killercards Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 I like this girl I work with but she titles us a "best friend" What does this mean when she says this????? I heard it could be a trust issue with her.... Link to post Share on other sites
Pink Amulet Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 I would never sleep with my male 'best friend'. I think to escape this position in her life to establish a new one would be asking to much. Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 I like this girl I work with but she titles us a "best friend" What does this mean when she says this????? I heard it could be a trust issue with her.... It means you are in the dreaded 'Friends Zone'...! You can search for some previous thread about this, there's many out there. As PA states, it's usually very hard to move into a different level of relationship once you've been put firmly in the Friend Zone. Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 It is also very hard to get out of the zone. Either stay and quell the feelings or move on. Quite a few threads on this "friend zone". Link to post Share on other sites
typical Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 I like this girl I work with but she titles us a "best friend" What does this mean when she says this????? I heard it could be a trust issue with her.... Dont cast this off as "just Best Friends" as of yet........It very well could be a trust issue. Personally speaking, I am somewhat terrified to move into A relationship with someone I really really like and have called him my "best friend" to quiet the discomfort, fear, distrust and nervousness roiling around in my brain and stomach. I did that so I could buy myself more time, I think. In the end, we were BF/GF (it was inevitable). I guess I deemed him my Best Friend to gauge his reaction and because I am sort of like a wild horse that needs to be coralled into something and I thought "if he likes me as much as I like him, he will do something about it" Not all women mean what they say, especially at the height of anxiety and combined with trust issues. I say, feel it out a little more. If she is giving you the more than friends vibe, then it is safe to say she is just being cautious and if you are gentle but firm with her, you might end up with her. But I dont recommend going through all of this if you truly dont like her, ESPECIALLY if she has trust issues. You will only make things worse if your feelings and intentions arent pure. Feel it out first. Take it slow. You will know soon enough which way her brain is headed by her actions with you. If she only wants to be your Best Friend, then you'll have to accept it and move on, not stalk and hound her mercilessly until she gives in. Link to post Share on other sites
Marcus1963 Posted June 26, 2006 Share Posted June 26, 2006 I like this girl I work with but she titles us a "best friend" What does this mean when she says this????? I heard it could be a trust issue with her.... means she likes you a lot as a friend? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 It's so bizarre that despite that fact that MANY friends end up marrying, there's this myth that it's impossible to fall for a friend. There are TWO Friend Zones. One is the 'Desert of Impossiblity' and the other is the 'Forest of Possibility'. The first is reserved for people a person would never have sex with under any circumstances - or else could never stand living with. The second is for people who have possibilities and who may indeed make it into a relationship depending how the friendship progresses. You're only hooped if you're in the Desert. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted June 27, 2006 Share Posted June 27, 2006 Dont cast this off as "just Best Friends" as of yet........It very well could be a trust issue. Personally speaking, I am somewhat terrified to move into A relationship with someone I really really like and have called him my "best friend" to quiet the discomfort, fear, distrust and nervousness roiling around in my brain and stomach. I did that so I could buy myself more time, I think. In the end, we were BF/GF (it was inevitable). I guess I deemed him my Best Friend to gauge his reaction and because I am sort of like a wild horse that needs to be coralled into something and I thought "if he likes me as much as I like him, he will do something about it" Not all women mean what they say, especially at the height of anxiety and combined with trust issues. I say, feel it out a little more. If she is giving you the more than friends vibe, then it is safe to say she is just being cautious and if you are gentle but firm with her, you might end up with her. But I dont recommend going through all of this if you truly dont like her, ESPECIALLY if she has trust issues. You will only make things worse if your feelings and intentions arent pure. Feel it out first. Take it slow. You will know soon enough which way her brain is headed by her actions with you. If she only wants to be your Best Friend, then you'll have to accept it and move on, not stalk and hound her mercilessly until she gives in. Typical, Wow thanks for the reply! Thanks for giving me the knowledge of there still being hope in just more than best friends.. I believe the trust issue to be so.. She has had ups and downs her whole life and Her losing friends and Just how her past relationships with other men... She told me that she had a hard time trusting even me at first.. because anyone in her life would abandoned her. Now it's like the next step... Link to post Share on other sites
Author killercards Posted July 12, 2006 Author Share Posted July 12, 2006 You know what's awesome? On July 4th 2006 She invited me over her place and she revealed everything she feels about me and so did I. We are now Girlfriend/boyfriend right now. We have stong feeling for each other and we started making out that night, We really did see some awesome fireworks!!! If ya know what i mean. Well We have gotten close to parking my car in her garage but It's decided from her talking to her mother and sister about us , They tell her to take it slow with me and wait till were married. It's really tough because everytime we makeout it leads to rubbing and grinding. But she almost gets strict and says I can't comeover and spend the night with her because we might end up doing it.. That killed me but I got her to agree that I want to spend the nights with her and hold her and sleep in her bed with her. Do you all think it's a good or bad thing about the till marriage deal???????? Link to post Share on other sites
Author killercards Posted July 12, 2006 Author Share Posted July 12, 2006 You know what's awesome? On July 4th 2006 She invited me over her place and she revealed everything she feels about me and so did I. We are now Girlfriend/boyfriend right now. We have stong feeling for each other and we started making out that night, We really did see some awesome fireworks!!! If ya know what i mean. Well We have gotten close to parking my car in her garage but It's decided from her talking to her mother and sister about us , They tell her to take it slow with me and wait till were married. It's really tough because everytime we makeout it leads to rubbing and grinding. But she almost gets strict and says I can't comeover and spend the night with her because we might end up doing it.. That killed me but I got her to agree that I want to spend the nights with her and hold her and sleep in her bed with her. Do you all think it's a good or bad thing about the till marriage deal???????? Dont cast this off as "just Best Friends" as of yet........It very well could be a trust issue. Personally speaking, I am somewhat terrified to move into A relationship with someone I really really like and have called him my "best friend" to quiet the discomfort, fear, distrust and nervousness roiling around in my brain and stomach. I did that so I could buy myself more time, I think. In the end, we were BF/GF (it was inevitable). I guess I deemed him my Best Friend to gauge his reaction and because I am sort of like a wild horse that needs to be coralled into something and I thought "if he likes me as much as I like him, he will do something about it" Not all women mean what they say, especially at the height of anxiety and combined with trust issues. I say, feel it out a little more. If she is giving you the more than friends vibe, then it is safe to say she is just being cautious and if you are gentle but firm with her, you might end up with her. But I dont recommend going through all of this if you truly dont like her, ESPECIALLY if she has trust issues. You will only make things worse if your feelings and intentions arent pure. Feel it out first. Take it slow. You will know soon enough which way her brain is headed by her actions with you. If she only wants to be your Best Friend, then you'll have to accept it and move on, not stalk and hound her mercilessly until she gives in. Link to post Share on other sites
littlekitty Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 Good news!! I think if she has decided that she wishes to wait until marriage then you have to respect that. There's no need to hurry into sex. She won't respect you or be happy if you try to force her into something she's not ready for. I'd say respect her wishes, and see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Moai Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 Awesome! Welcome to the club! I too am dating my former best friend. Well, she's still my best friend, but even more now. It's the best ever. I'd wait, if it is important to her. Don't focus on not getting sex, focus on the fact that a woman like her is the least likely to stray on you and tear your heart out. Consider yourself lucky. Link to post Share on other sites
killercards122 Posted July 12, 2006 Share Posted July 12, 2006 It is the best!!! Actually the 1st and 2nd day of me and her being together, And the 3rd time we kept going to the next step after makingout for hours! Everytime we are together it's like I will spend te night and we would watch movies at first and then we hold eachother and start making and we do this for most of the time. It's almost gotten to the point of us almost doing it. No penetration but it does go as far as dry humping eachother.. Then we try to cool off by stoping. I want to still be able to makeout with her and cuddle of coarse but I told her we need to control it. It's her mother opinion for her not to do it yet. I just want our relationship to last forever! She told me if you really love me, Then you will wait until we are married. And I am going to respect her. Anotherthing is we work at the same place and we have to focus on work there and not on eachother because we don't want to reveal us being together. Our employer will split us up. This whole week me and her have differen't schedules and its hard but she tells me it's kind of good for us... We totally miss eachother. Do you all think this schedule difference is good for us???? Good news!! I think if she has decided that she wishes to wait until marriage then you have to respect that. There's no need to hurry into sex. She won't respect you or be happy if you try to force her into something she's not ready for. I'd say respect her wishes, and see what happens. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted July 13, 2006 Share Posted July 13, 2006 GREEEAT LOVE STORY!!! I love hearing about stuff like this! I have been with my guy 'best friend' for going on seven years. He's my lover, my bud, my family, my committed partner. There is nothing better than being with someone you know in your heart and soul really cares for you...the REAL you. Good luck and keep us posted! Link to post Share on other sites
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