CastorTroy Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 MM, 35 years old, been told by others that i am very attractive. So here is the deal. Wife doesnt care that I go out with my friends to bars/clubs/partys. In fact she doesnt even care to hear about what happens when i go out. So I go out on the weekends, yes I'm a little flirty with the females but it takes two to tango. So the second I tell them that I am married i get treated like I have the plauge. Then i tried not being so upfront about my marital status and i was getting phone numbers left and right only to throw them out at the end of the night. But on occation there were some women who I found attractive and clicked with so I figured "what the hell?" But eventually I brought the marriage subject up and low and behold. I got called every name in the book. There is no physical contact going on here so what seems to be the problem? What is the deal with that? Is it possible to actully make new friends who are female after your married? Women love the attention they are getting but the second they hear something they dont want to hear you are the root of all evil and then some. Before you start calling me names my wife has her share of male friends who she to dinner. We have a very open and trusting relationship. a little insight would be nice Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Most women want to know upfront if someone is married or not. By dancing or flirting with them without letting them know you're married is leading them on. Maybe they feel interested in you...So they spend time with you, thinking hmmmm, he has potiental...Only to find out later that you're married! So, yeah, it pisses them off! They probably feel they've wasted their time on someone who wasn't available to begin with. To act like you're single and give off an energy that you're available isn't good when you're married. Link to post Share on other sites
933KJL Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Hey, singles are looking for other singles to maybe become not single. You are already there and off the market. Why is it such a mystery. If you are looking for that, why not look to a swingers club--they have off site and on site ones and you can flirt as much as you like and they are all on the same page. If you want to take it to the next step--hey that is available as well. But single guys tend to be in the minority there and usually pay a higher cover than a single woman or a couple. Link to post Share on other sites
vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 You don't look like Nicholas Cage do you? Just kidding good movie though Anyways...it kinda concerns me that your wife apparently goes out to dinner with guys alone? I think that's kinda strange, unless it's strictly business related. How does she meet these guys? Well if you're going out to bars/clubs with your guy friends, it's hard for women to tell if your married or not...do you wear your wedding ring? Because that's a dead ringer right there. So you're saying that you don't approach these women, they approach you instead? Are your friends single? It's all about how you act around women, if you're working the room, then most women will assume you're single. If you're more low key and just hang with the buds at the bar or in the corner, then it's less likely that women will think you're single. Women might give you an attitude because you probably flirt or show interest with them at first, THEN you tell them that you're married, SO they might think "what the hell, why did you lead me on like that?" kinda thing. You can have women as friends, but trust me it's hard having opposite sex friends...it usually doesn't work out as just being "friends" Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 There is no physical contact going on here so what seems to be the problem? What is the deal with that? Is it possible to actully make new friends who are female after you're married? So, is it just friendship that you're wanting here? If so, then why the flirting? What are your intentions? Link to post Share on other sites
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 CastorTroy, You are very lame, indeed! You flirt with women in bars... and then you claim to be totally in the dark when they are pissed off that you are married??? How immature can you be? Geez, get a grip. Grow up, dude. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CastorTroy Posted June 23, 2006 Author Share Posted June 23, 2006 Ray Liotta more like it. LOL. The guys my wife goes out with are her brothers freinds who she has known before me. luvtoto I just like meeting people, finding new drinking buddies (male or female) Just cant figure out why women spaz out all the time. I have never said "hey you little hottie, want to f--k?" It seems like women want to be respected as people yet freak out when you try to treat them as a respectable human being. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Maybe it's time you and your wife start going out TOGETHER and having fun, instead of separately...Seems both of you are enjoying your time apart abit too much... Link to post Share on other sites
Author CastorTroy Posted June 23, 2006 Author Share Posted June 23, 2006 We do go out together. She doesnt like to go to bars and I doesnt care if I do. We have very independant lives. The issue isnt between me and my wife, its women who expect everything yet dont know what to do when they have it. Go ahead rip away. LOL Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 I just like meeting people, finding new drinking buddies (male or female) Just cant figure out why women spaz out all the time. I have never said "hey you little hottie, want to f--k?" It seems like women want to be respected as people yet freak out when you try to treat them as a respectable human being. Do you wear your wedding ring to the bars? If you wear your ring, and just be nice to these women...no flirting...it should be ok for you. If your ring is on...there should be no 'telling them later'. They will just assume. I am friends with married men. What's the problem? Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 its women who expect everything yet dont know what to do when they have it. Huh? Can you explain that abit more to me? Or are you referring to your original post about women getting angry when they find out you're married later into the evening... Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 ...the second I tell them that I am married i get treated like I have the plague... Good, because here at Loveshack we encourage women to stay away from married men who act like they're single. I just like meeting people, finding new drinking buddies (male or female). Just cant figure out why women [act offended] all the time. Do you seriously not understand why a woman would be offended by what you're doing? yes I'm a little flirty with the females but it takes two to tango. If you give them all the info upfront before you start tangoing, then I can assure you that no reasonable person will be offended. Sure, they will walk off and not want to flirt with you any more. If you want to "flirt" with "buddies" so bad, why not just flirt with all your male friends? Same thing right? If not, then please examine this idea for the clue you so desperately lack. Is it possible to actully make new friends who are female after your married? Sure. Just not in a singles bar under false pretenses. Really, you need some basic info on male-female interaction. Please ask your wife to give you some basic pointers. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 You have your question answered by yourself: you can't tell them straightforwardly that you're married because they will run for the hills. They see you as a potential boyfriend/husband and feel like they've wasted their time with a MM. Not telling them right away is selfish. You just want to have fun, but they don't. They want to find their soul mate and true love and you're standing in their way by deceiving them. Just be honest about your marital status, tell them after 5-10 minutes and let them know that you're not hitting on them, that you're faithful to your wife, and just want to be friends with them. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 And what if one of those women didn't care that you are married? What if she made a pass at you, kissed you and asked you to f*** her? What then?Would you take the bait and do it cuz you want to? Or would you think, Uh oh, this is has gone TOO FAR and I better RUN now...Then plead the "I didn't think it would go that far..." which really means that you're looking for an ego feed. (Don't get me wrong, it's nice to be looked at and desired by others, but letting it get out of hand is a whole other ballgame...) Link to post Share on other sites
Author CastorTroy Posted June 23, 2006 Author Share Posted June 23, 2006 Thanks for all your replys. Most of you have come up with valid and insightful points. But I'm not quite clear on the deception part. How is talking about your job, sports, the weather, politics etc... being decietful? Back in the day we used to call it small talk. I just find it hard to believe that women are looking for their "significant" other at an after hours bar or a nightclub. Maybe I was misinformed but arent you supposed to stay away from bars and nighclubs when looking for a future husband? And for you soulmate, I think the cheap shot about the male-female interaction and my wife was uncalled for. There seems to be alot of haters in this forum who are quick to judge anything that is different from their own point of view. soulmate you remind me of the women who wrote "the rules" who only got divorced 6 months later after. Link to post Share on other sites
vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 But I'm not quite clear on the deception part. How is talking about your job, sports, the weather, politics etc... being decietful? Back in the day we used to call it small talk. I just find it hard to believe that women are looking for their "significant" other at an after hours bar or a nightclub. Maybe I was misinformed but arent you supposed to stay away from bars and nighclubs when looking for a future husband? So honestly....are you just looking for a one-night stand? I'm confused...I thought married guys were supposed to stay away from bars/nightclubs for that simple fact. My suggestion: don't go to clubs to meet girl "friends". I take it that you're wife must not be stroking...uhh...your ego Link to post Share on other sites
vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 wups I posted that wrong Link to post Share on other sites
vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Thanks for all your replys. Most of you have come up with valid and insightful points. But I'm not quite clear on the deception part. How is talking about your job, sports, the weather, politics etc... being decietful? Back in the day we used to call it small talk. I just find it hard to believe that women are looking for their "significant" other at an after hours bar or a nightclub. Maybe I was misinformed but arent you supposed to stay away from bars and nighclubs when looking for a future husband? So honestly....are you just looking for a one-night stand? I'm confused...I thought married guys were supposed to stay away from bars/nightclubs for that simple fact. My suggestion: don't go to clubs to meet girl "friends". I take it that you're wife must not be stroking...uhh...your ego Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Let me be more clear...if you need a woman's insight on why women in bars respond to you the way they do, I suggest you ask your wife. You have an open and honest relationship with her, and she knows you best, so she will be able to explain other women's behavior in a way that you understand. She may also be able to give you tips on how to behave and communicate in such a way that you do not confuse, anger or disgust others. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 But I'm not quite clear on the deception part. How is talking about your job, sports, the weather, politics etc... being decietful? Back in the day we used to call it small talk. I just find it hard to believe that women are looking for their "significant" other at an after hours bar or a nightclub. Maybe I was misinformed but arent you supposed to stay away from bars and nighclubs when looking for a future husband? I agree with you, but I am just telling you what those women think and want. It's not deception on your part; it's deception on THEIR part. They had false hopes that this hot stud might become their husband! And they are disappointed. Plus you flirt with them so they assume that you want an affair. Be upfront and tell them you want just friendship - you'll see that they won't walk away. They will even hit on you as they will see you as a good-for-fun-and-maybe-sex opportunity. Link to post Share on other sites
933KJL Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Plus you flirt with them so they assume that you want an affair. Be upfront and tell them you want just friendship - you'll see that they won't walk away. They will even hit on you as they will see you as a good-for-fun-and-maybe-sex opportunity. This is perhaps one of the biggest pieces of bulls*** I have ever read on here! Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 This is perhaps one of the biggest pieces of bulls*** I have ever read on here! :mad: :mad: Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 This is perhaps one of the biggest pieces of bulls*** I have ever read on here! That's the meanest piece of bulls*** I have ever read on here! Link to post Share on other sites
alfagrl Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 CT, Lets keep it real. If you want to talk sports, politics, and current events...a dark night club where people are drunk, sweaty, bumpin and grindin, flirting, is NOT the place to find a new female 'friend'. I am sure you know this already. I think the problem is your looking for a peice of ass on the side (either to show off or f**k)and are upset that no one is taking you up on your offer. Link to post Share on other sites
RecordProducer Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 That's the meanest piece of bulls*** I have ever read on here!Thanks, Luvtoto! Link to post Share on other sites
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