ash8752 Posted June 19, 2006 Share Posted June 19, 2006 So, from previous posts and threads you will see i am working through being jealous and insecure. I have been with my bf 14 months and we live together. Love eachother! I don't want to push him away! Here is the latest scenerio (not like this stuff happens often at all.): Saturday night he went out with friends. They went to the bar and one of his friends met a girl. This girl was with like 3 friends as well. So, the girls buy them a bunch of shots and they all get drunk. Then my bf's friend invites them back to his place to play drinking games and hang out. They were up very late, or should i say early. I Am not a party girl or a drinker and although i was invited I opted not to go out. I was tired from a busy work week. So girls, how would you feel if your SO was in this situation, and guys what do you think about it? I am really trying to better my relationship here, but sometimes i find it hard. I want to beat jealousy, and mistrust. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Relax! If he has never been unfaithful before--let it be! He was honest to you about his actions, and also tried to include you. If this is an every weekend thing, then I would start to wonder. Also, even if you are not a big partier, go out with them every once in a while just to show your interest in his life and friends. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ash8752 Posted June 20, 2006 Author Share Posted June 20, 2006 Thanks for the advice. I do include myself in what he does, i will go to his friends etc but at the same time sometimes i dont. This whole insecurity has been an issue of mine because now i am at risk of losing someone extremely important to me! Get's harder the more you care. But thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Author ash8752 Posted June 21, 2006 Author Share Posted June 21, 2006 Does anyone else have any more ideas, advice or thoughts on this. It's ok if not, i was just hoping for some more point of views. As i said, i am really trying to save my relationship! It's not in direct danger, we are very happy, but i know if my insecurities and jealousy keeps up i could lose him. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 I'll be honest. I am a recovering alcoholic. I can't even include myself to show interest, if someone I dates does that kind of stuff....I have to draw a line and say, do what you want, but I can't tolerate that kind of behavior. I'm honest. I get jealous, that's my reason. Not yours, so I'm not sure how my POV will help...but for me, I get jealous. I want to party and be able to do it in moderation like other people. I can't handle it. Recently this was thrown in my face as an ultimatum. "Stop drinking and partying or I won't allow you access to my naughty bits or attempt to have a relationship with you." But f***, what am I supposed to do? I want a certain lifestyle. I like to do some things, and not others. I can handle certain things, and not others, and it's my right to demand a partner who has similar interests. So I will and have ended relationships over this. It sucks for them, but for me -- I honestly believe my life and health depend on it. And I wouldn't dream of asking someone to give up that for me, just that they let me go to find someone who doesn't do those things. So I doubt this helps you. JMO. I just can't handle that type of behavior in people I date, so I choose not to. Link to post Share on other sites
dchick05 Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 i think u should just relax. if he hasn't cheated on you before don't worry about it. i mean if he told you what happened and you have trust in him just cool off and don't worry. guys will be guys they go out with their friends and have good times. as long as it is you they are coming home to it is ok. and remember guys will always look so will girls as long as they dont' touch it is ok. also if they look once don't worry it's natual, but if they look a second time than say something. if they truly love you their should be no question as to what they are doing. Link to post Share on other sites
audmc911 Posted July 5, 2006 Share Posted July 5, 2006 Then my bf's friend invites them back to his place to play drinking games and hang out. They were up very late, or should i say early. Your b/f is not making it easy for you to beat mistrust and jealousy. If you live together, he had an obligation to go home to you and not over his friends house to play drinking games with other girls. It's just common sense. He is treating you very badly and has no respect for your feelings. I don't think the issue is jealousy or mistrust. I think the issue is his behavior. It's unacceptable. Any man who has a woman at home should not go over his buddies with girls they just met to play drinking games! Even in the most secure of relationships - this is not acceptable. Also, did he sleep all day on Sunday? It was a Holiday! What if you wanted to get up early and go to the beach - and he's sleepin off a hangover - or if you needed work done around the house. That's bs. I wouldn't put up with it. I'd leave like yesterday! Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
john2776 Posted July 6, 2006 Share Posted July 6, 2006 I'd have no problem with that, up to the point where he went back to his mates place to play drinking games with some girls. Thats a great night when you are a single guy, and not really on when you are in a relationship with someone who is easily jealous and insecure. He hasn't done anything majorly wrong, but you should point out that you expect better, and in future he should not do it - simply to show some more respect for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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