oannamarie Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 I have posted on here several times. My husband is an A*** Hole. Today I sent him a text message asking him to call his attorneys office for his workers comp case. Somehow one of his text messages got merged with mine. He called me cursing and yelling asking me who the message was meant for. I dont know anything about it. We had went on vacation last week and it was something about that and that we wouldnt be home until late, which was merged with the message I sent him. I rechecked my text I sent him and what he said he recieved is not on the text I sent him so I resent him the message telling him this was the original message I sent. He called me and said I am a cheater and a lier. What do I do? He said he wants to talk about this when I get home from work. I cant handle this anymore. I am so hurt. I didnt do anything wrong and he just wont believe me. What he sees is what he bleives and he does no wrong. I said to him maybe you mixed one of your other messages up with mine somehow. He said "are you calling me stupid?. Any advise on how I should handle this when I get home? He doesnt belive anything I say to him. Link to post Share on other sites
sugarplum Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 First, I am very sorry that your husband is an A**-hole. I have one like that myself. Can't you just go on your phone to your sent messages and show him the message you sent? I mean you cant really fake that! Hopefully, he calms down before he gets home. That really stinks that he said that and know you are going to worry all this time about how he will act. Link to post Share on other sites
sugarplum Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 He said "are you calling me stupid?. You didn't have to now did you? He just did it himself! Link to post Share on other sites
Author oannamarie Posted June 23, 2006 Author Share Posted June 23, 2006 I forwarded him the message I sent him (resent it). He seen that it didnt have what he said. He sent me the first message he got showing what he received. It was a message I sent him about two weeks ago that I no longer had on my phone. I told him that. I told him that he probably merged it somehow from his phone. His response was thats stupid. How the F***K could that happen. Like I said he never believes me. I am sure he will want an explanation when he gets home and I dont have one to give because I told him the truth. I just feel like crying. I feel like never going back home. If it wasnt for my kids I wouldnt. I have been trying to save the money to get out but still will need about three more months to get everything together. I hate him. Link to post Share on other sites
sugarplum Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 I hate him too! I meant when he gets home can't you just hand him the phone and he can see what you sent him. Maybe he thinks the forwarded one was a "fake". Try calling your phone company and as if this could indeed happen-I've seen stranger things take place! Can a friend of relative "coincidentally" stop by shortly before he is due home to take the pressure off? I wish you were my neighbor, then I would stop over! I wish you all the luck in getting out of your situation. When is he due home? Link to post Share on other sites
Pink_Tulip Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 My suggestion would be, when you get home, let him scream and yell, but DON'T raise your voice, don't engage him in any way. When he is quiet, tell him you see things just aren't working out, you are tired of the nonsense, and that maybe you two should start making plans to seperate. That can either be a wake up call for him to straighten out and work on your issues, or maybe he will agree and you can move on from there. The one thing I learned from my marriage is, don't let things drag on and on. It will only make you more bitter and resentful. The sooner you take control of your problem, the sooner it will be resolved, and that is best for everyone involved, especially your sanity. Link to post Share on other sites
Author oannamarie Posted June 23, 2006 Author Share Posted June 23, 2006 I am kind of affraid to say anything to him. He has been abusive in the past. My kids are out of town with my parents visiting for two weeks and that is more of a reason to hit me. He is more aware of what he is doing when they are around. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink_Tulip Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Can you not take your kids to your parents house and stay there while going through the seperation/divorce? I know if my daughter were in your situation, I'd be upset if she didn't take my grandbabies and herself out of there, and I'd be more than willing to help financially, etc., if that is what she needed... Link to post Share on other sites
Author oannamarie Posted June 23, 2006 Author Share Posted June 23, 2006 I could but my parents live six hours away. I would never get to see them. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink_Tulip Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 No, I mean you AND your kids moving there. If he is abusive, six hours is a nice buffer zone, IMO. Link to post Share on other sites
Author oannamarie Posted June 23, 2006 Author Share Posted June 23, 2006 I have a nice job where I am at. I would hate to leave it. My parents live in West Virginia in an area that doesnt have much employment. I wouldnt be able to support myself or the kids. My parents are retired and on a fixed income and I couldnt ask them to support us. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink_Tulip Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 I don't know what state you are in, but I believe in most states you can take family leave for up to four months and still have your job when you get back. Try a temp agency near your parents house, that may be enough income to get you by while going through this. Thats about all the advice I have, unfortunately. Haven't gone through it myself. Maybe others have better advice? Link to post Share on other sites
Author oannamarie Posted June 23, 2006 Author Share Posted June 23, 2006 Thanks for the advice. I am in Maryland. I work in Washington DC becuase the pay is about double than that in the area where I live. I have been saving for a while to get my own place. I need enough money for two months rent and a month of all bills so I can get a head when I move. I will probably stay until I can get that and just grin and bear it. I was looking for advice on how to handle the issue today. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink_Tulip Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 Well, in that case, like I said originally, don't engage him in any way. Or better, spend the night at a friends house. Or spend the month at a friends house until you have the money you need, keep your kids at grandma's... Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
sugarplum Posted June 23, 2006 Share Posted June 23, 2006 And so now I wanna know......what happened? Are you okay? I have been thinking of you, hoping it didn't go as badly as you expected. Link to post Share on other sites
sugarplum Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 anyone else concerned that oannamarie hasn't been back? Link to post Share on other sites
LightningRod Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 Thanks for the advice. I am in Maryland. I work in Washington DC becuase the pay is about double than that in the area where I live. I have been saving for a while to get my own place. I need enough money for two months rent and a month of all bills so I can get a head when I move. I will probably stay until I can get that and just grin and bear it. I was looking for advice on how to handle the issue today. Don't stay with the jerk even if you are dependent. Have an aunt who lived with a jerk and now her kids are emotionally ruined and suicidal. Link to post Share on other sites
Pink_Tulip Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 I wouldn't worry. Many people post on here either when they are at work, or their spouse is at work, to keep their spouse from knowing they post here. We may not hear back til Monday. Hopefully everything went OK. Link to post Share on other sites
peachfuzz Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 She probly stepped up to the plate tonight and told him they may be better off apart for a little while. But that is always best if you leave first and make him wander over the weekend and come back monday night. With some truths. I know i hate that crap, and i begged for forgiveness. I wasn't abusive though. Link to post Share on other sites
GodsGrievance Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 "that is more of a reason to hit me" That is one more reason for you to leave. Although I am a little concerned you have yet to stop by... Link to post Share on other sites
sugarplum Posted June 29, 2006 Share Posted June 29, 2006 Oannamarie, let us know how you are doing, k? Link to post Share on other sites
dontbfooled Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Did she ever post again after this thread????????? If you are out there, let us know you're ok. PLEASE. Link to post Share on other sites
bunset Posted July 1, 2006 Share Posted July 1, 2006 Yes, it DOES bother me that she hasn't come back. That kind of verbal, emotional aggression she described can escalate. please, onnamarie, just give us an OK..... Link to post Share on other sites
sugarplum Posted July 1, 2006 Share Posted July 1, 2006 Did she ever post again after this thread????????? Hey guys, I've looked - she hasn't posted. Link to post Share on other sites
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