Marisa Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 Hi, I was wondering if anyone could suggest or provide some sort of advice for me. I had posted a message awhile back (2 years ago) seeking advice as to what to do with a long term relationship that seemed to be going nowhere. Two years ago, my bf had 'proposed' to me with a ring that I didn't really like simply because I wanted a style that was all my own and preferred something different than the one he picked out for me. To make a long story short, the ring was returned and 2 years later, there hasn't been any attempt to buy me a new one. We are still together but spend less time with eachother since he refuses to see me more than once a week. I am in my early thirties and he is in his mid thirties. I find that alot has changed between us. I know this isn't something that I need to point out but I am asian and he is Caucasian. His attitude towards me has changed a great deal. The things he says to me in regards to my culture and race is very offensive and rude. I have never seen this side of him. We have been together for the past 7 years and not once had I heard him say so many nasty things directly towards me. Although I am very hurt ( and he knows it) he continues to do this to me... I on the other hand am continuing to see him. I don't see the possibility of us getting married. He refuses to talk about it and says he really isn't into it. I love him but at the same time I am growing bitter and I have so much resentment towards him. I have treated him so well these past 7 years and I have been there for him all the time. In a week of so, he has decided to go back home to visit his family who lives in Florida. In the years that I have been with him, he has always brought me along. This year he has decided to go without me. I am hurt... this just isn't a good sign right?! I don't know what to say or think anymore. When I asked him why it is I am not going to go with him, he said ' you don't have to come because I am visiting MY family and they are MY parents' Can someone please help. Link to post Share on other sites
tikigods Posted June 25, 2006 Share Posted June 25, 2006 I think that you are in a dead end relationship that is only going to get worse and worse, why not end it now before you invest anymore emotional time into it? Link to post Share on other sites
Guestagain Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 Marisa- I know how much easier it is to want to hang on to a relationship even if it's unhealthy or loveless or not ever going to be what you had dreamt in the beginning. Hanging on is so much easier but the fact is you would find more happiness if you moved on. It very much sounds like the relationship is over. He doesn't even care about your feelings anymore and has told you "he's not into it." my boyfriend has said this same thing. and i think ignoring that statement is not bright on our parts. if they aren't that into us, we should probably stop lowering ourselves to demeaning us with their emotional coldness/cruelty/distance. I'm sorry the answer wasn't the happy what you want to hear answer but I think if you are strong enough to move forward and away from that and start over while you're still semi young, you will be glad you did. Good luck, very much from my heart because I can relate. Link to post Share on other sites
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