married, and in love witha married man

[married3kids]

I am married with 3 childern and have been with my husband for 10 years, He has 3 childern and has been with his wife for 13 years. We have been friend for about a year and I think I am Love with him. Our marriages are about the same and so is our life stlyles, we live a few bolcks from eachother and our chidern our friends. We have been "flirting" for a while and I am stuck in a sitiatution that I am not sure what to do. I am not sure how he feels but even at a recent birthday party for my child 2 of my friends called me the next day and said that it was apparent how we both feel. The fact is I want him and am not sure how to stop the feelings I have for him.I know it's wrong and I know how I would feel if a woman had these feelings for my husband . I figured maybe talking about it would help and stop these feeelings. It is my only option I know if I act on these feelings both my life and his life my be destroyed but I also think if we act on these feelings how great it would be.

all replays welcomed and apprecatied.

[ShareHer]

Well, why don't you ask your husband if he's attracted to the other guy's wife and if he is, you can all swap! Naaa, just kidding ... kind of.

 

Just for fun, let's say you guys did swap. I'll bet it wouldn't be long before you noticed all this other guy's faults and realized this hottie that's been flirting with you is no better than the man you already have. You've just been getting a little special attention from someone else, that's all this is. Hey, it feels damn good doesn't it? Enjoy the attention, do a better job of hiding your flirtations but don't take it any further.

 

There's a saying that goes ... No matter how beautiful and sexy a woman may look, somewhere there's a man that's tired of her shiit. That could just as easily apply to men. If you hooked up with this other guy, eventually the shine and luster would wear off.

 

Work on rekindling what you have with your husband. Getting with this guy would be way too complicated.

[blessing2006]

hi.

 

There's always the temptation of thinking hooking up with the other person, the other woman's husband, will be more exciting than what you already have.

 

If only you could look through a crystal ball and see how wrong you are!

 

We were created to be loyal and faithful. It's in our genes. You won't be happier by breaking up with your husband, abandoning you kids (they will think you did) and going after this other guy.

 

Your man won't forgive you. Your children won't. All said and done, you will lose big time.

 

How do you stop these feelings?

 

By taking a stand in what you believe in.

 

What do you believe in?

 

I belt you want your husband to be faithful to you. I guess you want him to give you the best and not do so much as glance at another woman.

 

If that's what you want, do the same for him.

 

Tell this other man you want to be faithful to your husband. Tell him you want to be a good mother to your kids - a good example. And fire him.

 

Do not dream of what life could be. To be honest with you, your life won't be better off.

 

How do I know?

 

Well, others prior to you did just that and their lives became a living hell.

 

Love your husband. Tease him. Tantalize him. You will be amazed how much more sweeter he could be.

 

Honestly, infidelity never pays. So, do not succumb to the temptations. Decisively break off from this man.

[bunset]

Married3....

 

I strongly recommend you visit the Other Woman/Other Man forum on LS.

Read through what all of them are experiencing. They'll support you and help you through.

What your heart is feeling is already an affair, really.

 

You need to think all of it through, and you need to talk with others. You probably ought to get individual counseling, too.

 

No judgements, just support.

[Trimmer]

I figured maybe talking about it would help and stop these feeelings. It is my only option I know if I act on these feelings both my life and his life my be destroyed but I also think if we act on these feelings how great it would be.

 

You know, I've never doubted that having a fling with someone new would probably feel great - for a short while. But I am absolutely sure, as you point out, that it then destroys you and the people around you (and don't forget your kids in that...), and that lasts for quite a long while. You have to decide whether the balance is worth it, but I think a lot of people go into it only realizing these short term "flashbulb" intense sexual feelings, and either not seeing, or fooling themselves into ignoring the longer term consequences. Don't kid yourself that you could avoid the long term consequences - you can't.

 

It's hopeful that you say you want to stop these feelings - in my opinion, you are at least still thinking somewhat clearly...

 

I posted a lot in another thread here started by a poster in a similar situation to yours. You might want to read over the discussion in that thread as a starting point, because it sounds like a lot of it might apply to you.

 

How's your marriage?

[married3kids]

I think the best words to describe my marrige is o.k., We don't fight we don't really talk we don't even sleep in the same bed. We live for our 3 childern. When we meet 10 years ago we dated for a while and broke up. I married another man and had my first son that marrige lasted 6 months and then we divorced. When I got back with my husband it was for my son I wantd him to have a father and he was a great one. Don't think I am a bad person for doing this but my husband knew why we were togher we both wanted childern he was getting older and wanted to settle down.We both had goals in our lives and it seem a sesable decison to be togher. We do love eachother but I guess love has always been to be the last thing on our list.My first husband wanted nothing to do with our son so 2 years ago my husband adopted my son and he only knows him as his father he has no idea about his biolglical father. we since had 2 more childern. When looking from the outside in we have a "perfect" family.