Attn:Kate; re:Too young, or to old

[Unsure]

Hi-

 

I agree with alot of what you are saying about how he makes you feel special, he acts older, etc. I'm usually not one who would say age matters, but in my opinion, I think it does here. This is just my two cents, but no matter how well you get along, no matter what the connection is, and so on, there is just no way a GUY who is 22 can be near the same mental/emotional outlook of a 31 year old FEMALE. I'm sorry to sound sterotypical, but no matter how amazing he comes off, or how mature he acts, it just doesn't cut it as far as life experience, needs, goals, etc. I think you are in very different places in life, and with a gap that large, there is just nothing that can make up for it. I know he has ALOT of growing up to do, and as for you, I would say you are going to be needing/wanting things he simply can't provide you, even is he's amazing- he just hasn't lived long enough. No offense, but I would also be a little skeptical of a 22 year old males motives/intentions- they are not any where wanting to settle down at that age and I would be worried he still wants to play the field and so on, so I wouldn't get into a serious thing with him- no matter what he might say. You say you hang out with friends? His or yours? How did you meet? What do you do for fun? Is it possible you could just be good friends? Best wishes !

[BeenThere]

True, perhaps someone younger lacks in the "experience" department, but wouldn't you agree that there are a lot of older men out there who are just as inexperienced, immature and seriously lacking in their ability to commit to a long-term relationship? The odds of meeting someone who shares your outlook does not increase or decrease with age. It depends mostly upon the individual. True, an older person may have experienced more out of life, but that does not necessarily make for a more settled, well-rounded individual. What makes a person is how they processes their experiences -- whether they grow from them and become stronger; or allow their past to become "baggage" and themselves to become emotional cripples.

 

And exactly what "things" would an older woman want from a younger man that he "couldn't provide?" If you are speaking "materialistically"...than shame on you! No one, male or female, should ever look to a relationship to provide them with financial support or material gain. Those old-fashioned notions are both antiquated and absurd. The only thing this woman should be looking for in a partner is what she has obviously already found...HAPPINESS and COMPANIONSHIP...however short-lived.

 

The thing is -- and I hate to be bias against my own gender -- but women tend to push too hard and too fast for... "FOREVER."

 

And "why?"

 

Why can't we just learn to enjoy the moment -- The people who make us happy in our lives right now? Why must we always focus so much on the potential for the "long-term?" Friendships/Relationships should be enjoyed, one day at a time. And if those days turn into years, than be thankful for the blessing. There is no guarantee that life OR relationships will last forever. There's no promise that a "tomorrow" will even come, and not even a marriage vow will keep two people together who have grown apart.

 

I say; if you're happy with the person you're with, than don't feel guilty about it. Don't ruin the joy by over analyzing possibilities that might not even exist. And most of all, don't event problems that aren't even there!

Hi- I agree with alot of what you are saying about how he makes you feel special, he acts older, etc. I'm usually not one who would say age matters, but in my opinion, I think it does here. This is just my two cents, but no matter how well you get along, no matter what the connection is, and so on, there is just no way a GUY who is 22 can be near the same mental/emotional outlook of a 31 year old FEMALE. I'm sorry to sound sterotypical, but no matter how amazing he comes off, or how mature he acts, it just doesn't cut it as far as life experience, needs, goals, etc. I think you are in very different places in life, and with a gap that large, there is just nothing that can make up for it. I know he has ALOT of growing up to do, and as for you, I would say you are going to be needing/wanting things he simply can't provide you, even is he's amazing- he just hasn't lived long enough. No offense, but I would also be a little skeptical of a 22 year old males motives/intentions- they are not any where wanting to settle down at that age and I would be worried he still wants to play the field and so on, so I wouldn't get into a serious thing with him- no matter what he might say. You say you hang out with friends? His or yours? How did you meet? What do you do for fun? Is it possible you could just be good friends? Best wishes !