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My mom cheating when I was little (4-5 years old), I believe the whole town knew it (we live in small town). I saw them talking (no body contact) in the dark, I remember feeling sick when I saw it, but I do not understand. I often sharing my feeling with my sisters and one of them saw mom with this guy in our house at night when dad wasn't home. It had happended around 10 years - affair(since I wasn't born). Once my sister told dad (when she 4years old), and the next day she hit my sister, and from that time their relationship just war. Now I am married, but I always having this bad dream and I want to get over it. My mom often abuse us verbally and fisically, when she upset. I often hear her story about regreat having me (why is a girl if she was a boy I will have enough, no more baby).

what should I do, I want to ask her now, why she cheated on dad, and why she treat me different from others

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