Ok OK OK! It's getting worse....

[melancholyaddict]

I posted a few weeks ago, after I set the 'boundaries' with my bf. He still tells me about all the women who talk to him on the subway, in the hall at work, at the deli and today I've had it. Like I've said, if this were me telling him, he'd be very jealous and freaking out. However, today I told him, look, I don't want to hear about all of your love interests, please don't let me hold you back. Of course, he blows this off and says, Are you serious? Of course I say, Yes, I am serious, no more, enough. Do you really need this sort of attention all the time? He laughs and says only from you.

 

In the past few weeks he has also told me, Hey, I might have to 'replace' you with someone else. I say, Like who? He doesn't say anything, it's an obvious joke. So I tell him to just do it already, if he's going to do it. I think he tries to manipulate me by making me feel like he might bolt. I think this comes from a previous unstable relationship. However, when he does this, I just say, Freaking do it already and if you are not going to, shut up! And he laughs and we go on about our way.

 

Now, close to the 7th month mark, I find it odd that he is behaving in this way. I am an attractive girl, men do look and sometimes engage me in conversation. I would never tell him something like, Hey this guy in the subway came up to me today...He would be enraged, reading everything under the sun into it. He would somehow feel inadequate, as if I didn't want him. Number one, I am too mature to try to get his attention by saying stuff like that, number two, I am way too classy.

 

My question is, how do I get him to stop acting like this? Or is that even possible? I've tried to 'turn the tables on him' and that works for a week. Now I am wondering if he just needs constant adulation. Cause it's exhausting! I do what I can by my gosh. I feel like backing off a bit. And though I like being with him, I find that this will be a constant pain in my A#$# for the future.

 

Your advice?

[ashnicole]

Sounds to me like he's trying to rub it in your face that you're "lucky to have him." Personally, I'd leave... joking or not, that's not the kind of stuff that I stick around to hear, time and time again. So, yeah... I'd be outta there.

[catgirl1927]

I don't think you're going to be able to change him, it's not right to try to change someone. You don't like that he's trying to change you into someone who begs him not to leave because some woman said excuse me on the subway, do you?

 

He sounds insecure, addicted to drama, and frankly, a little bit spiteful. I would tell him you don't want to be in a relationship with someone who always has one foot out the door, and bolt. There are too many men to put up with this kind of thing.