Can't stop thinking about the girl he cheated on me with

[lkluck]

hi, quick history:

boyfriend and I broke up after a year and a half. He used to party with friends at strip clubs where he met a girl. 9stripper) He went on one date with her behind my back as well as making phone calls. I am a model but do have every insecurity you can think of. Prior to my boyfriend I had many plastic surgeries. I know I was really sick but at the time I wanted to achieve perfection. I know now that there is no such thing. After I caught him in the lie of going on a date he said that nothing happened and that he didn't even want to kiss her. After about another two times of the same type of strip club scenario I broke up with him. He has been crying for me to take him back. He is literally crying and he is not the type to show emotion. Also later he told me he did kiss her. We have been broken up for a week and everytime we break up, he calls this girl he took on a date. I can't stop thinking about if she is prettier than me. He insists that she is not as pretty but of course he would say that! He insists that he only wants me and that he called her because he wanted the comfort of talking to anyone. He also admits that he saw her once after each breakup and that he had plans to maybe meet her out this last breakup but he didn't because he went to my house to try to get me back. My mind is starting to think of getting more surgery to make myself completely beautiful so that the next time there will not be a girl who so easily compares. I know this is crazy thinking but I just keep thinking if I was stunning beautiful then he would have not so easily found a temporary replacement. I am choosing not to get back together with him, Two questions: Do you guys think this girl is hotter? and How heartbroken can he be about the breakup if he has called this girl and also emailed one other?

[LucreziaBorgia]

1. My mind is starting to think of getting more surgery to make myself completely beautiful so that the next time there will not be a girl who so easily compares. I know this is crazy thinking but I just keep thinking if I was stunning beautiful then he would have not so easily found a temporary replacement.

 

2. I am choosing not to get back together with him,

 

3. Do you guys think this girl is hotter? and

 

4. How heartbroken can he be about the breakup if he has called this girl and also emailed one other?

 

1. Don't do it. You could be the most perfect beautiful woman in the world, and if this guy wants to be a player he will regardless of what you look like.

 

2. Good choice. He doesn't sound like he is too invested in your relationship.

 

3. Hot has nothing to do with it. The way she makes him feel about himself has everything to do with it. It could be that she makes him feel a certain way about himself that is nearly addictive, hence why he keeps going back. She could be ugly as sin and if she makes him feel a certain way about himself that he likes and needs, no amount of beauty in other women will change that. Perhaps it is that she is secure with herself and her body, and that is part of the attraction?

 

4. He doesn't sound like he was invested in the relationship enough to begin with - hence why his actions aren't those of someone who is heartbroken.

 

Enough about him - lets talk about you. Have you considered getting help for your body image problems? It sounds like you are right on the edge of body dysmorphic disorder or something like that - whatever it is, your insecurity with your body and yourself is evident.

[misslady7]

Aww, I am really sorry that you are going through this right now. I know being a female we have many insecurities and I do myself. And we always try to make ourselves to be the perfect girlfriend so our significant other wouldn't leave us, or do anything to hurt us. Just from reading your post I am sure you are a beautiful person on the inside and out and no one is worth going through this for. Know that's his lost not yours, and that you don't have to go to any other measures to make yourself beautiful and perfect for him. You deserve to be with someone who makes you feel beautiful, someone who doesn't have a need to want to be with someone other than you. Always know that you deserve nothing but the best ok? And regardless of what we as females try to do for our significant others, they are going to do what they want to do and it is definitely not your fault that he went out there and did what he did. Please do this for yourself don't go back to him, I know things are much easier said than done because I myself still have insecurities that I must deal with and I always try to be the perfect girlfriend. But no one is worth all of that pain and heartache.

 

I wish you the very best! Also know that all that you are going through right now something great will come out of it.

This too shall pass like everything else has.

 

Keep us posted ok.

Take Care1

[lkluck]

Thank you for your replys about my ex. Since he never opens up, he probably never allowed the girls(strippers

) to see the real him anyway so they never had a chance to make him feel a certain way. I have completely cut off from him now, and it is hard but each day is easier. I can see that I have a lot of insecurities that need to be worked on. Thank you again!