should I stay

[ironworker]

I'm in love with the most wonderful woman but at times I wonder about her commitment to me.I recently found that every relationship she has ever had she's cheated.This I found out after she said yes to marriage.I often get phone calls where the person wont say anything or the guy takes a second before he sais anything,like wrong number or asks for someone else.That and she threatened to kill me if I ever left her during a recent disagreement we had.She's never acted like this way before with a man is what her family sais.I truly love her more than I can say but I have my doubts.What would you do?

[Dragonflys]

Ironworker

 

This one sounds really selfish, dangerous and hateful.

 

I would run like hell from this women, she will make you miserable if she is capable of making threats like that. Her history is not something to condemn her, unless you have proof of current misdemeanors.

 

I'd say ask her about that comment, and why she said it, and if she cannot explain herself as her to seek help or get away.

 

Oliver

I'm in love with the most wonderful woman but at times I wonder about her commitment to me.I recently found that every relationship she has ever had she's cheated.This I found out after she said yes to marriage.I often get phone calls where the person wont say anything or the guy takes a second before he sais anything,like wrong number or asks for someone else.That and she threatened to kill me if I ever left her during a recent disagreement we had.She's never acted like this way before with a man is what her family sais.I truly love her more than I can say but I have my doubts.What would you do?

[Miss Mojo]

hi ironworker,

 

she's wonderful....yet she threatened to kill you if you leave? this also equates to emotional blackmail. she is manipulating you with threats. real wonderful of her. very childish too. of course, i do not know all her other qualities. you do. but what you have described here would be enough to make the average person feel that she can't be that wonderful after all. personally, i would wave goodbye to anyone who ever spoke such rubbish to me. it's probably all idle threats anyway. threats should not come into genuine, loving relationships. what is she going to do next? boil your bunny for dinner? i don't blame you for having your doubts.

 

i understand that you are concerned about her previous cheating ways. it would be easy to think "once a cheater, always a cheater" and believe there is a pattern she follows. of course, i don't think that "once a cheater, always a cheater" applies to everybody who cheats. i think you should give her the benefit of the doubt until you know for sure whether she has cheated on you or not. you have the right to know what all these phone calls are about because they are making you feel uneasy.

 

i think she also needs to learn to act rationally and maturely. a counsellor would probably be the person for her to see right now. you also can't take her family's word as gospel. how do they know how she acted towards previous boyfriend's when it was just her and her guy? people who manipulate in relationships are also very good at manipulating others around them.

 

i think you need to have a good talk to her and tell her how you feel about the phone calls and about her ridiculous threat to kill you if you leave. she needs to understand that this kind of behaviour is bound to make anyone think twice about the kind of person they are with. she's obviously not thinking straight, and she needs someone to point her in the right direction, if that's possible.

 

best wishes

[Tony T]

I really love women who are up front and honest. I could really love a lady who had the honesty and fortitude to tell me she would take my life if I ever left her. There are spousal murders everyday where the victims don't get that kind of advanced warning.

 

So when she kills you, you would have known where her head was in advance. I think that's a real advantage in a healthy, loving relationship.

 

Make a signed statement and submit it to the police for their records so they don't have to waste a lot of taxpayer money investigating your death.

 

I know how you feel about loving her. I would absolutely die for a woman I loved who threatened to kill me.