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Re: loving unconditionally


Tony T

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You don't learn unconditional love, it is instinctive. It is the love of a parent for a child or the love of a child for a pet.

 

All other love is conditional. People love others as long as their behavior conforms to an accepted standard. Sexual love is most often conditioned upon a continuing attraction and ceases when that attraction no longer exists.

 

If you're looking for unconditional love in a relationship, you are dreaming. Forget it. People love each other romantically as long as there is attraction and each is meeting the other's needs.

 

Unconditional love in a romantic setting does sound nice though, I'll grant you that. But it's not something you can learn how to do nor is it possible.

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What you need to strive for is committed love, in which you continue to love a person even during trials, tribulations and disagreements. Committed love holds that these bad times are temporary and the relationship will soon restore itself to its normal state.

 

If your boyfriend should change his personality, beliefs or some other important aspects of himself that you do not admire, it will be impossible for you to continue to love him in a romantic way...even if you're committed to him. Committment goes both ways and part of the deal is keeping some sort of order in the relationship.

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sounds like you don't have a clue what real love is all about. real love isn't something that you withdraw when your angry at your partner. if you really love someone, it's there all the time. if the first thing that comes to mind when your mad at him is leaving, either he's not the guy for you or you need to grow up and stop being petty and immature. withdrawing your love from someone because you're not happy with them is like a child keeping his toys from his friends.

actually i was trying to figure out how i could love my boyfriend unconditionally. as it seems when i am mad at him, i withdraw my love and want to leave him, but i don't, when things are going great i think i will never leave him and how lucky i am. this is not unconditional love and i know that and that deeply bothers me that i can swing from one end to the other in a heart beat, still i stay.
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