dilemma

[caramel38]

I have been with my husband for about 13 yrs. We have 4 children together. Me and my husband were really close, until we had our first child. My feelings for him changed, I believe due to the after effects of giving birth to a child. I believed I suffered from post-partum depression(I know I didn't spell it right), but anyway I stepped outside of our relationship to talk to another man. I realized I was wrong, but that's how I felt at the time. We made up and pulled thru, the kids kept coming and my feeling for him never returned back the way they were. I cheated on my husband 8 years ago. I broke off the affair, I came clean with my husband. We made up again. But the thing is, the man that I cheated with won't let go. He is telling everyone about our affair. He's been talking about it for 8 years. there's a guy that tells my husband everything the guy says. My husband has changed(which I completely understand) he has started drinking alot. He has very erratic behavior at times. He comes in drunk in front of the kids. I have tried to talk to him about everything in our relationship. He is not handling this well, after all this time. His behavior is getting worse. I don't know what to do. Should I go to the guy that I had the affair with an tell him to shut up?(which I know he won't). I need some men advice about this. tell me what's going on with my husband.

[Javelin]

You need a divorce, sorry but you messed up.

[caramel38]

I know I messed up, but I care alot for my husband. We have invested too much time in this relationship to just divorce. My husband cares for me a lot. He wouldn't want a divorce at all. We have kids together also, so that's more than a reason to work on this marriage. I appreciate your reply, but a divorce is a little harsh to me.