confused423 Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 my childhood my not have been the greatests well nowhere near the greatest. what ive found is that because i was abused as a child i have become sort of a social outcast. Im in college, and i dont drink and dont party. Its funny how this should happen but i hate how i was treated through my relationships with my loved ones. now ive become the opposite, in my relationships with women, i am ultra sensitive, ultra loving. i would be crushed if i was ever dumped by my girlfriend. i love her and have thought about marrage. its only been 7 months, there is a major difference between the two of us. that is she drinks and i do not. i always some how feel hurt when she calls me on the phone or when i see her drunk, i keep asking people why i am the way that i am but all anyone does is blame my parents, but shouldnt i have gone the other way, why didnt i turn towards drugs and alcohol? why am i so hell bent on being anti social, i dont like people to know too much about me, ive got enought of my own insecurities not to mention the millions i have about this relationship... speaking of relaitonships i find that i compare my relationship with her, which is soo good, to all of the bad that i have seen in my life. what do i do, i feel as though ive been facing this question for years? thank you. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 26, 2006 Share Posted July 26, 2006 Everyone has their own unique personalities (parts are natural others are influenced/ circumstantial)... don't feel bad about yours! You seem like a nice, caring, RESPONSIBLE person who is going to make a good husband one day. Link to post Share on other sites
selenakitten Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 just because you were abused, doesn't mean you will be the same or have same problems as other abusers. I was molested and beat as a child. But I don't molest BUT have a huge temper. But the sexual part made me have problems with sex. I don't orgasm with intercourse-only did 4 times and it took my second husband to do it (he doesn't know-the first time it happened, I cried and he thought he hurt me!). I tend to fall in love easliy. I am in love with someone now, other than my husband and keep thinking about this person. I don't enjoy making love with my husband as much, but yet I fantise making love with this other man...I also like to watch porn sometimes. I don't over drink but I do drink when I go out (doesn't most of us??). I don't do drugs either. My ex-husband was beat and became a beater. My husband now was beat and never beats me up. He only shoved me once. So it depends on the person themselves. Be glad you don't have the bad habits that most abused get into! Link to post Share on other sites
wantintotalk Posted August 3, 2006 Share Posted August 3, 2006 I think it is so awesome that you do not drink and do drugs. Along with so many other people, you could have used your past as a crutch to put the blame on the other people in your life. Instead you decided to make a stand and become a better person. It actually takes a weak person to turn to drink and alcohol. I live with one and it isn't pleasant. I think if the truth be known, not too many people had a wonderful childhood where nothing wrong happened. As we grow into adults it is up to us to make the life decisions that will effect our lives and the lives of people around us. Good for you in standing strong and courageous. Be careful of this relationship, though. Where one is a drinker and the other is not you will find all kinds of difficulties. I know from personal experience. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
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