heart torn away

[lostlove13]

2 weeks ago me and my boyfriend took a break in our relationship, cause we were having some problems with spending time together. well this is how it all started....

We met and he had never dated a black girl he only dated white girls but he said I was beuatiful and it was worth the change. It all started out real good he was treatin me real good, we spent alot but not to much time together just enough. Then he moved in with me. But he would go to work come back to my house we would chill or go to his moms house which is an hour away but it was somethin we always did that is until about a month ago when he started going to his moms house without me and not come home till 1 or 2 in the morning. then he started to go to other places without me, if I asked him could I go, He would say no. All he wanted to do was be with his friends and in the beginning he wanted to show me to his friends now its like he's trying to hide me. He never had an interest havin females as friends but now he just has to have them, and times when we were suppose to spend together he would be with this one girl, she would have him when it was our time. I asked him did he have feelin for her and he was like no. She aint my type, but she always callin and textin him. Even though were suppose to be on a break we talk on the phone now all of a sudden he doesnt have an interest in callin me, I have to call him. His whole family loves me but they dont understand whats the problem.Hell neither do I. I was the only girl he had that was always there for him no matter what if he was mad, sad, in a bad mood, sick. He is my heart and I love him to death I just dont know what to do.

[Kengne]

2 weeks ago me and my boyfriend took a break in our relationship, cause we were having some problems with spending time together. well this is how it all started....

We met and he had never dated a black girl he only dated white girls but he said I was beuatiful and it was worth the change. It all started out real good he was treatin me real good, we spent alot but not to much time together just enough. Then he moved in with me. But he would go to work come back to my house we would chill or go to his moms house which is an hour away but it was somethin we always did that is until about a month ago when he started going to his moms house without me and not come home till 1 or 2 in the morning. then he started to go to other places without me, if I asked him could I go, He would say no. All he wanted to do was be with his friends and in the beginning he wanted to show me to his friends now its like he's trying to hide me. He never had an interest havin females as friends but now he just has to have them, and times when we were suppose to spend together he would be with this one girl, she would have him when it was our time. I asked him did he have feelin for her and he was like no. She aint my type, but she always callin and textin him. Even though were suppose to be on a break we talk on the phone now all of a sudden he doesnt have an interest in callin me, I have to call him. His whole family loves me but they dont understand whats the problem.Hell neither do I. I was the only girl he had that was always there for him no matter what if he was mad, sad, in a bad mood, sick. He is my heart and I love him to death I just dont know what to do.

 

First of all - I don't believe in 'breaks'. What exactly does that mean? Are you broken up 'temporarily'? Are you allowed to see i.e. date other people? Are you allowed to kiss or be intimate with other people? It's so ambiguous. and that's why I take a do-or-die attitude with rel'ships. Either we are 100% together - or we are 100% NOT together. NO half-steppin. No grey area.

 

But for the purposes of this post... I will assume y'all are NOT together i.e. he is a FREE agent... BUT you two are supposedly still interested in trying to rekindle the rel'ship by having some time & space apart.

 

Ok... now it really doesn't matter all the mess that happened before. Maybe he started hanging out without you because he wanted some ALONE time. That is normal. What is not normal is this sudden abundance of female friends he wanted to have, ESP the heffa who was calling him down 24/7. VERY FISHY!!! I have been there, done that and the so-called 'friend' ended up being ONE of my ex-bfs MANY friends-with-benefits. So if your gut is saying smth is wrong, PLEASE BELIEVE IT. Intuition rarely lies.

 

But moving on since y'all are on a break you can't really take him to task about this suspicious 'friend'... what you NEED to do to keep his interest is please, STOP initiating contact. Let HIM contact you. If he doesn't call, it's because he doesn't want to talk to you. No if ands or buts. Is he the one that initiated this 'break'? Then if anything - it means he wants some time AWAY from you.

 

So give him that time.

 

Just let him be right now... go on with your life, and focus on YOU. No man should be your earth, your sun, your moon, your everything. YOU need to be all that - FOR YOU!

 

I think you should take this 'break' to get your life in order... take up new hobbies... hang out more & more with your friends... shoot, make some new (male) friends!.. lose weight, get a nair hairstyle, whateva! Anything to keep your mind off of him.

 

And last... please stop talking to his family for now. Because I'm sure they are harassing him to get back with you and that will only annoy him and push him even FURTHER away from you. Great the family loves you but guess what? Newsflash: hello, you are not in love with, or dating the family. They cannot make him love you or change his mind to want to get back together with you. Only HE can change his mind - and the only thing that you can do about that is to give him this space he wants.

 

Holla!

 

K.