Forever Searching Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 This is going to be long so I'm sorry ahead of time. I have a friend that I've known for 8 years now. We were best friends for about 3 of those years. He's always liked me in a romantic way and I never did although we did have a brief "fling" that lasted for about two weeks about 5 years ago. The problem is two years ago I moved away far away about 10 hours. I basically broke his heart before I left becasue I wouldn't pursue a relationship with him. It wasn't that I wasn't into him because a part of me was but it just was always bad timing becasue I was always getting out of relationships or something. So, it's been over a year since I've seen him and we had a big fight the last time I did see him. He came down to visit me and we were drinking and I said some hurtful things to him. Basically I feel like I am scared of a relationship with him because I think it would be too easy and I'm not ready for "the one" I don't know if that sounds crazy but I really think that's what it is. I miss him all the time and I feel like I love him but we obviously can't be together now. Main reason because of the distance and the second because he is in a committed relationship now and living with her. I've talked to him a few times in the last few months we've "made up" from our fight but things obviously can't go back to the way they were but that's the thing, I want them back I want to see if I can be with him. I feel like I finally might be ready. I don't want to say anything though because I don't want to ruin a good relationship for him. Even though I sense he isn't 100 percent happy, I don't know what to do. I did tell him during our last phone convo that I kick myself every day for letting him go and for treating him the way I did and he did say well you never know what may be down the road for us. Should I try to explain my feelings or do I let it go?? Link to post Share on other sites
dancehead Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 So now you realise that you really need him. So now you are really ready for him. Finally. Meanwhile hes moved on. I'm sorry to be harsh, perhaps I am rather biased having been in a similar situation myself. Now hes got a gf you want him... why? Because hes moved on and you are now single? 8 years is a long time. I would tell him you will keep your distance and be distant friends. Let him do his thing with his girl. What you are wanting to do deep down is to plead your love for him and have him split up with his gf for you. Its not on leave him alone, and only if things don't work out for him then you can try for him again. You've already said you have regrets, leave it at that. You might feel differently about him a month or two in the future. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Forever Searching Posted June 21, 2006 Author Share Posted June 21, 2006 Thanks for the response. I care about him so much and want him to be happy that is why I haven't really said much to him other than I regret not taking the chance when I could and figured I'd leave it at that. I kind of just wanted to get a perspective if that is the right thing to do. I deffinately don't want him to risk losing a good relationship for me especially since we are 10 hours away I just have so much feelings for him and it's hard to not act on it. I guess I"ll sit back and see how things work out with this relatioship he's in... Dang if I knew then what I know now.. Link to post Share on other sites
dancehead Posted June 21, 2006 Share Posted June 21, 2006 I think you should. What is it that you know now thats made all the difference? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Forever Searching Posted June 21, 2006 Author Share Posted June 21, 2006 I'm not really sure why all of a sudden I feel different. Maybe it's becasue I know I can't have him? That sounds so bad saying but I do love him that much that I don't want him to be unhappy and would never do anything again to hurt him so I'll sit back and wait it out. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Forever Searching Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 Ok, so this is ironic. I just found out that my friend and his girlfriend are splitting up. She said she isn't in love with him anymore. So, of course he told me about this because I'm his shoulder to cry on and I hinted about the way I felt and he seems to feel the same way about me still (meaning he still has feelings for me.) But, we are 10 hours away from each other there is a possibility he could move here however becasue he doesn't have a job at the moment. Link to post Share on other sites
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