Update, looking for input

[Gunny376]

Some states require you to inform the other party that your recording, others don't, (i.e. Alabama)

 

Some recording devices issue an audible "beep" when recording takes place

 

 

Some home telephones/aswering machines will allow you to record the conversation, check your owner's manual

 

Radio Shack sells this little deal. One end of it is suction cup (Adam's Cup) microphone which sticks to the listening end of the phone, the other end is a 5mm jack that will plug into a handheld tape recorder to record the conversation

 

Check with your Attorney.

 

Guns

[bkz]

Thank you all for your input. Alot has happend in the last week or so.

 

Her and OM are done. Dont know what happend but they're finished. She wrote me a letter and said it was because of my threats but I never threatend him. Matter a fact those of you who know my story (mz. P.) know I actually chatted with him for an hour at her house when I ran into him there a couple of months ago. Im pretty sure most would have at least threatend him if not pounded him into the ground but I just talked to the dip **** and listend to what he had to say. She is completely loosing it at this point, mabye hes starting to see her for what she is? Or mabye she saw him for what he is? Dunno but I feel MUCH better knowing hes not around my kids anymore.

 

Problem is now shes trying to be my freind. She was at her parents the other night and even spent the night there, something shes NEVER done. She was talking about us and how if she could just let some things go we couldve made it. My father inlaw told her to give it up and has told me to NEVER take her back it would just end up the same again and hes right. Its hard cause if im nice to her like ive been the last few days then im meeting some of her emotional needs (and there is no needier person on this earth) and she starts warming up to me. She even called me last night about her pool being cloudy and what to do about it. I guess im affraid if I become freinds with her again we'll end up getting back together? She isnt going to her phsycologist any more and she still hasnt done anything to take care of her issued.

 

At this point ive really moved on. Im seing someone a little and do have a real connection with her but mostly as a freind at this point. My W knows ive seen a couple of differant girls the last couple months and has accused me to her parents of seing others that I havent. My father inlaw set her stright the other night and told her im not seing anyone, he said that seemed to put her at ease and she soffend up to him quite a bit. Dont know why she would really care at this point? She did break into my house again the other day and right in a journal a girl (just a freind) gave me for a b-day gift. In the letter she actually wrote "I dont know why were getting a divorce. I ask god every day why he put us together and why we cant make things work". Along with this she continued to blame me for her break up with OM and for the problems we've had.

 

Her perception of whats happend is sooooooo off!! She stated in the letter when she brought up divorce she wanted me to hug her and tell her everything would be ok and tell her I love her and was sorry. Well thats EXACTLY what I did!!! I couldnt cound how many times I told her and wrote her how sorry I was for what had happend and how I didnt meet some of her needs but she just doesnt remember it I guess? Anyhow im just not sure how to handle her at this point? Im affraid if I let her in too much i'll want to be with her again and at this point shes done nothing to show any of us shes ready to be in a healthy relationship, it would be more out of need than love I think for her?

 

Id like to think we could build a freindship and mabye a year or so down the road? Who knows what may happen? Her step dad and my mom are completely sure the worst thing that could happen is us get back together. If that happend then id just go back to taking care of her and shed never get help. Right now they think shes heading for something bad, she does look like crap and the other day when she came over she started crying at least three times. Shes VERY emotional right now.

 

What do you all think? FYI im still going through with the divorce, I just dont know if I should be there for her at all of not? She really seems to be needing me and if im there for her I can see how much it meens to her, but its kinda messin me up a bit to be honest as ive finally gotten to the point were ive move on. I cant understand why id still want to make things work with her down the road? I mean all my freinds, her step dad and my mom are COMPLETELY against it so why arent I? I mean I see things arent right now but im looking down the road and thinking also about my kids and whats best for them?

[Mz. Pixie]

What do you all think? FYI im still going through with the divorce, I just dont know if I should be there for her at all of not? She really seems to be needing me and if im there for her I can see how much it meens to her, but its kinda messin me up a bit to be honest as ive finally gotten to the point were ive move on. I cant understand why id still want to make things work with her down the road? I mean all my freinds, her step dad and my mom are COMPLETELY against it so why arent I? I mean I see things arent right now but im looking down the road and thinking also about my kids and whats best for them?

 

B- bless your heart.

 

First of all, HELL NO. I do not think you should be there for her. That's why she has friends and she should have taken that into consideration when she started screwing OM. If she needed you then she should have smartened up and stopped the destruction of your marriage. You are not her friend. She is your enemy right now, even though you love her- because she is the one who has caused all of this suffering to you and the kids most of all.

 

She's still lying. She still hasn't faced up to what she's done. She still wants to try and blow smoke up everyone's ass and try to make them believe it's all your fault. If she were truly repentant and being honest then yeah, I could see trying to work on the marriage. She filed. She wants to take those kids from you AND have you support her. COME ON MAN! She wrote you that letter- and probably kept a copy of it- to use against you in court. I'm speaking specifically of the one where she said it was because you threatened him. She's trying to set you up for court with all of this crap. And you're sitting there oblivious to her actions.

 

What happens to her is not your responsibility. You do not need to be meeting her emotional needs period. She needs to find someone else to do that, and she will- it's only a matter of time. She's much too unstable and too medicated to be on her own. People like her are CRAFTY B. (my mom was just like this so I know) They always cry about how miserable they are and how they don't want to live but in reality, they are only wanting attention. If she's threatening suicide and stuff, call the authorities on her instead of giving her attention. THAT would be one for the court system!

 

She is poison. As long as she continues to lie and not accept responsibility there can be no reconciliation. Don't think for a minute she's not sitting there thinking "Oh gosh, let me see how I can get what I want from B" or get her jollys out of trying to further manipulate her.

 

Get out of the drama. Keep your kids out of it as much as possible. There is more to life than this and after everything you deserve it.

[blind_otter]

No, she's just trying to pull you back in to the drama. IME the best thing to do when someone is spazzing out and acting like a child is to let them do it, and deal with their own consequences. That's part of being an adult (I know you know this) -- learning how to deal with your emotions and actions, and being accountable for your choices and actions. She made her bed, now she has to lie in it.

 

Keep doing what you're doing, bkz.