How happy are you???????

[noclobber]

unfortuantely NC....if you were not raised in the US and don't have the "american" mind-set its very hard to pull off the western-style dating. I've been living here since age 7 and went to school here and all that. Even with that I sometimes still have a hard time mixing eastern and western value systems.

 

You are right on Alpha!

 

What exactly is this "american" mind-set???

[alphamale]

What exactly is this "american" mind-set???

its pretty much the opposite of the eastern mind-set. but not in everything.

[Becoming]

This is a very good thread, NC. Thanks.

 

My grandmother used to say something that still makes sense after 46 years on the planet: "Life is what you make it." She always used to say that to me when I wasn't getting what I thought I should and was frustrated and tantruming.

 

Most folks are as happy as they make up their minds to be. I think someone said that (other than me ). A Lincoln?

 

Anyway, I had general goals in mind and exceeded them. I didn't expect much given my background. Now here I am with a fantastic job, great family, house, etc. . . . . and not that happy.

 

Why?

 

What is this unnamed longing for something more than what we have when in fact we have it so good? What makes me happy is puppy kisses, the smell of honeysuckle in the cool breeze, sunshine, my children's curiosity, children giggling, dancing, singing, laughing, clean sheets with a high thread count, prayer, reading, flowers growing from seeds, walking on the beach with the tide tickling my toes, my H's nuzzles, good food with good friends, connecting with people intellectually.

 

And now I see why I'm not so happy. I'm not getting enough of those things in my life. Instead, I'm still on the rat race treadmill doing what everyone else tells me I need to do in order to be happy and self-destructing my career by spending too much time on LS!

 

I suspect, NC, that even if you were working for NASA as a Stanford grad that you wouldn't be happy because of something inside you pushing you to attain rather unrealistic expectations. I know that force inside me; it's that part of me that drove me to succeed and is never happy with what is because it could always be better.

 

What this desire for more is is the feeling that I had to be the best in order to be loved. And that's a lie. We're loveable just because we are. That force is basically an internalization of parents who could never be pleased, which, of course, meant I tried all the harder to be more/better so they'd love me. But that's miserable.

 

I think the desire for something more may be built into all of us to get us to ask the big questions of life: Why am I here? What is my destiny? How much do I really get to control of life anyway? And, really, what is the point of it all? If the end is death, why are we in such a rush all the time? And is the end really death or more life?

 

That questing desire in me leads me to where I am the happiest--in good worship, praising the Giver of Life.

[basscatcher]

Am I happy. I pretend to be by mentally blocking out the negatives in my life as best I can.

 

Nothing in my life has turned out the way I dreamed as a little girl.

 

I have gotten a bite here and there but nothing fullfilling.

 

Some days are easier to choose to be happy and just be; other days its a struggle, especially when we are often reminded of how short life is and then we feel the desperation of getting what we want.

 

I think being raised in the american culture we are programed to believe in the 'American Dream". What the hell is that.??? I have fought for everything I have in this life. I struggle to hold onto everything I have in this life. Everything around me threatens my little bit of happiness.

 

I hold onto all that can as tight as I can when I can get what I can.

 

NO wonder so many of us are so damn dysfunctional---we are taught wrong belief systems growing up. We try to live ourlives going after what we want only to fall on our faces so many times with broken, failed relationships, failure and frustration of our jobs, struggles with income to make our ends meet at the end and beginning of each month.

 

We have this huge distortion of what WE each BELIEVE we CAN have and what we DESERVE..

 

I struggle with this programing in my head because it is making me unhappy in my life.

 

Right at this moment: I feel--depressed, sad, guilty, alone {note: pms is at my door right now too.} I am not happy this week..

[alphamale]

I think being raised in the american culture we are programed to believe in the 'American Dream". What the hell is that.??? I have fought for everything I have in this life. I struggle to hold onto everything I have in this life. Everything around me threatens my little bit of happiness...

I have seen that people here in the US are not happy with what they have because many times they have no yardstick of comparison. They have not seen how people live in 3rd world countries. If people did see these poor decrepit souls who have zero, nada, zilch, nothing then they'd be happier with their own life.

 

I've seen people living out of cardboard shacks, covered from head to toe in their own filth with not even shoes on their feet. Begging for food and a few pennies. Children, adults, the elderly....with nothing to show for their life.

 

It puts things in perspective PADA.

[Walk]

Wise person once told me...

 

Sometimes what we think we want, isn't what we really want.

 

For instance. In my military school, I wanted to be class leader, that was my goal. Problem was, I couldn't run worth shyt, and if you weren't leading the platoon runs, then you couldn't be class leader. Didn't matter how well I excelled in everything else... can't run = can't be class leader.

 

I was really upset about it, felt like a failure. But I realized later, I didn't want to be class leader. I mean, it sounded good, in theory I wanted it. But I really didn't want it in practicality. I could've put more effort into being a stronger runner. Given up more of my time to work on increasing my stamina, etc. But I didn't. I did things that would hurt my running, like smoking, drinking. I can't honestly say I really wanted to be class leader at the time. I liked the idea, but I didn't really want it.

 

I want to graduate with a bachelors degree. That's my goal. I don't let anything get in the way of that. I go out of my way to make this a success. I give up things I enjoy and want to do in order to make this goal a reality. It's not too big of a sacrifice for me because it's something I absolutely want to do for myself. I give up other things in order to acheive this goal. And because of this, it will become a reality for me in another two semesters.

 

I guess what I'm saying is... Are those goals and dreams really what you want, or are they things you only think you want? Take a good look at the reasons you have those goals/dreams. That has a lot to do with your happiness level. Doing something because someone else said it should be done, or for status, or because you heard it was the place to go, isn't going to be enough to drive you to that extra effort to make it possible.

 

The rest of these posters took a good hard look at their lives and realized what they wanted and needed from their lives in order to be happy. Those things they identified, they accomplished. I don't believe it's about not having goals, but in having goals that are right for you. Then putting everything you have into accomplishing them.

 

You also have to be willing to adapt your goals as you change. I wanted to be in the Olympics when I was a kid. It's never going to happen. But I'm okay with that. It was a kids dream, one that didn't see the limitations of height, money, or reality. I adapt them, change them as I change. Tailor them to fit who I want to be now, and in the future.

[basscatcher]

I have seen that people here in the US are not happy with what they have because many times they have no yardstick of comparison. They have not seen how people live in 3rd world countries. If people did see these poor decrepit souls who have zero, nada, zilch, nothing then they'd be happier with their own life.

 

I've seen people living out of cardboard shacks, covered from head to toe in their own filth with not even shoes on their feet. Begging for food and a few pennies. Children, adults, the elderly....with nothing to show for their life.

 

It puts things in perspective PADA.

 

My dear, my dear Alphie..

I use to watch the feed the hungry for a penny a day growing up.

I also have been to Bosnia and seen some of the destruction from the war.

The little village I stayed in wasn't glitz and glamour. We had little hot water, Running water was just installed in the house we stayed in. (Yes, HOUSE--no hotels/motels).

The majority of employement is growing grapes, military or being a taxi driver. The food was simple, the living quarters were simple, they were poor people.

 

Not as poor as you witnessing people living in cardboard boxes but I'm sure there are those people also near where we were only out of sight. There were many disabled persons and widows from the war.

 

They can't take out loans like we can from our banks to build. They build brick by brick as they can afford to buy each peice for their homes. One home took 7 years to build and it was a very simple, modest home.

 

I have seen how much easier we have it in America. I personally am not blind to it.

 

I lost my hope in my growing years dreams from being discouraged so much.

When I was around the age of 13 I took a art test that was a televised commercial. I ordered it, completed it and sent it back. One day a man dressed in a nice suit smoking a cigar came to our door --in the middle of the sticks (country) and offered me a scholorship to the Minneapolis Art Institute when I turned 18 yrs old and graduated from high school. My dad being the crabby, negative, arse that he was grabbed the man by his collar and tie, pushed him out the door of the house backwards, and told him to never come back and fill my head full of shyt. He yelled at the man for telling me I could have a successful life in the art field. My dad didn't believe you could make a living off being creative, drawing and painting.

 

Somewhere I have a block in my abiliities due to the abuse as a child and I can't seem to pull it back.

 

I always dreamed of being a artist/art teacher. I am not--I have a AAS in Administrative Assistant and I'm having a hard time finding a Admin Asst position with no experience.

I wanted to be married and have 5 children with a house, a decent car, a garden and a clothes line outside. I have one beautiful, wonderful son, no house, shyttie car, divorced.

I wanted a loving, fun, caring, resourceful man in my life. The only men I attract are selfish, greedy, distant, abusive, commitment phobic, alcoholic-drug addicted men.

 

So What the hell. I'm not asking for riches... Just a peice of balance.

[noclobber]

Okay here is a new question: How do you think your life will be if your basic needs are not satisfied?? Like you don't have a proper place to live, don't make enough money and can't afford to eat everyday, no family or relationship to love you, no sex, can't go to a movie or some other form of entertainment....

 

In that stage I don't think there would be any meaning to have goals.

[basscatcher]

How do you think your life will be if your basic needs are not satisfied??

I've been there.

Like you don't have a proper place to live,

I had to move out and live with a friend. Been there.

don't make enough money and can't afford to eat everyday,

I've been there. I would eat every other day. I feed my son and my spouse first...

no family or relationship to love you,

Sometimes I feel like this in the middle of despair.

no sex,

I survived 15 years without it I can survive again if need be. I might resort to masterbation.

can't go to a movie or some other form of entertainment....

Been there also..

In that stage I don't think there would be any meaning to have goals.

I had stronger goals when I was suffering so terribly. I was so determined to get out of the hole I was in. I know the govt system quite well. I know what resources to call upon in times of desperation.

I have been almost homeless. I have worked for pennies to put milk, bread and potatos on my table. I have been stuck in the middle of the country without transportation to get out to find a job.

 

I have been on welfare for years struggling to better my life and that of my sons... The biggest leap was divorcing my xh...

[PuppyDogEyes]

Like you don't have a proper place to live, don't make enough money and can't afford to eat everyday, no family or relationship to love you, no sex, can't go to a movie or some other form of entertainment....

 

Well, my situation right now is that I don't have a serious relationship going on, nor do I have any familial ties whatsoever. (I broke all contact with my family, and I prefer that it stay that way.) So.... in truth, I'm pretty lonely...

 

...or am I? It's all in how you perceive things. I've been in a situation where all of the above was present (yes, at the same time) - but there's always a reason to have goals, even when you're deep in the dirt as I was. My goal was to get out of that situation so that I could retake control of my life!

 

One can always make their life better - always. It matters not how bad it can get. I've been in the worst situations you could imagine, and yet I always had hope.

[noclobber]

I've been there.

I had to move out and live with a friend. Been there.

I've been there. I would eat every other day. I feed my son and my spouse first...

 

Sometimes I feel like this in the middle of despair.

 

I survived 15 years without it I can survive again if need be. I might resort to masterbation.

 

Been there also..

 

I had stronger goals when I was suffering so terribly. I was so determined to get out of the hole I was in. I know the govt system quite well. I know what resources to call upon in times of desperation.

I have been almost homeless. I have worked for pennies to put milk, bread and potatos on my table. I have been stuck in the middle of the country without transportation to get out to find a job.

 

I have been on welfare for years struggling to better my life and that of my sons... The biggest leap was divorcing my xh...

 

I didn't mean all of those (no place to live, no money, no sex, no relationship, no family) but one or more of those. But nevertheless I was startled to learn that you have actually gone through each one of those!

 

You are a strong woman padam, hats off to you! I seriously got some learning to do from you!

[ConfusedGal]

Lets see...I am 27. I have everything that looks great on paper... I am an attorney with a high paying job, I am a fairly attractive person, and have a very nice husband whom I love to bits. Sounds great right? My happiness scale is about a 4.

 

The career I have is not really even close to the one I wanted...I am from an Asian family which kind of pushes your career choice. I am a pure creative working as a patent attorney....I have to continue that for a couple years at least to pay off what I paid for law school.

 

I had a very traumatic childhood. My mother ruined my late teen/early adult years and continues to do so due to her borderline/overly possesive behaviors.

 

My marriage...I cannot focus on it because I carry so much baggage from years of trauma from mom... All I want to do is move far away and I cant. We are in the process of buying a home, and I cant even be happy about that because well...all I want to do is run far away and the home keeps me from doing that. I have always wanted to travel, live be happy, like a regular young person, but have never been able to...I have no enthusiasm about having children, because I feel like I have never had the opportunity to live life my way yet... This all clearly disturbs my husband, rightfully so.

 

Regret?? I had the opportunity of making my dream of moving far away come true when my husband got offered a promotion out of state. I WAS Stupid enough to tell him to give it up because I was scared of not getting a job. The dumbest mistake of my life.

 

Clearly, I am now in therapy trying to learn to adjust and be happy with the kind of life I never wanted or imagined for myself. Its like living someone else's life...

 

Control?? I think YOU have a LOT more control when you are single. Yuo can do whatever the hell you want. There are disappointments, yes, but right now, there is a lot you can do....

[ConfusedGal]

And as for your last question, I think you need basic needs in your life. Our problem is getting disappointed when we dont get way more than those basic needs. for myself, the most important key to my happiness are healthy family relations. But again, that is because I dont have them.

 

I talked to my brother about this yesterday. I pretty much told him what I wrote in my previous post above. My brother started med school cause he was forced by my folks. Switched to doing a Phd instead, and then switched again to a different PhD topic. He is almost 33 and still in school without ever taking a break and has a good 2 years left. So he tells me 'Well, I guess we have different goals..Like you feel like you never lived. I have no regrets in that I have lived, but I wish like you, I had my career in order by now."

 

So I guess everyone is different. And I guess we always want what we dont have....Like if I didnt have the job and education I would probably think my life could be better with them....

[basscatcher]

I didn't mean all of those (no place to live, no money, no sex, no relationship, no family) but one or more of those. But nevertheless I was startled to learn that you have actually gone through each one of those!

 

You are a strong woman padam, hats off to you! I seriously got some learning to do from you!

 

Life is a lesson in itself.

Be grateful if you haven't suffered the worst.

Be grateful if you have because you learned more then most.

 

Either way you win.

Either way you lose.

 

Everything is equal in the end.

 

I need to be lifted up at times.

I need to be coddled at times.

I need to be left alone at times.

I need to suffer at times.

I need to be saved at times.

 

I don't think of myself as intelligent. I can and very often am a 'dumb' blonde in the truest sense. At other times, usually when its a critical or strssful time, I am at my smartest and excel above others easily.

 

Every bit of pain, every struggle, every heartache, every accomplishment is a way for me to use my life lesson as a example and help for someone else. It is the only logical explaination I can come up with for why I have lived in so many walks of life..

 

For many reasons I have been in my shoes. Many people have told me to do this or do that without knowing all the facts and the matters of the different situations that have given me struggles in life.

 

Injury, depression, low-self worth, single parent, lack of transportation, no college education, lack of experience, abusive spouse, a doubtful and abusive parent, lack of support, fear, many obsticles have been in my way in life and I still persue forward.

 

I have made many, many, many close, loving, dear and generous friends.

 

One of them passed away this week. I looked up to her as a mother figure/grandmother figure/friend since we meet in a hell-hole work place. Our friendship didn't come easy. She and I were 32 years apart in age. I was in my mid 20s when I met her. Wet behind the ears, in a rotten marriage, making bad choices, depressed, angry, defensive, depressed and she was a part of snapping me back into place with love, tough love, concern and complete understanding of what I was living.

 

I know what I have learned I must pass on the wisdom when I can. It is not for me to keep.

I don't know everything and I'm not the smartest cookie.

BUT--I do believe that the lessons we learn are for a reason. If not for ourselves then for others.

[noclobber]

Lets see...I am 27. I have everything that looks great on paper... I am an attorney with a high paying job, I am a fairly attractive person, and have a very nice husband whom I love to bits. Sounds great right? My happiness scale is about a 4.

 

The career I have is not really even close to the one I wanted...I am from an Asian family which kind of pushes your career choice. I am a pure creative working as a patent attorney....I have to continue that for a couple years at least to pay off what I paid for law school.

 

I had a very traumatic childhood. My mother ruined my late teen/early adult years and continues to do so due to her borderline/overly possesive behaviors.

 

My marriage...I cannot focus on it because I carry so much baggage from years of trauma from mom... All I want to do is move far away and I cant. We are in the process of buying a home, and I cant even be happy about that because well...all I want to do is run far away and the home keeps me from doing that. I have always wanted to travel, live be happy, like a regular young person, but have never been able to...I have no enthusiasm about having children, because I feel like I have never had the opportunity to live life my way yet... This all clearly disturbs my husband, rightfully so.

 

Regret?? I had the opportunity of making my dream of moving far away come true when my husband got offered a promotion out of state. I WAS Stupid enough to tell him to give it up because I was scared of not getting a job. The dumbest mistake of my life.

 

Clearly, I am now in therapy trying to learn to adjust and be happy with the kind of life I never wanted or imagined for myself. Its like living someone else's life...

 

Control?? I think YOU have a LOT more control when you are single. Yuo can do whatever the hell you want. There are disappointments, yes, but right now, there is a lot you can do....

 

confusedgal I can perfectly relate to you! I am also an Asian, Indian to be specific. I think you can clearly understand what I am feeling. Just like you my life is great on paper - graduate education and well paying job. But am I happy? No, in fact I am miserable. I think I have missed a lot because I grew up in the strict Indian culture that does not allow you to do the things you want to. I hate it, hate it to the core. I am ashamed of it. But its too late.... I can't be young again and enjoy the pleasures of my youth. I am already 30 years old... and feel like sh*t.

 

I so adore the Americans. They do things that they want to and nobody messes in their business. They go for what they want! Whether they end up rich and successful or poor and miserable is a different story. What matters is regardless of whether their choice is poor or good they made their own choice!!! I don't even think I ever got to make choices in my life let alone good ones or bad ones.

[ConfusedGal]

No CLobber. I am INDIAN as well....

[noclobber]

No CLobber. I am INDIAN as well....

 

 

This is a pleasant surprise! I take it that you were born and raised in this country. I have been in the USA only for 7 years now.

 

I can also pretty much understand why you call yourself ConfusedGal

 

As a fellow Indian I do hope that you can relate to my frustrations and disappointments in life!

[ConfusedGal]

Noclobber, I am 27 and am facing a quarter life crisis of sorts, as it seems like you are... Actually, in India, a large amount of parents have REALLY changed...They give their kids a lot more room than our folks do here... Like my husband's parents. THey are totally broad minded and he can tell them whatever he wants and they actually LISTEN. They are in India. They also treat me like an adult.

 

My parents never have and never will treat me like an adult...And even if I try to be one, they shoot me down. Everything is about respect. If I say anything, they have been disrespected and I have been "brainwashed" by my husband.

 

My parents have developed a warped little world of their own. They live in a bubble. They have unrealistic expectations from me and constantly give me examples of other "god daughters". I feel like my life is passing by every day and suddenly I feel like I have never lived it. Its scary. Somoetimes, even though I love my husband, I want to run away from it all and go live the way I want, the way I should have lived... But I couldnt hurt him like that...But if I am so unhappy, how can I make him happy?? He actually doesnt get it cause he lived it up, andhis folks were very normal...

 

But now, here I am, sitting in my fancy office, the youngest attorney at my firm, and feeling like "Is this my life? Is this all there is? "

[ConfusedGal]

Noclobber... Yeah, I relate. Do your parents live here in the US or in India?

[noclobber]

Noclobber... Yeah, I relate. Do your parents live here in the US or in India?

 

I was born and raised in India. I came to the USA when I was 24 yrs old.

 

My parents are not very strict but what pisses me off now is the Indian culture. I guess it has robbed me of the joy of life. I seriously want to turn the clock back and live a more happy life but I know I can't. I am stuck now

 

I can emphathize with your situation. You want to be free but you are married. And forgive me if I am wrong, but did you get to choose him or was he chosen by your parents based on religion, caste, education, money, horoscope... blah blah blah... you know the drill. Were you allowed to date? And even if you were, was it like the real American way of dating? Did you have a fun youth or do you only remember going to school and doing those assignments and preparing for SAT? Did you ever get to make your own choices - good or bad?

 

huh... I am fed up with it all!

[ConfusedGal]

Noclobber, my story is interesting. My mom "introduced" me when I went to India at the age of 14, to her best friend's son. THey had the intention that much later, we would get married. I was a kid. And I DID like him...I had a crush..He wa a few years older than. He was 19 at the time. Obviously, he saw me as a kid and didnt take it all seriously.

 

So when I came back to the US, both of our moms kept pushing us to talk, write letters blah blah. Anyways, again I had a crush so I was happy with it. I dont think he was that into it... But then when I was in college, he visited..By this time he was in grad school in Australia. And this time, for real, we really liked each other.

 

Sounds hunky dory right?? NOPE. I have an INCREDIBLY controlling mom. My brother and I were trained to never stand up for ourselves in front of our folks. My husband was not. So when he responded to my mom's irrational behavior, he was "disrespectful" ("izzat" is everything) and mom suddenly hated him. By this time, we both really loved each other...

 

It got worse. He moved to the US, and struggled a LOT to get here and all... My mom liked the idea of us getting together initially cause her best friend was loaded...They wer ein a joint family, broke apart, and lost their money. Guess what? Mom didnt like her best friend so much anymore thinking is was her who was tricked.

 

So they tried to get me and him to break up, because SHE didnt want it anymore... And the ironic part, even though my parents are from India, my mom constantly goes on about how two faced people from India are. She thinks they have been "cleansed" because they have been here 30 years. In my eyes, my mom is the most two faced. Half of the reason she says she hates people from INdia is to taunt me because my husband and his wonderful parents are from there..

 

Also because she hates her own inlaws, and doesnt want Dad to go because she is scared he will be "brainwashed" by his family. He hasnt gone in 22 years. And now he is like a puppet...

 

I have gone through hell and you can probably better understand because you are Indian too...You can understand how dramatic things can get. My parents say dialogues right out of Hindi movies. I dont know if you have seen "Baghbaan", where the parents are perfect and kids are evil... I get examples of that movie all the time (Sorry to those reading this post who are not indian and have no clue what I am talking about...)

 

I got married at 23 in a court ceremony. My parents wer emiserable and made sure to make my life the same for a long time.. Needless to say, I have never had real happiness, normality, or freedom in my life.

[noclobber]

Noclobber, my story is interesting. My mom "introduced" me when I went to India at the age of 14, to her best friend's son. THey had the intention that much later, we would get married. I was a kid. And I DID like him...I had a crush..He wa a few years older than. He was 19 at the time. Obviously, he saw me as a kid and didnt take it all seriously.

 

So when I came back to the US, both of our moms kept pushing us to talk, write letters blah blah. Anyways, again I had a crush so I was happy with it. I dont think he was that into it... But then when I was in college, he visited..By this time he was in grad school in Australia. And this time, for real, we really liked each other.

 

Sounds hunky dory right?? NOPE. I have an INCREDIBLY controlling mom. My brother and I were trained to never stand up for ourselves in front of our folks. My husband was not. So when he responded to my mom's irrational behavior, he was "disrespectful" ("izzat" is everything) and mom suddenly hated him. By this time, we both really loved each other...

 

It got worse. He moved to the US, and struggled a LOT to get here and all... My mom liked the idea of us getting together initially cause her best friend was loaded...They wer ein a joint family, broke apart, and lost their money. Guess what? Mom didnt like her best friend so much anymore thinking is was her who was tricked.

 

So they tried to get me and him to break up, because SHE didnt want it anymore... And the ironic part, even though my parents are from India, my mom constantly goes on about how two faced people from India are. She thinks they have been "cleansed" because they have been here 30 years. In my eyes, my mom is the most two faced. Half of the reason she says she hates people from INdia is to taunt me because my husband and his wonderful parents are from there..

 

Also because she hates her own inlaws, and doesnt want Dad to go because she is scared he will be "brainwashed" by his family. He hasnt gone in 22 years. And now he is like a puppet...

 

I have gone through hell and you can probably better understand because you are Indian too...You can understand how dramatic things can get. My parents say dialogues right out of Hindi movies. I dont know if you have seen "Baghbaan", where the parents are perfect and kids are evil... I get examples of that movie all the time (Sorry to those reading this post who are not indian and have no clue what I am talking about...)

 

I got married at 23 in a court ceremony. My parents wer emiserable and made sure to make my life the same for a long time.. Needless to say, I have never had real happiness, normality, or freedom in my life.

 

wow that's quite a story! but you did manage to get married to the same guy right?

 

I can relate to a lot of things... lots. For example, how we are considered to be dis-respectful if we stand up for ourselves, having to choose life-partners according the parents' likes and dislikes which in turn is based on how well loaded the other person's family is.

 

You got married when you were 23. That seems to be too early.. I am 30 yrs old now and still don't feel like getting married. And I keep resenting the fact that I lost out on my youth..

 

God, is there anything that we can do ConfusedGal?

[basscatcher]

God, is there anything that we can do..........

Never give up.

Always keep hope when you feel you don't have any.

Keep supportive friends close and always give back to them what they give you.

Never be afraid to reach out for help (of any kind...).

Don't be too proud or too pietyful of yourself.

Remind yourself there is someone worse off then you.

Make the best of out everything.

Always seek the possitive in everything even when it seems there isn't.

Listen to criticsm-there is a grain of truth.

Follow your instincts.

Don't condem youself purposely.

 

Possitive reaps possitive; negative reaps negative.

[noclobber]

Never give up.

Always keep hope when you feel you don't have any.

Keep supportive friends close and always give back to them what they give you.

Never be afraid to reach out for help (of any kind...).

Don't be too proud or too pietyful of yourself.

Remind yourself there is someone worse off then you.

Make the best of out everything.

Always seek the possitive in everything even when it seems there isn't.

Listen to criticsm-there is a grain of truth.

Follow your instincts.

Don't condem youself purposely.

 

Possitive reaps possitive; negative reaps negative.

 

Thanx padameckla...

 

But its just so tough when you realize all the things that you have missed out on life just because you were born in a different culture... a controlling one at that. And even more hurting is the fact that there is no way you can become young again and make up for your losses.

 

If I lose money I can earn it back but what I am talking about here is my youth.... time... something that I cannot get back.

 

I am old... thats' the truth and hard fact. My body is not going to be the same again... My energy levels and enthusiasm is never going to be the same again... most bloody importantly I will never ever have the same opportunities ever again...

[RecordProducer]

I am just being curious: Are you guys happy with your life as it is now? Did you get the things that you wanted? Do you feel a sense of control about the things happening in your life?

Yes, yes, and yes. I had been unhappy my whole life until I married my husband 7 months ago. Of course, while we dated for a year and a half, I was happy because of our love and hope that we'd be together some day, which became true.

 

In order to be happy, yes, you have to achieve your goals. I have a few more goals that I want to achieve. My next goals are to be a good wife and mother, finish more songs, pursue my musical career, and succeed in the music industry. I want to make new friends in the US also and travel to various destinations. I want to get my private pilot's license. I want to learn to play guitar. I want to help my children excel at school.

 

I have a feeling that I can make it all. Once you achieve one goal, you feel the strength to go on and on and "conquer the world."