Guest Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 what heals best when you can't get the thought of a parter cheating out of your head? is it just time? it feels impossible and i'm getting impatient Link to post Share on other sites
Chump64 Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 How long has it been? No way around the valley - you just have to trudge thru it. Feel the pain and don't try to avoid it. Just do what you need to do to survive, even if it means laying in bed and watching TV for an entire day. I once took a day off work and drank insane amounts of diet coke, ate popcorn and watched bad TV shows. It was just what I needed. Link to post Share on other sites
Magister Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 What is it about the cheating that bothers you? Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Amulet Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 I never came to terms with my partners infidelity. It is only now that we have ended the relationship that I found peace. Link to post Share on other sites
TUDOR Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 You never forget things of this nature...you either forgive them and move on, live with them, or move on knowing you can never trust them again. But to think it will just go away or no longer exist in the back of your head is not realistic. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 so, to go into detail. she was drunk, half naked and a guy took advantage of her. after several seconds of sex she backed off. and now she just wants to forget it . i wish i could but the thoughts drive me crazy. she said she didn't lead him on and that he just started doing it. is getting upset over this overeacting? Link to post Share on other sites
Trimmer Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 Guest - how is your partner acting? Is he or she playing a role in your recovery, or basically saying 'it's in the past' and moving on without dealing with it? I think the role your partner plays in the process has a lot to do with the way you get past it... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 You never forget things of this nature...you either forgive them and move on, live with them, or move on knowing you can never trust them again. But to think it will just go away or no longer exist in the back of your head is not realistic. well its been about a week. she was half naked and drunk when a guy took advantage of her. she said she didn't lead him on and that he just started having sex with her. after several seconds she realized what was happening and stopped. and she just wants to forget it and doesn't like when i bring it up. should i be skeptical? or overall, should i even be that upset? regardless, it hurts Link to post Share on other sites
Chump64 Posted June 24, 2006 Share Posted June 24, 2006 Was it a rape? A week is not very long. Give it some time. But I'd be suspicious about the situation and I'd find out for sure if there is more to it. Like, is she having an ongoing affair with this guy? What was the context of the situation? Why was she drinking and taking her clothes off with another man? I don't know what to tell you. I can't get too worked up about a one-time thing, though I don't mean to minimize your pain. I am trying to get past a 10-year affair, so I'd give my right arm to be in your spot. This involves lots of reading, reflecting, therapy, and just plain riding the wave / feeling all the s***ty feelings. Give yourself some time to decide whether you can get past this or whether you need to split up. Set a timeframe like, say, 6 mos. Link to post Share on other sites
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