Re: i did a bad thing

[Tony T]

There are many ways to avoid going to a football game besides soaking the tickets in milk. If you can't talk to your husband and clearly explain your reluctance to go, you are married to the wrong man...or you are the wrong wife for him. Good communication and acceptance are the hallmark of a good marriage.

 

It would have been so much nicer for you to simply have told your husband to find a friend to go with him. You've really got a weird marriage if you didn't feel comfortable enough to suggest he do that.

 

Destroying the tickets was wrong...and, according to religious law, a sin of this sort cannot be forgiven unless there is a perfect act of contrition...that is, you are truly sorry.

 

Are you?

[Daisy]

First of all, I think you need to grow up. The way in which you handled the situation was VERY immature ... something that spoiled kids do when they are younger and they don't get their way.

 

I realize that social situations make you anxious. And believe me, it's a lot more common then you might think. Social anxiety can be a big problem for lots of people ... so much so that you want to avoid them at all costs so that you don't get that "feeling". Make an appointment with a therapist so you can learn more about why you feel this way. Believe me, it really helps. And it CAN go away, but you have to work at it.

 

The way you handled the situation was completely wrong. Learn to communicate with your husband ... through words, not through your actions. Do you honestly think that by destroying those tickets, your husband now understands that you don't like it when he makes fun of your anxiety? No, he doesn't. He still has no clue about how mad it makes you because you chose to do something stupid and petty, instead of actually sitting down and TELLING him that you don't like it. So you accomplished nothing. Absolutely nothing. So what does that mean? It means that next time something like this comes up, he'll make fun of your anxiety again. And I wonder why that is?

 

You're an adult. Act like one.

[midori]

If you're truly sorry about this you'll face the music by confessing to your boyfriend. What a childish, petty, selfish thing that was, it was sneaky and dishonest. You owe him an enormous apology. And with that as an opener, you and he can then have what is clearly a much-needed conversation about how to improve the communication between the two of you. If you feel that you must resort to trickery and destructive, passive-agressive tactics there is something wrong with your relationship.