vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Lately I've been feeling anxious about the debt that I've accumulated, to where it almost makes me depressed. It's all credit card debt that equals up to $5000, on 3 different cards. The part that I feel the worst about is that my parents just recently paid off my credit cards because they wanted to help me out. And they don't know that I've almost maxed them out again! Right now I'm in a job position where I'm making lil money until I'm licensed (insurance agent), so it's hard because I have a car payment every month, a student loan to pay, and my cell phone bill. BUT I don't pay any rent because I'm living at home now after I moved out of an apartment with my ex. But I'm 25 yrs-old and I don't want to be living at my parents house for too much longer! How old is too old to live with your parents? Also, what if this guy that I've been seeing asks me to move in with him? His rent is going to end in the next couple of months, I'm not sure what he's going to do, I doubt he would ask, BUT what if it's a possibility? I don't want him to ask me, and then I say, oh I can't I have this debt to pay off. I don't want that to scare him away! So that's stressing me out too. What should I do???? How can I feel better about this situation? Link to post Share on other sites
Outcast Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 For starters, you have to take control of your spending. If you're that broke without even paying rent, how are you going to make it on your own? And living with someone else is not the solution. If you don't stop yourself now, you're never going to get a handle on this. Go read up on budgeting and financial planning. Ask your folks to help you make a budget. And then stick to it!! Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 ok, first money, especially if you do not have and have debts.....is the biggest stressor. second....unless you are on his lease, oh well!!!! .... there are times in your life where you need to be selfish about yourwell being...aka credit.... and continue to live with your folks. i am 27, and yes currently i live at home....but i moved back, it is not like i have been absorbing off of them since birth. get YOUR s*** together first.... he can do his s*** at the same time..... it will alll work itself out in the end. maybe not your ideal-at-the-moment-way..... but it will and for the best! Link to post Share on other sites
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 For starters, you have to take control of your spending. If you're that broke without even paying rent, how are you going to make it on your own? And living with someone else is not the solution. If you don't stop yourself now, you're never going to get a handle on this. Go read up on budgeting and financial planning. Ask your folks to help you make a budget. And then stick to it!! Yah that is my first problem I need to solve is to stop spending money. I used to have a problem spending money on clothes and I honestly haven't done that for awhile, especially because I don't work in the mall anymore! So that helps. After I ruined my parents' coffee table, I bought them a brand new one because I felt bad, even though they said they would buy it, but I felt like I owed it to them. SO I bought that on my credit card (they don't know that) and it was pretty expensive. I'm thinking of taking out a loan to consolidate my credit, but I'm not sure if that's the best way to go, instead of just paying them 1 by 1. After I get them paid off I'm cutting them up so I can't use them ever again! I've definitely learned my lesson this time because I hate feeling like this Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 look intio those loan-type places good though.... make sure that the credit cards will accept it. alot of the time, if YOU just call the card CO,'s and try and work out something..... they will arrange a payment plan...or something. Be Vocal with the card CO. esp. about late charges......if you become a pest they may waive them! Link to post Share on other sites
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 ok, first money, especially if you do not have and have debts.....is the biggest stressor. second....unless you are on his lease, oh well!!!! .... there are times in your life where you need to be selfish about yourwell being...aka credit.... and continue to live with your folks. i am 27, and yes currently i live at home....but i moved back, it is not like i have been absorbing off of them since birth. get YOUR s*** together first.... he can do his s*** at the same time..... it will alll work itself out in the end. maybe not your ideal-at-the-moment-way..... but it will and for the best! Well that made me feel alot better because I've always worried what other guys (especially him) thought of me still living at home with my parents. BUT who cares, it's what I have to do. it was just making me nervous because I was putting a time limit on it but it makes me feel better that I still have time. Is having $5000 in credit debt bad or is that average? Link to post Share on other sites
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 look intio those loan-type places good though.... make sure that the credit cards will accept it. alot of the time, if YOU just call the card CO,'s and try and work out something..... they will arrange a payment plan...or something. Be Vocal with the card CO. esp. about late charges......if you become a pest they may waive them! Oh awesome I will try that! I just need to get my monthly payments lowered so I have more money to save each month so I can pay them off sooner than later. Thanks for that advice Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Overspending can disorder your life in ways you've never dreamed of. I've found that most people who spend more than they make do so because of underlying emotional factors, often depression. Buying something, often even something they don't need, gives them a high albeit very temporary...a high they don't get out of other things in life to offset their feelings of sadness. Using credit cards at all, unless you have the means to pay them off each month in full, is insane. The interest rates are extremely high and you continue to live way ahead of yourself financially until you either go bankrupt or somebody bails you out. If you have to finance restaurant meals and gasoline, things you should be paying with your current cash, you are in very serious trouble and living way beyond your means. Eat sandwiches made at home and take the bus. There is no better feeling in the entire world that to be debt free. You are way too young to be starting off a life mired in heavy debt. Get help now and take whatever measures you must, including cutting up the cards. People a few generations ago had no idea what credit cards were and they did just fine. There are local non-profit credit counselling services in most cities. Avail yourself to their services and do whatever you can to change your spending habits. Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Well that made me feel alot better because I've always worried what other guys (especially him) thought of me still living at home with my parents. BUT who cares, it's what I have to do. it was just making me nervous because I was putting a time limit on it but it makes me feel better that I still have time. Is having $5000 in credit debt bad or is that average? $5000 IS SOOOOO nothing!!!! well as comare to others people i know! what is your interest rate? the best thing would be to get a loan, with a lower rate and pay the cards off then just pay on the loan..... which would most likely be a lesser amount than you pay each card know. this is my whole reason for being at home..... i have had boookuuu medical bills since i was 17......... over $80,000 yeah..... most of it was waived... but i am always in debt...... only just under $9,000 now. do what works for YOU! you can do this! ~P.S.~ I do not have any cards.... only my debit/ bankl card that comes directly from my actual funds! Link to post Share on other sites
jerbear Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Follow Tony T's suggestions of using free credit counselors. Do not use those for fee, non-profit, or debt consolidation companies yet. SOME are scams by doing what you can do then collecting a percentage of your payments. $5000 is below the national average, I believe it was over $8000 something, but that is just the average. Nothing wrong living with parents. I've done that before! :lmao: Bank of Parents can't fund a loan. why not move back? Watch some financial tv, Sue Ozman for instance or read some articles from Money magazine on managing your money and debts. In regards to spending money, maybe it is time to consider creating a budget and removing some frills. Keep a journal of expenses down to every penny and cut out frills. It might amaze you to know those $4 lattes may not be the biggest line item; but that Nth pair of white shoes you just bought. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 $5000 IS SOOOOO nothing!!!! When you're having problems making ends meet and you don't have extra cash to make big payments to pay it off, this kind of debt can eat you up for a very long time....especially if you're out there charging up even more. $5,000 can be a huge problem. People who run up debt like this often just keep charging as they pay down on their accounts. The original poster has already said her parents paid all her debt off and she ran her charges right back up again. In this member's case, $5,000 is a mountain of money, no other way to look at it. Link to post Share on other sites
j.carsey Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 This is totally my field. I have even done doubt counseling for people. vi_pn you are welcome to message me if you want. Basically the things you have to do are: 1) start budgeting, to make sure you don't overspend 2) stop using the credit card and start a repayment schedule 3) transfer the high interest debt to low interest debt #3 is important but very often overlooked, because of the math perspective. At 20% interest, 5 years of interest grows your debt 2.5-times! If you can reduce that to even 10% interest, you will save $4.4K over for example 5 years of debt. The INTEREST is the killer Link to post Share on other sites
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 Overspending can disorder your life in ways you've never dreamed of. I've found that most people who spend more than they make do so because of underlying emotional factors, often depression. Buying something, often even something they don't need, gives them a high albeit very temporary...a high they don't get out of other things in life to offset their feelings of sadness. Using credit cards at all, unless you have the means to pay them off each month in full, is insane. The interest rates are extremely high and you continue to live way ahead of yourself financially until you either go bankrupt or somebody bails you out. If you have to finance restaurant meals and gasoline, things you should be paying with your current cash, you are in very serious trouble and living way beyond your means. Eat sandwiches made at home and take the bus. There is no better feeling in the entire world that to be debt free. You are way too young to be starting off a life mired in heavy debt. Get help now and take whatever measures you must, including cutting up the cards. People a few generations ago had no idea what credit cards were and they did just fine. There are local non-profit credit counselling services in most cities. Avail yourself to their services and do whatever you can to change your spending habits. It's true that I've mostly been spending money on things I really don't need just to make me happy. But it's obviously making me more depressed than anything. And you're right when you say theres no better feeling in the world than to be debt free. And that's how I felt when my parents helped me, and I think that's why it's making me feel so bad to where I can barely even look them in the face like I betrayed them. But like I said they don't know that I racked them up again. I really do need to cut out the stupid lattes at starbucks because that will save me money in the long run. I wish gas prices weren't so high because I have to put premium in my sh*t lol. My car is my baby though and I always make sure I have enough money to pay my car payment before anything else. But from here on out, I'm going to really put a lock down on my spending habits so I can get that "feeling" again. Thanks for your reply Link to post Share on other sites
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 Follow Tony T's suggestions of using free credit counselors. Do not use those for fee, non-profit, or debt consolidation companies yet. SOME are scams by doing what you can do then collecting a percentage of your payments. $5000 is below the national average, I believe it was over $8000 something, but that is just the average. Nothing wrong living with parents. I've done that before! :lmao: Bank of Parents can't fund a loan. why not move back? Watch some financial tv, Sue Ozman for instance or read some articles from Money magazine on managing your money and debts. In regards to spending money, maybe it is time to consider creating a budget and removing some frills. Keep a journal of expenses down to every penny and cut out frills. It might amaze you to know those $4 lattes may not be the biggest line item; but that Nth pair of white shoes you just bought. Well that's good to know that I'm not way out of the norm with how much debt I have. And yah I don't really care what other people think about me living at home, maybe they wished they lived at home who knows, lol. And I really don't mind it because my parents let me do whatever I want, whenever I want, and come home any time even at wee hours of the morning, well I am 25 I can do whatever I want, but I still want to show respect because I'm living under their roof. That's funny that you mentioned the lattes, because that's exactly what I foolishly spend my money on....shoes are also another problem lol But seriously it adds up, I just don't realize it at the time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 $5000 IS SOOOOO nothing!!!! well as comare to others people i know! what is your interest rate? the best thing would be to get a loan, with a lower rate and pay the cards off then just pay on the loan..... which would most likely be a lesser amount than you pay each card know. this is my whole reason for being at home..... i have had boookuuu medical bills since i was 17......... over $80,000 yeah..... most of it was waived... but i am always in debt...... only just under $9,000 now. do what works for YOU! Yah I guess $5000 is not so bad, I just wish I hadn't slumpt back into the debt. Never ever again will I want to be in this situation! It's even affecting my eating habits to where I don't eat as much which is not good because I'm 5'8" 110 lbs, but normally I'm around 115-118 lbs, but still it's like I'm punishing myself for what I've done. The interest rate on my platinum card, which probaby isn't platinum anymore, is 29% !! That is sky high and I think it would be a good idea to pay that one off first. Wow I'm glad you have were able to get your debt down to $9000 from $80,000, that's a great accomplishment! I've actually overheard someone saying that they are $400,000 in debt and I'm thinking how can they get out of bed each day with that hanging over their head? So I guess I'm not that bad off, but geez I better straighten out my act before that ever happens! Thanks for your encouragement Link to post Share on other sites
j.carsey Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 People with large mortgages can easily be half a million in debt. Yes it is a bad feeling. I strongly recommend working hard to free yourself from debt, you will feel better in every respect. If nothing else you will rediscover the freedom that comes with having cash and savings, instead of debt. It lets you do whatever you want, move where you want, all that great stuff Link to post Share on other sites
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 When you're having problems making ends meet and you don't have extra cash to make big payments to pay it off, this kind of debt can eat you up for a very long time....especially if you're out their charging up even more. $5,000 can be a huge problem. People who run up debt like this often just keep charging as they pay down on their accounts. The original poster has alread said her parents paid all her debt off and she ran her charges right back up again. In this member's case, $5,000 is a mountain of money, no other way to look at it. I know that's why it makes me so anxious! I had the opportunity to live debt free, except that at the same time I lost my job and thats when I started charging stuff on my credit cards. :( It happened SO quick too :( Link to post Share on other sites
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 This is totally my field. I have even done doubt counseling for people. vi_pn you are welcome to message me if you want. Basically the things you have to do are: 1) start budgeting, to make sure you don't overspend 2) stop using the credit card and start a repayment schedule 3) transfer the high interest debt to low interest debt #3 is important but very often overlooked, because of the math perspective. At 20% interest, 5 years of interest grows your debt 2.5-times! If you can reduce that to even 10% interest, you will save $4.4K over for example 5 years of debt. The INTEREST is the killer Yah 1 of mine is at 29% interest!! Link to post Share on other sites
laRubiaBonita Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 but there are soooooooo many loans half as much as 29% that you can get...... that's the thing. research. this is one of those coming-of-age years...... where YOU have to do your own s***. your parent are being awesomely amazing! do not let them forget it..... but do not take it out on you either when there are some better options. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 People with large mortgages can easily be half a million in debt. Yes it is a bad feeling. I strongly recommend working hard to free yourself from debt, you will feel better in every respect. If nothing else you will rediscover the freedom that comes with having cash and savings, instead of debt. It lets you do whatever you want, move where you want, all that great stuff Wow I guess that's true about having a mortgage. Even students can have that much debt from student loans. What I'm going to do is take out so much money a month to have fun with, like going out with friends, or whatever and if I run out...then tough I can't go out. I'm really anxious to pay them off in a short amount of time, and hopefully it can happen if I'm smart about it. Link to post Share on other sites
j.carsey Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Honestly I think the best advice about debt and overspending is, you must learn to come to grips with living within your means. So you have to figure out what you can reasonably afford given your income and lifestyle. Myself, I can only afford a small car, and minimal driving. So I bicycle and take the bus whenever I can -- keeps me in great shape Restaurants... well I know I can not afford to go to classy places once a week. So I settle on going to restuarants that are good value, not pretentious places that charge $10 for an appetizer. Many people try to live waaay beyond their means: more car than they can affor, more house than they can afford. Lavish luxurious spending like fancy restaurants, expensive entertainment. And alcohol/bars/beer, a HUGE waste of money. And then let's not forget the drugs, common but really expensive. I won't give up on alcohol which is why I settle for wine, which is a fantastic deal, and otherwise avoid overdrinking at bars because it is such an expensive way to have a good time. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 but there are soooooooo many loans half as much as 29% that you can get...... that's the thing. research. this is one of those coming-of-age years...... where YOU have to do your own s***. your parent are being awesomely amazing! do not let them forget it..... but do not take it out on you either when there are some better options. Yah I definitely will search around for good rates. That's why I'm going to work hard at making good money so that one day I can repay my parents back all the money that they lent me. They are amazing people, VERY giving. I want to live like them where they have enough money to live comfortably and be able give to different charities at the same time. One of the reasons though why I think I have trouble being responsible with money is that I was never really taught how to be responsible. It sounds weird because they are both business managers but since they were so giving with their money, I never really learned responsibility for myself. Link to post Share on other sites
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 Honestly I think the best advice about debt and overspending is, you must learn to come to grips with living within your means. So you have to figure out what you can reasonably afford given your income and lifestyle. Myself, I can only afford a small car, and minimal driving. So I bicycle and take the bus whenever I can -- keeps me in great shape Restaurants... well I know I can not afford to go to classy places once a week. So I settle on going to restuarants that are good value, not pretentious places that charge $10 for an appetizer. Many people try to live waaay beyond their means: more car than they can affor, more house than they can afford. Lavish luxurious spending like fancy restaurants, expensive entertainment. And alcohol/bars/beer, a HUGE waste of money. And then let's not forget the drugs, common but really expensive. I won't give up on alcohol which is why I settle for wine, which is a fantastic deal, and otherwise avoid overdrinking at bars because it is such an expensive way to have a good time. I try not to live above my means, but I do like nice things, that's one of my downfalls. And since I don't drink beer (I don't like the taste) it's more expensive for me to party because I'm buying the mixed drinks, but it's just what I prefer. Maybe I'll just HAVE to acquire a taste for beer, lol. Link to post Share on other sites
j.carsey Posted June 28, 2006 Share Posted June 28, 2006 Beer is awful, I can't stand the taste either. Wine or hard liquor, mix it with soft drinks. Sweet stuff, IMHO Link to post Share on other sites
Author vi_pn_babe25 Posted June 28, 2006 Author Share Posted June 28, 2006 Beer is awful, I can't stand the taste either. Wine or hard liquor, mix it with soft drinks. Sweet stuff, IMHO Yah I like the sweet stuff....although alot of times I'll down a shot of straight vodka....my friends think I'm crazy but it works lol. Link to post Share on other sites
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