dealing with the EX

[Cupcake]

We've all read the horror stories of how relationships are ruined because of OW/OM. It's double trouble when the OW/OM is an EX. I broke up with my XBF because he had an XGF whom he considered to be his best friend in the whole world. (THERE ARE NO CHILDREN INVOLVED)

 

He seemed sincere about her being just a friend. But he admitted that they had been sex buddies before he met me. I became suspicious of her when she got upset over him and me moving in together after 1 year of dating. So I suggested the three of us meet for lunch, and talk about the whole thing. He seemed sincere about wanting to keep her as a friend.

 

He gave me no reason to believe he still loved her except she kept demanding his attention and he kept giving it to her. Her anger over our commitment was stressing him out. I felt we needed to set the XGF straight so that she knows their friendship will never be anything more. I thought meeting her would make me more comfortable with their relationship.

 

He told her about my suggestion and she refused. So I called her. She told me that she didn't respect my relationship with him because women have come and gone in his life since she'd known him. But she has always been there and would always be there. She admitted to me that she wanted him back. I was the only problem standing between them.

 

My question is:

 

To all the X's who have remained friends with your X's hoping to get them back, why do you wait? Do you feel guilty about sabbataging their current relationships? What happens if you do get them back? Do you trust them?

 

To all the current lovers who are tolerating the X, how would you respond if the X had told you their true intentions and your BF/GF refuses to do anything about it?

[a4a]

 

To all the current lovers who are tolerating the X, how would you respond if the X had told you their true intentions and your BF/GF refuses to do anything about it?

 

I have tolerated it for a short time....but once it was obvious that intentions were not in our relationships best interest he cut her off cold. If he did not he would have been cut off cold.

 

X's are X's for a reason if there are no children involved I cannot see a reason why communication should continue, unless like myself business is involved with my X so no choice.....but looking forward to an end of that in the near future.

[rkman]

We've all read the horror stories of how relationships are ruined because of OW/OM. It's double trouble when the OW/OM is an EX. I broke up with my XBF because he had an XGF whom he considered to be his best friend in the whole world. (THERE ARE NO CHILDREN INVOLVED)

 

He seemed sincere about her being just a friend. But he admitted that they had been sex buddies before he met me. I became suspicious of her when she got upset over him and me moving in together after 1 year of dating. So I suggested the three of us meet for lunch, and talk about the whole thing. He seemed sincere about wanting to keep her as a friend.

 

He gave me no reason to believe he still loved her except she kept demanding his attention and he kept giving it to her. Her anger over our commitment was stressing him out. I felt we needed to set the XGF straight so that she knows their friendship will never be anything more. I thought meeting her would make me more comfortable with their relationship.

 

He told her about my suggestion and she refused. So I called her. She told me that she didn't respect my relationship with him because women have come and gone in his life since she'd known him. But she has always been there and would always be there. She admitted to me that she wanted him back. I was the only problem standing between them.

 

My question is:

 

To all the X's who have remained friends with your X's hoping to get them back, why do you wait? Do you feel guilty about sabbataging their current relationships? What happens if you do get them back? Do you trust them?

 

To all the current lovers who are tolerating the X, how would you respond if the X had told you their true intentions and your BF/GF refuses to do anything about it?

 

I would never put up with that s***. It's her or you. If it isnt you, then the fac tis that you aren't important enough to him. It's a dirty road when telling someone to choose, unfortunately it does actually have to be done sometimes.

 

I may get flamed, but friends come and go. As you grow up, you and your partner will mature into realizing that you need friends who share a common vision and values with the both of you. That's why as we get older we usually build friendships with other couples and slowly forget about our past. Sure there are the really good freinds which you keep in contact with and hang out with once in a while, those are the best ones. The best friendship is with your partner.