Should i just ignore her?

[Guest]

so you're acknowledging our good advice and then summarily dismissing it? It's obvious you need to live through this bad breakup in order to learn from it. That's okay, you're young. go ahead and do whatever you want.

 

Just don't make the mistake of thinking that your "special first love" is any different than anybody else's on loveshack. People are people whereever you are.

[Lost1616]

Thanks guys. Im sorry i definitly didnt mean to think that my relationship was any more special than anyone elses. I just seem to be going up and down emotionally and the other day i was way down. Im slightly better today, well... coping anyway.

 

If i want her back... and im not sure if i do yet (still deciding) surely the best thing to do would be to keep in there and dont let her forget me? I mean the last month or 2 of our relationship was slowing down and we werent having much fun as we used to but if i remain a friend and go out and do that stuff again, be like it used to be (minus the romance) wouldnt that be better than just fading away?

 

Besides NC isnt really something i can totally do, i work with her 4 days a week and although shes on holidays now... she will be back next week!

 

 

I guess i just dont want to be the "EX BF" and in a years time when i see her its like ohh hi its that guy i used to date as if it meant nothing. I will always remember her as my first love... i dont want her to forget about me.

[Mary3]

BACK OFF RIGHT NOW, HOLD NC!!! I was in your same situation, my ex and I broke up in march, talked till the end of may then we had a fight, ended on not so bad terms, not so good. I kept NC for a month, showed up at her house, she saw me, went back in. Went back into NC, two weeks later, she emails me to be careful on the fourth of july. I calmly replied 5 days later, no emotional attachment to the email, nothing, just a simple "Don't worry, I didn't blow my hands up. Hope you had a great fourth", other then that, it was all. She would then reply a longer email everytime, and in exchange I replied a simple sentence. Things kept going until she would pop and say, "are you feeling weird talking to me? I'm sorry, I shouldn't have tried to reconcile, but I have tried so hard to forgive you and I have." I replied saying that I didn't feel wierd. She then talks about her wanting to be my friend, that she was so excited. Well I replied to her that I want to be her friend, but not right now. She then replied she doesn't know if she wants to be my friend or not.... the idea is... this girl is stringing you along, just like my ex. I have now went back to NC, and with summer ending, school will start soon.... god, Iunno what will happen.... KEEP NC, she's just stringing you along, or she's just really really really confused. That's what I think is giong on with my ex.

 

I think your minimal responses were appropriate and you are not obligated AT ALL to answer any of her questions , just so you know...

 

If you have done this because you realize how special you really are and are moving forward then Great !

 

If you have done the vague responses to get her to respond more because you secretly want her back in your life, be prepared for GAMES .

 

Her playing. You playing.

 

Don't you want better ? I think you do . You don't want her back right ?

[Mary3]

YOu should be out riding your bike, playing softball, going hiking, hanging out at the beach - it's summer...enjoy it.

 

You should be writing the great American novel, re-building your car engine, painting your apartment, learning to cook, learning to scuba dive, planning a vacation, reviewing your finances, working to pay off your credit cards, making investments to buy a house - it's your life...live it.

 

You should be hanging out with your friends, going to baseball games, going to hear local bands, seeing movies, reading books, taking a road trip, playing darts, practicing sinking the 8 ball in the corner pocket...it's your time...do something fun with it.

 

You should be asking other girls out.

 

What you should not be doing is exactly what you are doing. I realize you're terribly hurt and this woman was special to you. But you need to get as far away from her as you possibly can. NO, DO NOT ask her out somewhere casually as a freind. Stop trying to be her friend. You'll just get your feelings stepped on again, so stop trying to lick her boots.

 

Excellent Post ! Please follow....

[Mary3]

Thanks guys. Im sorry i definitly didnt mean to think that my relationship was any more special than anyone elses. I just seem to be going up and down emotionally and the other day i was way down. Im slightly better today, well... coping anyway.

 

If i want her back... and im not sure if i do yet (still deciding) surely the best thing to do would be to keep in there and dont let her forget me? I mean the last month or 2 of our relationship was slowing down and we werent having much fun as we used to but if i remain a friend and go out and do that stuff again, be like it used to be (minus the romance) wouldnt that be better than just fading away?

 

Besides NC isnt really something i can totally do, i work with her 4 days a week and although shes on holidays now... she will be back next week!

 

 

I guess i just dont want to be the "EX BF" and in a years time when i see her its like ohh hi its that guy i used to date as if it meant nothing. I will always remember her as my first love... i dont want her to forget about me.

 

 

Of course she was your first love. You sound very respectful of her and keeping your memory special. Some people do not have an easy time at remaining friends with someone they love(ed ).

 

I think you have a right to keep the special memories. But try to put yourself in the place of your next girlfriend if you lament about how wonderful she was....some of us have been there. Its kinda bothersome because we want you to move forward and live in the present with us.

 

Does that sound fair ?

 

Keep your special memories but make room for new ones with someone special .