sadmama Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 I am due to have a baby on July 9th. My husband has been got talkng to a girl online. He told me he needed space and asked me leave. I am devestated and hurt beyond belief and wonder if this is not all code for its over. Just need to vent Link to post Share on other sites
Alexandra Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Now this is one of the posts I wish wasn't real... But it is, probably. Let me get this straight, you're 8 months pregnant, you caught your husband talking to another woman and HE asked you to leave?!? It may not be code for "it's over" but unless there are special circumstances your lack of details obscure it's code for "is this the sort of man I want by my side?!?". Evidently you need to find a way to drag him into couples' therapy but how you'll do that NOW is beyond me. Would he even consider it? Do you have where to go, a good support system? Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 He's a shallow-weak minded man without morals, values, ethics, integrity, honor, sense of responsibility that you need to get out of your life as much and as soon as possible ~ the quicker the better ~ because he's a piece of crap that you don't need in your nor your chid's life ~ and you'll pay the devil trying to get a dime out his worthless, sorry, good for nothing azz! I wish you all the luck in the world! Prayers Guns Link to post Share on other sites
LucreziaBorgia Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Call a lawyer ASAP before you even think of leaving and tell him/her everything. You need some legal advice right now, and how! You will need to protect yourself and your child(ren) legally and financially and a good lawyer will help you best do that. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 It may not be over. I would probably hold on to some hope if I were in your shoes. Please search for "marriage builders" and try Plan A. I would also call a lawyer and make sure I know what the deal is. BTW, even by the standards of a cheating MM, ordering one's 8-month pregnant spouse out of the house so HE can have his cheating space is a new low. Hugs to you, this is completely wrong and unfair on his part. Link to post Share on other sites
Billy Bob Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 Ummm? Your husband was chatting online with a female? He wants some space? I don't think I would overreact at this point and rush out to a lawyer. Was this a one time thing, just chatting with someone on AOL? Was it a sexual conversation? Is he/would he cheat on you? Is he frustrated/nervous with the baby coming soon? Do you love your husband? Does he love you? Too many questions need to be answered before anyone should really comment on your situation. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 cta, the husband ASKED HER TO LEAVE. And she's going to be giving birth any day. That is why we are treating it as a very serious situation. I agree that if it were JUST chatting and "want space", it would not necessarily require a legal consultation. Link to post Share on other sites
thegoodhubbie Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 If this is real, the guy is complete scum. Most definitely get thee to a laywer and pronto. Also speak with everyone you can who you trust and is close to you in real life. Don't seek advice on line. Talk to people in your life. You need help! Good luck!!! Link to post Share on other sites
jmargel Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 I am due to have a baby on July 9th. My husband has been got talkng to a girl online. He told me he needed space and asked me leave. I am devestated and hurt beyond belief and wonder if this is not all code for its over. Just need to vent You are already with one child (your married to him). The child that will give you true, unconditional love will arrive July 9th. It's time to kick that teenager you have with you now to the curb. He's way too immature & selfish to be able to sustain in a long lasting relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
Billy Bob Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 cta, the husband ASKED HER TO LEAVE. I think she needs to clarify what she meant. I read it to mean he asked her to leave the room while he was online texting or now re-reading it maybe he asked her to leave the house for the afternoon or something. If he did actually tell her to leave, as in "move out", then it is pretty apparent he is scum. But we need to hear more about the details.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author sadmama Posted June 20, 2006 Author Share Posted June 20, 2006 My husband and I have been together for nearly three years and married for nine months. I am about to give birth to a little boy any day now. We have had our ups and downs as most couples too. My husband had said things in passing like he was not happy or did not think it was going to work but always took it back. On Saturday night, we were at a party and he was quite rude, telling folks he had to put up with me and asking for a wife swamp. I said thats not funny and asked him to stop. Lately had had been coming to bed well after three am, I asked him if he was up chatting, he said no. On Sunday, I went downstairs to check computer out while I waited for his parents to bring our little boy, his son home whom we have been raising. Something told me the check the pogo account, which is mine. I found a deleted message he must have sent some girl, with her added as a friend. It said Whats up. You coming on 2night. At the party, my husband made a big deal about how married couples should not chat online. I snapped. I am pregnant and hormonal. I said that was it, I was gong to leave, I did not mean it. He at first denied the chatting, said it was a guy then admitted it was a girl. Blamed me and said I would freak. Said he had to chat as she was from the same town as us. I said I was going to a friends house for a bit, only thing keeping me was our little boy. Things I really did not mean. My husband was like you love me, I love you. You won't leave blah blah blah. I called him on my way to my friends house and asked him if he would stop talking to that girl. He said yes but his tone was funny. Got some good advice and went home, figuring we could work this out. He said I need t otalk to you. We need tme apart. My world fell apart because I knew he ment it. He said if you don't give me this time away, its over. You are sufforcating me. I did not cry. I said why don't we just have a day apart and see how that goes. He said no. I said well for how long? A week. I said can we revisit this in a week. He said yes I said why do I have to leave, I said you leave. He said he would have no where to go. He knows my parents would always take me in. Plus there is the little boy who is autistic and needs the one stable environment. So I packed my stuff up, said i would see the little one on Monday and left. Devestaed. No one thought I should take the boy so I emailed and said I could not. yesterday am he messgned me online and asked why I could not take the boy. I said it wold be too hard. I did take him eventually, wrote a big email saying I would change, blah blah blah. Went to get the little one and he was like why are u so mad. I said I am not. He said why are you being so mean. I said I am not. I was not going to be ms friendly. He is still wearing his wedding ring. When I brought him home, he was like your mad so and so is here. He has had his friend stay at our house since I left. Someone I can't stand. I said no figured he was here. He said whats the problem. I said what do you expect you have broken my heart. We are a family and your killng me. He said I know hon. God I clung to him saying that. Spoke to his mom who is right pissed. Said his sister does not think it will last. I took that to heart and sent him an email asking to work this out prior to Sunday. He did not repsond. I messenged him and said did you read my email. He said yes. I said well? He said I don't know what is happening right now. I said alright, til Sunday. He said I am going to watch wrestling, will talk later. I can't eat, I can't sleep and I have no idea what to do. Thanks for reading Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 OK, thanks for the extra info. This is definitely a crisis. The pregnancy is very awkward because it means you really don't have the time, energy, or stable mood to deal with the possibility of your husband leaving you. You need all that strength for yourself. Sounds like you are both on high alert and BOTH saying things you don't mean. Your H was wrong for chatting and lying, and you were very hurt. To deal with your hurt, you threatened to hurt him, by leaving. He resisted but then started playing along. I do think there is a possibility that this recent crisis was just escalated by both parties until it looks like a separation. It may be that NEITHER of you really wants this. So a "cooling off" period may be a good idea. However, you are the pregnant one, so you get to stay in the house and he pays the bills. Could you get some calm, wise older people, like close family friends, aunt/uncle, to talk to both of you and help you calm down? Yes, your H needs to change his behavior and so do you. The things we go through to bring children into this world! Link to post Share on other sites
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