andrea pamelsoun Posted November 20, 2001 Share Posted November 20, 2001 I'm writing to ask your advice about a problem with Stan,my boyfriend.He's nice to me when the two of us are together.But when we go out with his friends ,he ignores me.For example,last weekend we went to a restaurant and met some of his friends.For two hours he talked to them but not to me.What should i do? Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted November 20, 2001 Share Posted November 20, 2001 Well, you could take some Pepto Bismol but I think the better thing to do would be to talk to Stan. Let him know just how you feel and ask him why he does this. Tell him if he will help you understand, you may not feel so bad about leaving him. If he doesn't snap to and change fast, I would leave this relatioship. If he really cares about you, he will change this pronto. You don't live your entire life just with each other. It can be a really weird feeling being with someone and having them ignore you all evening. Get to the bottom of this right away, talking directly to Stan, and see if you can work it out...on a permanent basis. No temporary fixes here. It's going to take you a while to see if he can change permanently. When somebody ignores me in a roomful of people, I usually assume they find everybody else more interesting than me. But maybe he feels he sees you more often and can talk to you one on one so he's better to spend the time with friends talking to them. Only Stan can tell you his real reason...and let's hope he's honest with you and doesn't make up some lame excuse. Even if he has a good reason, the fact that his ignoring you makes you uncomfortable ought to be enough reason for him to include you in the conversations. Are you speaking up enough and attempting to get involved? Some of this could be your fault. It's very difficult to totally ignore someone who's trying to participate. Link to post Share on other sites
arthropod98 Posted November 20, 2001 Share Posted November 20, 2001 first question -- how long have you two been going out?? second question -- what about times when just you two are out . . . is he attentive then?? i'm thinking it's one of two things, and i'll save the least pleasant for last. ONE. it could be that he doesn't see his friends often, so he focuses on them when he can. i'm not saying this is RIGHT on his part, but it's a possibility. TWO. he might not want anyone to have the impression he's dating someone. i know, sounds harsh, but it could be the case. either way, why don't you ASK him about this, and tell him how it makes you feel?? people just don't seem to TALK enough in a relationship, and you've absolutely GOT to do that . . . i believe that's one of the MOST (if not THE MOST) important things in a relationship! I'm writing to ask your advice about a problem with Stan,my boyfriend.He's nice to me when the two of us are together.But when we go out with his friends ,he ignores me.For example,last weekend we went to a restaurant and met some of his friends.For two hours he talked to them but not to me.What should i do? Link to post Share on other sites
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