Walking away Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 Don't be shy. I was terrified to post my story when I started here at LS. I found lots and lots of support from the people here. You would possibly contradict yourself because you are undoubtedly confused right now. That makes you human. Post your story. You will get lots of support. WA Link to post Share on other sites
BenThereDunThat Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 Guest - WA is absolutely right. You will get lots of support. After posting a couple of small snippets, I finally put the whole thing to words and the responses I got have already helped! Link to post Share on other sites
BenThereDunThat Posted July 30, 2006 Share Posted July 30, 2006 And here's my add-ons: I hate the thrill I still feel when I hear a new email come in, hoping it's from you (even though I forbade you to contact me) I also hate the thrill I get from hearing the familiar sound when someone IM's me. Again, hoping it's you. I hate that your life is status quo, meanwhile, my dishes/laundry are piling up and I can't get motivated to do anything more than get myself to work everyday. Where, unfortunately, I see you. I hate when you try to catch my eye, because you know/hope it will weaken me. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ahotmess Posted August 26, 2006 Author Share Posted August 26, 2006 I hate that despite all the pain you cause....you can still bring me to tears of laughter... I hate that you are my happy place. I hate that you understand me so very well. Link to post Share on other sites
LittleWingedOne Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 I remember being the other woman, its so so so so hard. And your post made me tear up. I know you must love him, but its destructive... and pain is not a good way to spend your life, even if you love him. There will be other men out there. I don't want to sound cold, because I have been in that situation... it just never ends good. Link to post Share on other sites
lovernotafighter Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 I gave a bunch of songs to my MM...one of 'em was called I hate U by prince ~ I never thought that U would be the one After all the things that we've been through U gave your body 2 another in the name of fun I hope U had some baby, if not, boo hoo It's so sad but I hate U like a day without sunshine It's so bad but I hate U cuz U're all that's ever on my mind Honey, I hate U - Now everyday would be a waste of time Cuz I hate U I never thought that I could feel this way 2 fall in love was a table reserved 4 fools Say U're sorry if U wanna but it's all in vain I'm out the door sweet baby, that's right, we're through It's so sad but I hate U like a day without sunshine It's so bad but I hate U cuz U're all that's ever on my mind Honey, I hate U - Now everyday would be a waste of time Cuz I hate guess this thread will always make me think of that Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted August 26, 2006 Share Posted August 26, 2006 How did he react when you gave him the songs?? Link to post Share on other sites
lovernotafighter Posted August 27, 2006 Share Posted August 27, 2006 Horrified and confused Link to post Share on other sites
once removed Posted August 28, 2006 Share Posted August 28, 2006 I want to first thank all of you for your thoughts and feelings you have spread before my eye. WOW I’m not alone in my feeling. And I hope we can all find away past the pain, past the lies into what we really deserve I Hate that you asked for my heart I Hate that you asked for me to drop my walls and let you in emotionally I Hate that you asked me to believe that we had a chance of a future But most of all I hate that I fell for it hook line and sinker and believed there was an “us And I hate that I can’t hate you Link to post Share on other sites
once removed Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 and for the other side of the coin I love that you helped me to grow stronger I love that I am strong enough to stand on my own I love that I don't need you And I'll miss my rock I'll miss sharing my every thought I'll miss knowing someone believes in me I'll miss being soft for you and in the end I'll miss you or at least the ideal we shared One more love... I love that I have released the pain, anger and self-pitty... and that I can forgive you... after all you are only being the same you that you have always been. I am moving to my future ... It's great that life sometimes cleans house and leaves us open to bigger and better things. Link to post Share on other sites
BenThereDunThat Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 Once Removed: AWESOME posts. You captured everything - the good, the bad, all of it. But the best part: "One more love... I love that I have released the pain, anger and self-pitty... and that I can forgive you... after all you are only being the same you that you have always been. I am moving to my future ... It's great that life sometimes cleans house and leaves us open to bigger and better things." Perfect. Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 I hate: That you are all so addicted to MM. And I hope: That you will all find lovely SG's Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 I hate: That you are all so addicted to MM. And I hope: That you will all find lovely SG's I hate that we are addicted to each other! We are each others drug, weird to admit because neither one of us drinks, smokes or 'drugs' but we have admitted we are like heroin to each other. We can't stay away! Link to post Share on other sites
once removed Posted August 30, 2006 Share Posted August 30, 2006 Just watch me I'll stay away... each day it will be hard but soon it will become the norm! fool me once shame on you fool me twice shame on me...... never again Link to post Share on other sites
BenThereDunThat Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 I hate: That you are all so addicted to MM. And I hope: That you will all find lovely SG's Hi Newbby! You'll be happy to know that I have finally come out from under the spell...I didn't meet him Monday night and this week has been nothing but smooth sailing at work. No blood pressure rising, friendly 'hi, hello there' every once in a while. Thanks again for your help. Hope everything is going well with you and SG! BTDT:) Link to post Share on other sites
newbby Posted August 31, 2006 Share Posted August 31, 2006 well done btdt! you are strong and i am happy for you. now go out there and find a man who treats you right and is available for exciting things like progression! this relationship with sg is moving fast, but compared to a relationship with a mm, anything is fast. i'm glad its moving fast too! thankyou too. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ahotmess Posted November 7, 2006 Author Share Posted November 7, 2006 Hey if you're still around....I would love to know what's going on with you! PM me sometime. Link to post Share on other sites
Meaplus3 Posted November 7, 2006 Share Posted November 7, 2006 Here are a few things you should know: I hate the feeling I have when you leave me, because I am never sure if it will be the last time I see you. I'm not afraid of being alone. I am comfortable with myself. I am afraid of my life without you in it. I hate the fact that my dream come true, would be someones worst nightmare. The thing that would make me happiest, would be so damaging to another soul. I hate the way that I know what you are thinking. Even worse that you know my thoughts. To a " T ". I hate that I can love something that makes me cry every night. I hate the fact that I never had a real chance with you. And that I never will. I hate our honesty. Sometimes things really are better left unsaid. I hate that everything reminds me of you. Every song. Every joke. Every story. Every movie. Every breath. Everything reminds me. I hate that there is no magic pill to rid my heart of you. I really would sell my soul to get you out of my mind. But I would never trade a single moment. I hate that my happiest times, cause me shame. I hate that I waited 24yrs to hear something.....that I can't share with the world. I hate the fact that no one understands. I hate that you have something without me. Yet I am empty handed. I hate that I didn't save my heart for someone who can truly love. But I would never hate you. I can't. I am sure that as long as there is an ounce of life in me, I will love you with all that I have. There is nothing that I would not forsake to have you. But I would give everything I had to hate you, even though I never could. And I hate that you made me even write this dumb **** down. It sucks to feel like this. And I just thought you should know. Hi, I can relate to every word here, well written! I am VERY sorry for your pain, I know it cant hurt like ****. I think you are doing a GREAT job with NC, it just takes time. Stay Strong! AP:) Link to post Share on other sites
Shiraz Posted November 7, 2006 Share Posted November 7, 2006 This is actually really neat. So, we all feel the exact way. We all hurt but can't let go. Are we nuts? IT's neat to see that I'm normal though. Your words are as if I wrote them myself. Thank you for taking the time to share. Link to post Share on other sites
once removed Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 Yes we are all nuts. And I still feel for him. Don't know if I would be strong enough to say no if he walked back into my life today and remembered he loved me. Except for one part, when I needed him the most. When I needed something to hold onto in my life...he was with the other other woman. yes ment 2 other because I was just the other, she got the man. On a bright note with all the stress and BS in my life........ I've gone from a large size 12 to a size 6. See something good can come out of anything. OR Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 Just to add.. I hate it that when I am away all the emotional investment I have put in to our relationship does not even earn me a phone call. I wait by my cell phone, aching for contact, but there is none. I hate that our time together is tainted by the fact that here is someone else to whom you are committed. Someone I have never met, someone who gets the best of you, someone I cannot beat. I hate the feeling of betrayal when I think of all the sweet nothings that I have poured in your ear, knowing that someone else does the same thing, in the same ear. I cry in despair to think the relationship that has come to define my life is totally overshadowed by a stranger to me. No matter how long I live, the knowledge that someone else has bound you to them, been welcomed into bed by you, and shared all your intimate secrets will haunt me to the grave. Yes, my wife of 20 years, and mother of our 3 children, I will forever regret that you had an affair with someone elses husband. The pain will ALWAYS be there. Link to post Share on other sites
FlyingHigh Posted November 8, 2006 Share Posted November 8, 2006 Just to add.. I hate it that when I am away all the emotional investment I have put in to our relationship does not even earn me a phone call. I wait by my cell phone, aching for contact, but there is none. I hate that our time together is tainted by the fact that here is someone else to whom you are committed. Someone I have never met, someone who gets the best of you, someone I cannot beat. I hate the feeling of betrayal when I think of all the sweet nothings that I have poured in your ear, knowing that someone else does the same thing, in the same ear. I cry in despair to think the relationship that has come to define my life is totally overshadowed by a stranger to me. No matter how long I live, the knowledge that someone else has bound you to them, been welcomed into bed by you, and shared all your intimate secrets will haunt me to the grave. Yes, my wife of 20 years, and mother of our 3 children, I will forever regret that you had an affair with someone elses husband. The pain will ALWAYS be there. Glad you posted the "SIDE" that OMs and OWs never take into consideration when they "consciously" made the decision to engage with someone who is married. It's all about them, self-gratification, fantasy fulfillment. Overtime, their desire to want more result in pain, anguish, waiting hopelessly for more, and the day when MM/MW leaves their spouse for them. They write their desperation, pain and sorrow for their MM/MW in songs and poems. But nowhere do theirs songs and poems do they mention the equally painful sorrows and betrayal they caused to the families of their MM/MW. How can they? The families and the spouses of their MM/MW were never their concerns to begin with. How can one attain genuine love and happiness at the expense of someone else's sorrow, their betrayed spouse and children? What human with any conscience or a remotely self-respecting individual who claim to be sensitive and caring would turn around and cause pain or be an accessory for causing pain and destruction to others? It is ashame that an intelligent individual who has the skill/talent and time time to write songs and poems about their self-inficted anguish and pain for their MM/MW could not have implemented that same careful thought and action to not get involved with anyone who is committed to someone else. All it would have taken for these OW/OM was a simple: "NO". Who knows their poems and songs would be a happy melody of someone whom they have a future with. Link to post Share on other sites
ely Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 Here are a few things you should know: I hate the feeling I have when you leave me, because I am never sure if it will be the last time I see you. I'm not afraid of being alone. I am comfortable with myself. I am afraid of my life without you in it. I hate the fact that my dream come true, would be someones worst nightmare. The thing that would make me happiest, would be so damaging to another soul. I hate the way that I know what you are thinking. Even worse that you know my thoughts. To a " T ". I hate that I can love something that makes me cry every night. I hate the fact that I never had a real chance with you. And that I never will. I hate our honesty. Sometimes things really are better left unsaid. I hate that everything reminds me of you. Every song. Every joke. Every story. Every movie. Every breath. Everything reminds me. I hate that there is no magic pill to rid my heart of you. I really would sell my soul to get you out of my mind. But I would never trade a single moment. I hate that my happiest times, cause me shame. I hate that I waited 24yrs to hear something.....that I can't share with the world. I hate the fact that no one understands. I hate that you have something without me. Yet I am empty handed. I hate that I didn't save my heart for someone who can truly love. But I would never hate you. I can't. I am sure that as long as there is an ounce of life in me, I will love you with all that I have. There is nothing that I would not forsake to have you. But I would give everything I had to hate you, even though I never could. And I hate that you made me even write this dumb **** down. It sucks to feel like this. And I just thought you should know. I hate that the one and only thing I asked frolm you, was the first you ignored. Link to post Share on other sites
confused93 Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 I hate that I am married and don't have the guts to leave so we can be together. I hate that I have hinted about my feelings for you and you keep me guessing, even though I think you do that to protect your heart because of what has happened to you in the past. Let me in!! I will try so very hard not to hurt you. I hate that we have so much in common, have so much fun together and we are not together the way we should be. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted November 9, 2006 Share Posted November 9, 2006 I think all OW can relate to the pain your feeling and I hope it gets better for you. Link to post Share on other sites
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