I received then three weeks ago all over sudden he starts texting me again by sending me 2 variations of an attempt to apologize. One (the text) stated that he thought he owed me an apology, the other (email) stated that he didn’t want to use the word ‘Explanation’ cause he did not think he owed me one ????????????????? So I leave it to him to set up a time and date to meet for this non explanation apology…and hear nothing ….nada! Talking and texting resume two weeks later (keeping it polite and non sexual) ….still nothing. He starts flirting again …for the love of …Why do I keep entertaining this????...I think to myself. I lay down the law and state CLEARLY this time. I am not going to invest any emotions in this anymore, friends with benefits is where I draw the line. Emotions just muddle everything…he agrees. We set up a date ….conveniently at the end of his weekend not mine. 9.30pm mind you he had the entire day to do this. I’m home waiting for him to come over. He sends me a text at 10.00 pm stating that they had a rain delay at his soccer match and tonight may not work. An hour later he’s texting me from home???...we are neighbors by the way ….three buildings down. This is not a big deal for me as he’d done this before …meaning I’m a big girl it’s not the end of the world but I really need to know cause I like this guy. Did he freak out again and what’s he freaking out about ??? Is he intimidated by the fact that I clearly stated what this all meant for me? Am I doing something wrong or have I not done something ? Someone please …his erratic behavior is driving me nuts Link to post Share on other sites
bm2092004 Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Ok, I know this probably isn't what you want to hear, but if he's putting you through all of this, is he really worth it? Is he just toying with your emotions for some stupid joke to him? I wish I could tell you what to do, because I know the feeling of not knowing what to do. But you just have to ask yourself, "is he worth this pain?" Hope it helps, bm2092004 Link to post Share on other sites
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