Sexual Stamina Question

[OnlyMe]

I have recently begun dating a new guy. It has been about three times that we have began a "sexual" relationship. Everything is pretty wonderful but we differ in one area...the length of our sexual encounters! I always prefer short and intense sessions. I am beggining to realize that my new guy seems to go on forever as well as being intense! I truely want us both to have a wonderful time, but half way through he "loses me," and I am ready to be done(though I don't show it).

 

Since we are in our first few times having sex, I am just curious if possibly he is just trying to show his "sexual prowess" by trying to go on for so long? Do some guys just take this long to finish and simply can't change it? Do men have control of the length of time they go for or is this something that can not be adjusted? I do not want to hurt his feelings and say something. Is the length of time determined by physical need, or by choice? Any tricks or tips?

 

Thanks (that was extremely awkward, thank God for the internet!)

[Carrie]

Most women hate it when a guy goes on forever. I don't know a women that likes it. It hurts. It turns into an uncomfortable pounding thing and it's exhausting. All my guy friends and ex-boyfriend were shocked when I told them this. They heard that women loved it. Yeah, a woman that can multi-orgasm. Most women can't multi-orgasm. Only a small percentage can. Don't get me wrong, a guy lasting is great, but when we haven't organsmed yet. After we've organsmed, we're pretty much done - just like a guy is. We can go on a bit longer, but then it's like, "Hurry up already."

 

Anyway, any guy I've dated who lasts a long, long, long time, they've told me it's because they're trying to think about other things so they can last forever, otherwise they'll finish too soon. Half of them were relieved when I told them NOT to do that. Have a talk with your guy. Honesty & communication is a good thing, especially in this case.

[Tony T]

The amount of time it takes a man to reach orgasm has to do with many factors: the amount of stimulation, sensual, visual, and verbal prior to sex; psychological factors such as stress, worries, depression, etc.; physical factors such as diet, exercise, vitamins taken, frequency of masturbation outside of the relationship, etc.; medical considerations such as medications, both over the counter and prescription, being taken currently; drug use...there are certain drugs, even marijuana, which can extend a sexual encounter.

 

You are going to have to step up to the plate quickly on this one. You're simply going to have to spell out plainly and clearly what your desires are sexually and see if there's a fix or a compromise here.

 

Maybe his last girlfriend liked long sexual encounters...maybe he thinks all women do. Maybe he has one of the problems listed above. Maybe he wants to show you what kind of man he is.

 

But you are going to have to tell him in a kind, sensitive way exactly what turns you on. In this way you can start the sexual part of your relationship off in a positive way from the very start.

 

If he can't handle this sort of conversation, he's not your guy. Sex is the closest two humans can be so such a talk should be a step down from that. It's not like you're insulting him. You just want him to know that too much of a good thing is not what you desire.