who pays?

[yes]

Hi!

 

Another question from me ...

 

when going out with a guy ... i like to pay for myself and he pays for himself...

 

actually, i like it best the way i do it with my girl-friends - ie. one pays for the movie/exhibition/whatever, the other one pays for lunch/dinner.

 

but it's more of a problem with a guy ... i don't want him to pay for me, but i also dont want to be cheap about it - like if he pays a dollar for me - whatever, right?... but then after he has paid for me (even a couple $), next time i go to buy a drink or smth, i feel bad only paying for my own and letting him pay for his ...

 

bottom line - i'm confused.

 

this guy just pays by default, but doesn't refuse if i give him half of it. he just leaves it upto me.

 

how can i make the situation comfortable?

 

i have had ex's whom i let pay for me all the time - dinners, entertainment, everything - and i didn't feel good about it after a while. so i dont want to repeat it this time.

 

Thanks,

 

-yes

[cat that spilled the milk]

Make your boyfriend pay, then blame it on the cat. Or make the cat pay.

 

...but seriously now, it's probably the easiest and most fair, if you each just pay for yourselves, then the costs are divided equally and you don't have to stop and remember who paid last time and how much they paid (trying to even things out). Does your guy have a problem with splitting things 50-50?

 

Hi! Another question from me ... when going out with a guy ... i like to pay for myself and he pays for himself... actually, i like it best the way i do it with my girl-friends - ie. one pays for the movie/exhibition/whatever, the other one pays for lunch/dinner. but it's more of a problem with a guy ... i don't want him to pay for me, but i also dont want to be cheap about it - like if he pays a dollar for me - whatever, right?... but then after he has paid for me (even a couple $), next time i go to buy a drink or smth, i feel bad only paying for my own and letting him pay for his ... bottom line - i'm confused. this guy just pays by default, but doesn't refuse if i give him half of it. he just leaves it upto me. how can i make the situation comfortable?

 

i have had ex's whom i let pay for me all the time - dinners, entertainment, everything - and i didn't feel good about it after a while. so i dont want to repeat it this time. Thanks, -yes

[Third Wheel]

As a guy, I've been through this countless times trying to figure out who should pay what. I've met girls who have INSISTED they pay for themselves, others who were uncomfortable when I picked up the check, and still others who would have been gravely offended had I NOT paid. What's a guy supposed to do?

 

What I've done when I noticed the girl is uncomfortable with me paying is to ask if she "would mind getting the tip." And usually (because my read is accurate) they gladly do. If you feel uncomfortable with a guy paying, all you have to do is offer. Most guys (myself included) will tend to pay for everything by default unless the girl herself offers something. In other cases, I've told the girl if she's uncomfortable, that "you can treat next time." Assuming of course, she'd want there to be next time.

Hi! Another question from me ... when going out with a guy ... i like to pay for myself and he pays for himself... actually, i like it best the way i do it with my girl-friends - ie. one pays for the movie/exhibition/whatever, the other one pays for lunch/dinner. but it's more of a problem with a guy ... i don't want him to pay for me, but i also dont want to be cheap about it - like if he pays a dollar for me - whatever, right?... but then after he has paid for me (even a couple $), next time i go to buy a drink or smth, i feel bad only paying for my own and letting him pay for his ... bottom line - i'm confused. this guy just pays by default, but doesn't refuse if i give him half of it. he just leaves it upto me. how can i make the situation comfortable?

 

i have had ex's whom i let pay for me all the time - dinners, entertainment, everything - and i didn't feel good about it after a while. so i dont want to repeat it this time. Thanks, -yes