8 signs you are in the Friendzone

[Mary3]

Top 9: Signs You're A Friend not a Boyfriend

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Number 1

 

She asks for favors

Is she regularly asking far more of you than your time and attention? Maybe first she wants to borrow your DVD collection. Then she wants to borrow your truck to move. Have you help her fix something ? Next she wants you to help her move. Yikes !

An interested lady will never ask you for favors or for you to perform lame tasks on her behalf. She'll be focused on one thing only, and that's winning your heart. Furthermore, doing favors for a girl in the hopes that she'll fall for you does not make you a nice guy. It makes you a sucker.

 

Number 2

 

She doesn't touch you

It's well known that an interested woman will brush her fingers against your arm, tickle you or lightly smack you. If none of this playful touching is taking place, it's because she wants to keep her distance.

 

 

 

Number 3

 

She gushes over other men.

Isn't this an obvious sign?

She may talk lovingly of an ex-boyfriend or discuss another guy's attractive qualities.

 

 

 

Number 4

 

She's not on her toes around you. A woman who is trying to make an impression will be intently interested in everything you say and do. In turn, this will lead to a certain amount of suspense. She'll be constantly wondering, "Does he like me?" If she's perfectly at ease around you, that's not necessarily a good thing.

 

 

 

Number 5

 

She doesn't laugh at your jokes.

A sense of humor usually tops a woman's attraction wish list. The importance of making a woman laugh cannot be overstated. If she's not laughing, her panties aren't coming off, its that simple.. If she really is interested romantically, she'll laugh at your jokes, even if they aren't funny.

 

Number 6

 

She brings up other women

"I want to set you up with my good friend Judy."

 

 

 

Number 7

 

She is in charge of what you both do..

When you hang out with her, do you always find yourself doing what she wants ? Does she always insist on going to her favorite hangouts? When was the last time she watched a Action movie with you, or followed you to the car show? An interested woman will always seek out ways to please and at least cater to some of your manly interests.

 

Number 8

 

She uses the Friend-word

The word she uses is : *friends!* If a woman addresses you with the word "friend," you are dead in the water! You never want to be friends with a girl you're attracted to.....

[gfto]

very well said!

[Yamaha]

Guys,

Don't worry or wonder if your in the friends zone. Know how she feels by asking her on a date. All doubt will be removed by this simple task.

[j.carsey]

Not cut or dry... one of my best girlfriends to date started off satisfying 5 of those 8 warnings (friends only) and I had her nekkid in my bed within a couple months

[elijahBailey]

Not entirely true...

 

(1) She asks for favors

 

..... may mean she's gauging how far you'd go to meet her needs, and, consequently, whether you're interested in her.

 

(2) She doesn't touch you

 

..... shy women don't touch men.

 

(3) She is in charge of what you both do..

 

..... because some women are lookin' for a dude they can lead. I've seen it happen.

 

(4) She uses the Friend-word

 

..... is a good sign if she used to call you brother

[kellyp1]

I have asked a guy I would later hook up with for a favor AND I have called I guy I was crazy about a friend. But to me, being friends comes before the rest so I didn't think I was sending the wrong signal...

[allina]

yeah, I guess....

 

For sure don't agree with number one though. If I need something fixed or a little favor I will ask a guy that I'm interested in to do it. I don't expect everything to be done for me but if it's something simple that isn't a burden I will ask away.

[crazy_grl]

Number 1

She asks for favors

 

I've asked the guy I'm fairly interested in now for a couple of favors, moreso than guys I'm not interested in.

 

Number 2

She doesn't touch you

 

I don't usually do much touching. And when I like a guy, I'm less likely to touch him because I get more self-conscious around him.

 

Number 3

She gushes over other men.

 

Some women do this to make a guy jealous.

 

Number 6

She brings up other women

 

Usually true, but not always. When I first met this guy I'm interested in, I was encouraging him to date a specific girl, because I knew if he was with someone, my attraction to him would die out.

 

Number 8

She uses the Friend-word

 

I can recall at least a couple times when I've called a guy I was interested in buddy or friend. But if a girl stresses the word or uses it a lot like she's trying to make a point, then that's probably not a good sign.

 

I agree with Yamaha. The best way to find out if she's interested is to ask her on a date.

[gfto]

I took Mary3's post more as signs you've been demoted to the friend zone with a girl you've been dating for some time. In other words, every single one of those eight things happens when she's dumping you. Most men just don't realize it.

[john1776]

I would think that a woman not asking me for favors at all would indicate a lack of interest in me. Is your post referring to the 8 signs that my girlfriend is about to break up with me? If not then I certainly do believe in being friends before being lovers. A romantic relationship should be based on the highest level of friendship.

 

I will not get romantically involved with a girl unless I've spent quality time with her as a friend for 2 months at the minimum. So a girl touching me at all when she's only a friend would be rather inappropriate to me and I would ask her to stop.

 

Shaking hands and hugging friends are fine but no more than that. I would think something's wrong with a girl touching me in the way you described if she's just a friend. Falling in love takes time. Falling out of love takes time.

[Pink Amulet]

Guys,

Don't worry or wonder if your in the friends zone. Know how she feels by asking her on a date. All doubt will be removed by this simple task.

 

You might also destroy any hope for a fulfilling friendship too!

[crazy_grl]

You might also destroy any hope for a fulfilling friendship too!

 

I don't agree with that. If you ask the girl on a date and she refuses, then you both know where each of you stand. You can quickly move past it and be friends if you want. If a guy keeps hanging around a girl in the hopes that she's into him, it could create a lot of awkwardness, especially if she can tell that he's interested and she's not.

[Outcast]

Number 1

She asks for favors

 

...and doesn't return them or call you other than to ask for favours. However, women know that men like to 'do for' them and so will ask for favours so they can praise the men and thank them for the favours. I can change my own fuses, do my own drilling, etc., but a lot of guys want to do those jobs for their ladies so I asked them to do them for me.

 

Number 2

She doesn't touch you

will brush her fingers against your arm, tickle you or lightly smack you.

 

I hope nobody's smacking anybody and tickling's for kids. I agree with the person who said she may be shy and reserved. I think a better gauge is whether you can get into her personal space. If everytime you get physically close to her she moves away, then you're in trouble. OTOH if she welcomes your being close by or lightly touching her as you stand near her, that's a good sign.

 

Number 3

She gushes over other men.

 

She may talk lovingly of an ex-boyfriend or discuss another guy's attractive qualities.

 

Well be careful about whether she's speaking 'lovingly'. I do speak of people in my past, but I talk about them the way I do about people in any story I tell - not 'lovingly' at all but just in the context of relating events.

 

Number 4

 

She's not on her toes around you. A woman who is trying to make an impression will be intently interested in everything you say and do.

 

Remember that she might be a human - even tired or sick sometimes.

 

If she's perfectly at ease around you, that's not necessarily a good thing.

 

There's not a more wonderful feeling in the world than feeling perfectly comfortable and content in someone's presence. That's an experience you have when you really care about someone, IMHO.

 

Number 5

 

She doesn't laugh at your jokes.

 

OK, this one I'll agree with. Couples have to be able to have fun together - if you can't make her laugh then she's not going to enjoy you long-term.

 

Number 6

 

She brings up other women

"I want to set you up with my good friend Judy."

 

Oh be careful here. She might in fact do that in the hope that you'll say 'Judy? Why? I have what I want right here' or something like that - in short, it might be an attempt at finding out what you think about her and if you're willing to throw her under the bus if someone else comes along.

 

Number 7

 

She is in charge of what you both do..

 

There are fellows who just are not interested in making the social arrangements.

Number 8

 

She uses the Friend-word

The word she uses is : *friends!* If a woman addresses you with the word "friend," you are dead in the water! You never want to be friends with a girl you're attracted to.....

 

Not in the least. She may use 'friend' until you use something else. She may use 'friend' and do so with great warmth and affection. As John said above, friendship can turn into love and is a critical component of a good relationship.

It all depends on the tone of voice and the look in her eyes when she says 'friend'.

 

Shopping lists can mislead you. I wouldn't live by one.

[jerbear]

You might also destroy any hope for a fulfilling friendship too!

 

Sometimes friendships do not work when one has the hots for another. No point putting oneself in agony hoping for something that may not happen?

 

Sometimes one just has to let it go.

[jerbear]

I don't agree with that. If you ask the girl on a date and she refuses, then you both know where each of you stand. You can quickly move past it and be friends if you want. If a guy keeps hanging around a girl in the hopes that she's into him, it could create a lot of awkwardness, especially if she can tell that he's interested and she's not.

 

I've asked her out on a date and specificlaly said it is a date, she agreed. Then we had a chat week later about it, she cancels and wants to get back with her ex. Wants to be friends.

 

I said good bye with friendship not being an option. Not going to be a hollerback boy.

[Mary3]

I don't agree with that. If you ask the girl on a date and she refuses, then you both know where each of you stand. You can quickly move past it and be friends if you want. If a guy keeps hanging around a girl in the hopes that she's into him, it could create a lot of awkwardness, especially if she can tell that he's interested and she's not.

 

I totally agree with this. !

[alphamale]

Number 5

 

She doesn't laugh at your jokes.

A sense of humor usually tops a woman's attraction wish list. The importance of making a woman laugh cannot be overstated. If she's not laughing, her panties aren't coming off, its that simple.. If she really is interested romantically, she'll laugh at your jokes, even if they aren't funny.

this has more to do with the fact that women in general have little or no sense of humour. a guy that can make them laugh has passed a great hurdle. many females think that humour=confidence.

[Pink Amulet]

I don't agree with that. If you ask the girl on a date and she refuses, then you both know where each of you stand. You can quickly move past it and be friends if you want. If a guy keeps hanging around a girl in the hopes that she's into him, it could create a lot of awkwardness, especially if she can tell that he's interested and she's not.

 

I can't personally be friends with men who have informed me of a sexual interest. I wouldn't want to be friends with a man who I wanted to date. It would make it uncomfortable for me. I like to relax around my friends, not wonder if I kiss them on the cheek will they take it as a sign? I let my male friends know where they stand by the fact that I was in a relationship... I guess the situation may change now?

[Tony T]

I always figure if the woman hasn't tried to kill me she's probably interested. Maybe I'm just stuck on myself?

[Mary3]

Number 1

She asks for favors

 

...and doesn't return them or call you other than to ask for favours. However, women know that men like to 'do for' them and so will ask for favours so they can praise the men and thank them for the favours. I can change my own fuses, do my own drilling, etc., but a lot of guys want to do those jobs for their ladies so I asked them to do them for me.PLease let me Clarify this : * If * she is using you and has no intentions of ever getting romantic but she always asks you to tune her car, build an outdoor patio and the like, then she is either (A) A platonic friend who needs alot of help or ( B ) She knows you like her and you would wipe her ceiling fan blades up high just to be near her and impress. If she likes you like in a romantic way, sure she will ask for your help but she is not looking at you like a whipping boy but as a lover. She will balance her favors because she thinks you are the BOMB !

 

Number 2

She doesn't touch you

will brush her fingers against your arm, tickle you or lightly smack you.

 

I hope nobody's smacking anybody and tickling's for kids. I agree with the person who said she may be shy and reserved. I think a better gauge is whether you can get into her personal space. If everytime you get physically close to her she moves away, then you're in trouble. OTOH if she welcomes your being close by or lightly touching her as you stand near her, that's a good sign.

I have been known ( when liking someone ) to do various forms of contact. Now in a friend sense I can take a big guy friend and playfully mimic a punch in the tummy but a man I am interested in I will find excuses to make physical contact. If a woman freezes when a guy gets close then she is either ( A) not interested in him touching her or ( B ) just very shy and that takes a little more work to find out if shes truly interested.

 

Number 3

She gushes over other men.

 

She may talk lovingly of an ex-boyfriend or discuss another guy's attractive qualities.

 

Well be careful about whether she's speaking 'lovingly'. I do speak of people in my past, but I talk about them the way I do about people in any story I tell - not 'lovingly' at all but just in the context of relating events.

 

I have been there when someone who was not over someone else talked about that other person with a dreamy far away look and that usually predicts trouble because they are not OVER that person. I have talked about a favorite past boyfriend but make sure my current love interest knows that ( ex ) he is married with a child and we are just friends now. Its okay to say he or she was a great person but that it did not work out.

Number 4

 

She's not on her toes around you. A woman who is trying to make an impression will be intently interested in everything you say and do.

 

Remember that she might be a human - even tired or sick sometimes.

 

I think the real operative word here is * You * . She is into you and she will let you know by being interested in what you have to say , making sure she finds the time to spend with you , finding things you both enjoy. A disinterested women really does not care about what you want or how to make you happy.

 

If she's perfectly at ease around you, that's not necessarily a good thing.

 

There's not a more wonderful feeling in the world than feeling perfectly comfortable and content in someone's presence. That's an experience you have when you really care about someone, IMHO.

Not the perfectly at ease where she is bored staring at the ceiling knowing you will never make her uncomfortable because you will never get into her personal zone. Yes the at ease feeling of two people that are in love and find comfort being in each others presence is priceless. But the easy going platonic girl buddy who does not take the man seriously and has no real interest in him can be detrimental to him if he mistakes her ease for something else.

Number 5

 

She doesn't laugh at your jokes.

 

OK, this one I'll agree with. Couples have to be able to have fun together - if you can't make her laugh then she's not going to enjoy you long-term.

 

100%

 

Number 6

 

She brings up other women

"I want to set you up with my good friend Judy."

 

Oh be careful here. She might in fact do that in the hope that you'll say 'Judy? Why? I have what I want right here' or something like that - in short, it might be an attempt at finding out what you think about her and if you're willing to throw her under the bus if someone else comes along.

 

While thats an interesting thought, I think if a girl is interested in you and not ( playing games ) the last thing she wants to tell you is about a HOT friend of hers...

 

Number 7

 

She is in charge of what you both do..

 

There are fellows who just are not interested in making the social arrangements.

By this I mean she picks going to Dillards in the Mall and trying on shoes for 3 hours and wants to drag the guy along. I would never do that to a guy because I have been known to be a serious shopper. I save something like that for by myself time. She picks going to see a Chick Flick when in reality she should be asking what kind of movie he likes as well. Name off the 6 playing and find out which one you both would like.

Number 8

 

She uses the Friend-word

The word she uses is : *friends!* If a woman addresses you with the word "friend," you are dead in the water! You never want to be friends with a girl you're attracted to.....

 

Not in the least. She may use 'friend' until you use something else. She may use 'friend' and do so with great warmth and affection. As John said above, friendship can turn into love and is a critical component of a good relationship.

It all depends on the tone of voice and the look in her eyes when she says 'friend'.

While its very true to establish friendship and enjoy truly being around someone but when that person introduces you to their buddies as a friend after 8 months well its pretty self explanatory that after 8 months you are a friend and not a boyfriend.

 

Shopping lists can mislead you. I wouldn't live by one.

 

I realize we all have different ideas. I hope maybe some of these might strike a bell in a guy who's been friends since last xmas and wonders why he has not kissed a girl by this time if he is romantically interested in her.

[Pink Amulet]

If a female is interested in you, as long as she is comfortable (established friendship), you will know about it.

[Mary3]

this has more to do with the fact that women in general have little or no sense of humour. a guy that can make them laugh has passed a great hurdle. many females think that humour=confidence.

 

I have a great sense of humor.! Reading many of your posts Alpha I have fell off the chair and almost pee'd my pants !

[john1776]

I believe in waiting for the woman to initiate the first kiss or first touch and even if & when she does the man should pull away. Don't be so quick to jump on the opportunity to kiss her. Let her make the first move and you pull away.

 

Make her wonder whether or not you are interested. Why should I give her the luxury of knowing without a doubt that I'm interested when I'm having my doubts?

[alphamale]

I believe in waiting for the woman to initiate the first kiss or first touch and even if & when she does the man should pull away. Don't be so quick to jump on the opportunity to kiss her. Let her make the first move and you pull away.

if a woman genuinely wants a particular man there ain't nothing thats gonna get in her way...not even a wife.

[john1776]

if a woman genuinely wants a particular man there ain't nothing thats gonna get in her way...not even a wife.

 

You said a mouthful. If anything she may want him more when she finds out he's married. Why? because it's human nature to want what we cannot have. Her interest level will increase when she realizes she can't have him.