Diver012 Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Thanks for checkin in on me GW. Today was so/so I guess. I was so busy at work that I really didn't have much time to obsess, which is good. I still miss him though, and want him in my life. Time shall tell, on what my heart does (let's go completely or gets a shot at love). I'm hoping still, for the latter... Jennifer You will get a shot at love. Maybe not in the way you want, but if you allow your heart to heal, you can accept the love of another... someday. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AriaIncognito Posted June 30, 2006 Author Share Posted June 30, 2006 I'm still trying to decide if i want the love of this one...let alone another lol. Not that he's offered it, i mean, if he were to...gotta be prepared for situations... sigh jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
Teacher's Pet Posted June 30, 2006 Share Posted June 30, 2006 Jennifer, I haven't known you that long, but I already know you are a strong person.... Even the strongest of us (like I should talk!) doubt our feelings, and sometimes fall out of step with what we really want.......... Like everyone else said (and what all my friends tell me).... just focus on yourself. Maybe you don't feel it now, but by doing what you love, and working on YOU, you will build the strength you need to make the right decisions as to your heart. You know how to reach me. I'm here for ya, buddy. -tp Link to post Share on other sites
Author AriaIncognito Posted June 30, 2006 Author Share Posted June 30, 2006 You know i love ya TP. Thanks for being there as usual. I know I should just focus on myself, it's just hard, right. I'm trying to force myself out of the house every day for the next 4 days. We'll see what happens. Not to meet anyone man wise, but just to be out and not sitting home alone and crying. Lots of fireworks this weekend, which means lots of being sad over wishing I had a special someone to watch them with. Sigh. I know he's still thinking of me, which makes it all the harder... Jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
Teacher's Pet Posted July 1, 2006 Share Posted July 1, 2006 And of course, I wonder what the love of MY life is doing this weekend, but I'm scared to death of finding out. July 4th is a very important day for me (yes, I'm a flag-wait patriotic geek), and I'd really want to share it with her -tp Link to post Share on other sites
Author AriaIncognito Posted July 2, 2006 Author Share Posted July 2, 2006 I know what mine is doing. He's currently on his way down to washington dc to visit his brother. He informed me of this via an away message, and i ate it up like candy. we ended up talking, and well, I basically flat out asked him if he's spent these past however many days (10?) thinking that we would get back, or that we'd be on the friendship tip. he says the latter. so here i am, seemingly back to quare one, even though nothing has changed. he's told me the same things over and over, i've just chosen to ignore it and hope for my fairy tale ended. hell, i still hope for my fairy tale ending, but it's becoming more and more evident that it can't be with someone that won't even consider it. I asked him to talk with his brother when he got down to DC, but who knows if he will (about how he's been confused and wondering i f he did the right thing, blah blah). basically we talked for 90 minutes and in the end, I told him he can't contact me for just friendship in the near future. the only way i expect to be hearing from him, is if he wants to prove to me that he wants to be in my life the way i want him in mine. Well, we all know that's not gonna happen, so I suppose these next few days/weeks/months will be quite s***ty. I'm so looking forward to it (note sarcasm). But i did get my answer. He told me to move on (of course he also said he didn't know what he'd feel in the future, as well). Not that my heart is listening yet. Hopefully, it will soon. UGH. Jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
Author AriaIncognito Posted July 10, 2006 Author Share Posted July 10, 2006 Well it's been like a week since my last post on this thread. I'm still the same. He went to DC, came back Wednesday. We actually talked wednesday (via me being a moron and contacting him) and it was fine to talk (online not in person). Talked for a good 3 hours. This is when he told me we were too similar (which i posted about on another thread somewhere here). I've not spoken with him since then. I'm trying to want to get out and do stuff, but depression is a bitch. This weekend, all i really wanted to do was lay in bed and sleep or mope. I did go out last night. Even got to sing with the band (I sing with them for 1 song each time I see them, pretty much) and that was fun for the song, but for the most part, i found myself looking around the room, wishing my ex were there, wishing I had him in my life. So f***ing pathetic. I hate what I've become, and only I have the means to pull myself out of it. I just wish I'd smarten up soon. Ugh. Time for another work week, and more NC. I'm gonna be really tempted to talk to him or hear from him though, he's gonna be 2 miles from my house on thursday so of course I wish he'd show up here with flowers and tell me what a moron he was. Ever wonder if our exes are reading these posts and thinking how ridiculous we are to still be talking about them after they've treated us like sh*t? Man I hope he doesn't read this, I wouldn't want him to see what a mess I've become. Ugh! Jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
sickkitty Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 hay guys im new to this message board say ay all i broke up with my bf 2 weeks ago thinking the reason he broke up with me was becoz he needed to sort his life ou yeah rite i then found ou last week that we was round another girls house (one who fancied him b4 we got 2gether) he claims they r only friends but he is with her most nites and i had 2 her from someone else that last thurs him an her were riding home on his mums buggy (the things old ppl drive) with her on his lap im so heart broken its been 2 wks and hes doing this 2 me sorry 2 rant guys im so upset n dont no how 2 get over it any advice? Amanda x Link to post Share on other sites
ButtonPusher Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 Ever wonder if our exes are reading these posts and thinking how ridiculous we are to still be talking about them after they've treated us like sh*t? Man I hope he doesn't read this, I wouldn't want him to see what a mess I've become. Ugh! I wouldnt worry. The people that break peoples hearts are not hanging around forums like this. Its only those that have been burnt that come here. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AriaIncognito Posted July 10, 2006 Author Share Posted July 10, 2006 I wouldnt worry. The people that break peoples hearts are not hanging around forums like this. Its only those that have been burnt that come here. Yeah, I suppose you're right ButtonPusher. I'd also like to know why my brain thinks it's "fun" to make me dream about him at night lately. Last night was a great dream. Unfortunately, I woke up and realized it wasn't reality. Why can I not escape it regardless of my even being conscious!! This is just so unfair, really. Off to start another week of this crap. Jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
sickkitty Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 when in the hell is it ever gonna get better? its been just over 2 weeks for me and it feels like sum 1 is stompping on my chest, i feel so empty inside all alone etc and im thinking is it all worth it u live get hurt struggle all the way through life for what? mare damn pain hoping that when u die u can go 2 a greater life but im not bing funny, what if its exactly like this one just for ever. ok so yes im angry right now lol so is ne one on this board from London??? Amanda xx Link to post Share on other sites
Author AriaIncognito Posted July 10, 2006 Author Share Posted July 10, 2006 7/21 for me, sickkitty. I know from experience in the past that it does eventually get better. Unfortunately, I also know from the past that it gets better on it's on time schedule, not mine. I miss him, but what can i do but try to move on... I'm in the US, there are many from the UK on these boards, though. Jennifer Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted July 10, 2006 Share Posted July 10, 2006 I would have to say as time goes on it does get better. I believe it was 5 months ago today that I told her off. Everything started to get rocky and then poof. month later she called and went back on talking terms only to argue. Day before my bday, she called and left an empty voicemail. I deleted it, I knew it would be her. I have not called her for 3 months and even went out on dates. It does get better. Just take it oneday at a time. Link to post Share on other sites
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