Should I really take all of this? How can I not?

[Guest]

I have been with my boyfriend now for almost two years. The first year everything was perfect. We were so much in love and could spend all of our free time together and that still felt like it was not enough. About 5 months ago he felt like we had been seeing too much of each other and since we would be leaving for school in the fall we should try to be without each other for a while. Plus we would start disagreeing and fighting over it. I mean our fights were never huge or violent, but both of us would just end up getting so annoyed at the other. Well our break up didn't seem real. We were broken up only about a week. We both still talked all the time and we said we still loved each other and we still hung out all the time. I kind of just felt like we were still dating and that is how I thought he felt too. One day I saw a message on the computer from a girl he used to date. He hadn't told me about talking to the girl and he used to ALWAYs tell me when this girl tried to talk to him because he knew I didn't like her. Anyways i told him I wished he wouldn't hang out with her and I acted pissed off at him. I figured since I acted like that, then he wouldn't hang out with this girl. When I talked to him a couple days later I was happy and upbeat and talked on the phone with him for a while until i asked him how his previous day had gone. He started acting kind of weird and admitted he hung out with the girl. I was actually devastated that he even hung out with her by himself. He took her to the beach about 45 minutes away (where he hardly takes me because of gas issues) and then they went back to his house. He said that is where the story ended, but I questioned him to the end and with some work I got him to convince that he made out with her. I was unbelievable hurt. He didn't consider it cheating because we weren't technically dating, but I still felt betrayed. I was able to forgive him and went alone with our relationship. One time he asked me if I would mind if he went to a strip club with some of his guy friends. I tried to act not too controlling by explaining to him why I woudln't want him to go and how I thought I was enough for him and he shouldn't go somewhere else to drool over naked girls. He totally agreed with me and dropped it. At a party a couple weeks ago, he blurted something about the strip club to his friend while drunk. Myself, also drunk, was very upset and wanted to leave the party. I was devastated once again that he had not said anything about it and had obviously lied to me about it one night. The next day I thought to ask how many times he had been to this strip club and he replied twice. I was extremely hurt that he would lie to me twice and go do this. I never minded him looking at porn, but the fact that he has seen so many other girls naked in real life really bugs me. After a while I forgave him for this too though. Now just a week ago, I thought our relationship was going fine and he was hanging out at my house and he was abouot to go hang out with his friend and he kissed me and said goodbye to me. When I called him a couple hours later because someone was calling me to get ahold of him, he sounded weird again and told me he would call me when he got home because he was driving home from his friend's house. If he had been driving home from his friend's house he woudl have been home in less than 20 minutes. Instead he called me an hour later. I knew something was up and questioned him about it. He woudln't tell me anything then later changed his story to he didn't want to talk to me about it. I got him to confess that he had made out with some girl up in her room when he was supposedly at his friend's house. This same friend he was with was the one who took him to the strip club and usually causes trouble with him. I know his friend doesn't like me because I get to hang out with my boyfriend more than him. In fact, most of my boyfriend's friends tell him he should be with some short blonde haired girl. I am very tall and I have brown curly hair. For some reason it isn't enough that we love each other and get along so well, they think I don't belong with him. Anyways, my boyfriend had not been making out with me like he used to and when I asked him why, he said that he always had me and the other girl was just something new. When I threaten to break up with him, he says he needs me and tears up and says that I am really the one he loves and he doesn't love the other girls. Although I love him, I have started to change as a person. Before I started dating my boyfriend I was a pretty confident person and I never depended on someone. Now, I feel ugly and unconfident and I always think he is looking at other girls and if they are more attractive than me then he will want to make out with them, just as long as I don't know. He even admitted that he did it because he thoguht I woudl never know. Also, I am unconfortable with him hanging out with his friends now. Whenever he hangs out with me he is fine and loves me, but after he has hung out with his friends he comes back cocky and acting like he doesn't care. He also admitted to kissing yet another girl while drunk at a party with his friends. When I was on a vacation with my friend, I was dancing at a club with my friend's cousin (which I thought didn't mean anything) and her cousin tried to kiss me, but I broke off the kiss and wouldn't do anything with him because it would be cheating and I loved my boyfriend. How come he says he loves me and he used to be more serious about the relationship than i was but I can decline a boy and he can't control his hormones? What can I do to make myself more comfortable with him hanging out with his friends and trusting him more? Any advice or comments would help! Thanks.