Loving me...but don wanna b in relationship?

[dis love..]

This guy Really loves me...I can see it and he says he does..Also i love him so much...sso..We love each other..

But he's not sure about falling in love with me because he was hurt too much from his past relationship and he's afraid of hurting again.. And he says he doesn wanna hurt me at all and to not be hurt by each other, he wants us to be real and not holding anything back..and tell anything..whatever we want...

And then he treats me like his girlfriend.. but he never calls me that im his girlfriend..or anything that kind of stuff..I don't even know what i am to him..and what I should do...

Thank you for reading and taking your time..please tell me what you guys think...: ) thanX

[the_alchemyst]

I can kind of relate to your situation.

 

Please realize that there really is a huge difference between loving someone and being in love with them.

 

You can love many, many people simulataneously, yet you are (usually) in love with only one at a time.

 

When you love someone, you love them as a person, and when you're in love with someone, you love them as your person, if that makes sense.

 

It is also understandable that he may be struggling with past relationship issues. Once your heart has been broken, you need time to let it heal in order for it to be ready to be involved in another relationship.

 

This is why many times when people jump from relationship to relationship, they are essentially jumping into disaster to disaster.

 

Once something is broken you need to try to fix it before you can use it again. It you try to use it even if it's broken, it probably won't work.

 

Thus, you need to be understanding of this. It's good that he openly told you he is still struggling. While you can try to provide him with comfort, you must also realize that the main repair work has to come from within him--you can only help him, not do it all for him.

 

BUT, it also seems unfair to me that you do not know where you stand. While he was honest with you, he also seems to be sending you mixed signals, which are unhealthy. You have to let him know that you are confused as to where you two stand and that it is not fair for you to have him string you around.

 

If he is not ready to be in a more commited relationship (bf/gf), then do not pressure him; give him the time he needs to heal. If all he wants is a friendship with you, then be his friend (granted that you want this, also), but be nothing more.

 

Give him support, but also remember to stay true to yourself.

 

Just remember that while he may be in love with you and you with him, in order for a relationship to work, other factors must be present, such as trust, and right now it doesn't seem like he is very trusting of the intimate side of the opposite gender.

[Dislove]

Thank You So Much for replying me and taking your time on this.

Thank you so much !! I think what you wrote is all right..

Thank you..!! = )

[Mary3]

I can kind of relate to your situation.

 

Please realize that there really is a huge difference between loving someone and being in love with them.

 

You can love many, many people simulataneously, yet you are (usually) in love with only one at a time.

 

When you love someone, you love them as a person, and when you're in love with someone, you love them as your person, if that makes sense.

 

It is also understandable that he may be struggling with past relationship issues. Once your heart has been broken, you need time to let it heal in order for it to be ready to be involved in another relationship.

 

This is why many times when people jump from relationship to relationship, they are essentially jumping into disaster to disaster.

 

Once something is broken you need to try to fix it before you can use it again. It you try to use it even if it's broken, it probably won't work.

 

Thus, you need to be understanding of this. It's good that he openly told you he is still struggling. While you can try to provide him with comfort, you must also realize that the main repair work has to come from within him--you can only help him, not do it all for him.

 

BUT, it also seems unfair to me that you do not know where you stand. While he was honest with you, he also seems to be sending you mixed signals, which are unhealthy. You have to let him know that you are confused as to where you two stand and that it is not fair for you to have him string you around.

 

If he is not ready to be in a more commited relationship (bf/gf), then do not pressure him; give him the time he needs to heal. If all he wants is a friendship with you, then be his friend (granted that you want this, also), but be nothing more.

 

Give him support, but also remember to stay true to yourself.

 

Just remember that while he may be in love with you and you with him, in order for a relationship to work, other factors must be present, such as trust, and right now it doesn't seem like he is very trusting of the intimate side of the opposite gender.

Wow ! Outstanding Advice