SHortyAnGel Posted June 20, 2006 Share Posted June 20, 2006 Hi, Last Night as i was getting ready to go th sleep my usual routine... a thought came to me... that has never has crossed my mind before... i started to think if the implication of MM has on me & any future relationships. I know now that if by chance i do start having a R w/ someone one of my greatest fears would be them leaving... this may cause an impact of me acutally commiting to the R... Has anyone moved on from the A & acutally found some better than MM... has the A changed you view on R?... Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted June 22, 2006 Share Posted June 22, 2006 I can only tell you from my perspective. Yes, I have moved on. Yes, I have found men who treat me better - because they were also available!! They didn't have to hide anything. So we could actually enjoy each other without all the other crap that goes on in an affair. Have I loved them like I loved my exMM? No. Unequivocably No. But I have no choice but to keep on moving on. And in doing so, and dating again, I HAVE learned that I can be treated better, that I CAN trust again. But I am also more aware now of the pitfalls in relationships and I am more realistic about them. I don't worry about whether they will leave me. Only because I have not been in a relationship yet where I have fallen in love where that would matter to me. But I also know that if that were to happen - and I fall in love - and I lose them for whatever reason, at least I know I loved. And if it didn't work out, there was a reason. I don't know what my future holds in store. Do I still love exMM? Yes. Do I wish we could be together forever? Yes. Do I think this is realistic? NO! You have to learn - in time - to open up your heart again. It took me a long time. And yes, my heart is open and willing and waiting and searching. Because I will not live the rest of my days in a miserable existence because I do not have exMM. I have to do what is best for me now. I'll be damned if I'm going to look back at my life and see that I wasted it because I wasn't allowing my heart to open up. If I never find anyone that I feel the way I do about my exMM, at least I can say I tried. Link to post Share on other sites
bunset Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 I can only tell you from my perspective. Yes, I have moved on. Yes, I have found men who treat me better - because they were also available!! They didn't have to hide anything. So we could actually enjoy each other without all the other crap that goes on in an affair. Have I loved them like I loved my exMM? No. Unequivocably No. But I have no choice but to keep on moving on. And in doing so, and dating again, I HAVE learned that I can be treated better, that I CAN trust again. But I am also more aware now of the pitfalls in relationships and I am more realistic about them. I don't worry about whether they will leave me. Only because I have not been in a relationship yet where I have fallen in love where that would matter to me. But I also know that if that were to happen - and I fall in love - and I lose them for whatever reason, at least I know I loved. And if it didn't work out, there was a reason. I don't know what my future holds in store. Do I still love exMM? Yes. Do I wish we could be together forever? Yes. Do I think this is realistic? NO! You have to learn - in time - to open up your heart again. It took me a long time. And yes, my heart is open and willing and waiting and searching. Because I will not live the rest of my days in a miserable existence because I do not have exMM. I have to do what is best for me now. I'll be damned if I'm going to look back at my life and see that I wasted it because I wasn't allowing my heart to open up. If I never find anyone that I feel the way I do about my exMM, at least I can say I tried. Hellloooooo Darlin' !! You are Sooooooo right! thank you for being here.. I now know that my A is meant to teach me this. Yes it will affect other relationships. But I'm fairly sure I'll be better at them than I am now! I gotta get out of my marriage for my sake, my kid's sake and my husbands sake. Yeah, would be nice if it was for MM sake, too... but noooooo, I doubt it. My heart isn't right at this moment, and the only time it has been for many years, was when I was carrying on the A. Gotta take a pretty hefty knock in the head to set it right, sometimes. Stupid, huh? Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Hi Bunset, I gotta say, I've read your last few posts and I wanted to say to you that I think we are both on the same wavelength. Unfortunately I'm going to post a new thread shortly about what's going on with me now. Just to get it out, I guess. I'm sure I won't act on it and I'll feel better tomorrow, as that's what always seems to happen, but I have to get it out of my system, and this is the only place I can do it. It seems its just part of the process. Link to post Share on other sites
bunset Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 MO.. Looks like that's what we're here for. Just get it out. Link to post Share on other sites
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